A week ago, I noticed a red spot on Noah’s head. The day before Thanksgiving, it had turned into a large, uncomfortable-looking open sore. I had no idea what it was and suddenly I was having visions of creepy diseases, painful and expensive visits to the vet, oral and topical antibiotics, all of the other cats (and myself of course) catching it too, and our home turning into a mini leper colony. The mind is a scary place when left unchecked!
Happily for all of us, I did catch myself (eventually), and started to say out loud, “This is going to be easy to heal. I know that the perfect solution will present itself and all is well.” That afternoon, I had the idea to put some ointment on it. By the next morning, it looked worse. It is really a challenge, when I am looking at something that scares me, to see the outcome that I want to happen, and “turn a blind eye” to the situation that is staring me in the face (while still treating it). But I kept up my positive talk and refused to let my mind go down the path of doom, disease and disaster. I finally saw improvement on Saturday morning and today it looks much better.
When my mind was mired in fear, the simple solution (of trying the ointment that I already had at home) didn’t present itself. A more relaxed, easy and hopeful mind allowed a simple, easy solution to “surface”.
“Turn a blind eye and a deaf ear every now and then, and we get on marvellously well.” Martha Wilmot
Thanks, Mary, for another thought-provoking post today.
I have wondered for so long, through experiencing it in my life, why it takes such focused effort to curb your mind and “let things be,” and yet takes almost no effort at all to fall into, and wallow in, the worst case scenario.
I have been trying for over 20 years to just automatically relax into a fear-less frame of mind when something bad presents itself, and yet if I don’t constantly catch myself, I realize that I’ve let the fear predominate again.
Sometimes I think I’m clueless especially in this subject. I can talk the talk but I can’t walk the walk.
Oh don’t I know it Suzanne! Sometimes, when I keep falling back into old patterns, I have to remind myself that there was a time when I didn’t even know enough to try to stop the negative thoughts…”progress not perfection” fits here I think!
So glad that Noah is doing better! I’ve found that those of us with healthy, active, creative imaginations often have those same imaginations at work when we are afraid, except the fear can blind us to the positive and we find ourselves imagining the worst. It takes such strength to step out of fear and into hope. When I feel fear building and taking over I continually repeat ‘trust in the Lord’, trust in the Lord’ til I can see through the dark and into the light.
Happy hopeful Monday Mary!
Very interesting post. My training in nursing really honed my native tendency to anticipate problems into a sharp point. I’ve learned that I can also see from another point of view that expects positive outcomes, but I have to stop and remind myself to just gaze for a while without defining or labeling, as with those visual puzzles where the outline can be either a vase or two faces. I can see both images and make a choice when I stop looking and begin to see.
Thank you for this Barbara….if you can/would like to write more on this approach, I would be very interested, as I know others would be as well.
Hooray for Noah and the positive outcome!
I agree with Suzanne, it is far too easy to expect the worst, yet we seem to find the best outcome hard to believe… personally I think it has a lot to do with fear-based mass media that inundates us with negativity until we learn to (literally, in some cases) “turn it off”! (And thanks to Jon Katz for his excellent writings on this subject…)
Thanks again Mary for sharing your wisdom! Fear, concern, anxiety . . . they can all lead us down the wrong path. When my dear Fatty (Foofer’s pal) once had a big red sore on her back I took her to the Vet and got some pricey cream for it. It just got worse. I finally put some of my Aloe Vera gel on it from a plant I kept for myself (along with some positive thinking). It healed within a few days! I am so glad Noah is doing better. You have a wonderful household.
Thank you JoAnne for both your wishes and for your story of healing…both very much appreciated
Good Morning, Mary, and all – I had a wonderful Thanksgiving Weekend full of family without the feuds that usually erupt. From time to time during the long weekend, I remembered to become a “deaf-mute” and neither hear nor say anything incendiary. Ah. Peace, and I let out a long breath …………………….
Isn’t it amazing how our wonderful pets just happen to show up with a scrape now and again…usually right before a holiday. When I lived on a farm years ago, our farm cats would show up with a ear half torn off and I would just put a medication for cow wounds on it the vet told me about when he had visited last when a cow was down. My father did not allow vet calls for just cats. Just how it was. So I had quick side chats with the vet when my dad was out of hearing. Now, long on my own, my first reaction is the thought of grabbing up Fitz if he is at all scraped up and take him to the vet. But it is good to just stop and think logically about whether it is necessary or just a gut response. Cats heal pretty darn well on their own as long as it is nothing serious and you keep an eye on it. In Fitz’s case, just thinking about Fitz’s reaction at having to be put in a carrier, into the car (he hyperventilates), let alone the vet visit, forces me to stop and think. I douse boo boos with hydrogen peroxide, which my vet now recommends, and keep a very close eye on it.
Love this Barbara! Thanks
Dear Mary,
I am so very happy that your treatment is working on dear Noah.
I tried positive thinking, prayer, and a watch and wait approach on my cat, Punkin, who turned up with a similar wound. I used antibiotic ointment prescribed by the vet. The wound was deep and finally needed debriding, something I could not do. I procrastinated over T’giving and sadly, he passed away on Friday. I will never know if further treatment would have helped.
My point is, sometimes it is smart to bite the bullet and see the vet before problems escalate.
Punkin was 8 years old, a gentle giant with what should have been, a longer life here with the cats of Lakeviw Point.
My prayers are now for Noah.
Oh Marilyn, my heart goes out to you… and thank you for the prayers for Noah.
sending grace to you marilyn for the loss of punkin. it’s a sad passing when we loose those we love so deeply. prayers for you.
I’m so sorry, Marilyn, that you’ve had to lose your dear friend and pet. I hope peace will temper your grief. My heart is with you.
Condolences to Marilyn on the loss of her beloved Punkin.
Best, best healing wishes for Noah.
From Fran
i don’t know if it’s the shorter days, less light here at the 45th parrallel, but i’m not sleeping well at night. i lay awake sometimes for an hour or even longer—often! i’m finding this quiet time to be settling; to send prayers and ask for grace for all friends, family and contacts that come to mind—animals or their people. so many of the postings here at white feather farm come to mind.
i don’t do facebook but i feel connected to so many on this blog. thanks everyone for the contributions, and to mary for putting it all into motion.
much love
I am so sorry Marilyn that you lost your sweet Punkin so suddenly. I hope your many happy memories sustain you during these sad days. My dog who is twelve now, has one of those big fatty tumors on his left side – it got noticeably bigger this past year, so I took him to the vet this summer. She was able to aspirate a bit of the fluid with a needle (Dobie didn’t even flinch) and it is benign. Still you wonder. I decided against surgery thinking at his age, there may be more risk than gain, and after all it’s only cosmetically bothersome. So we make decisions, and sometimes we just don’t know. But trust in all the love you gave Punkin, that is one thing you know for sure! I bet he had one tremendously happy cat life with you, Marilyn!
Marilyn, I add my condolences for Punkin, it just plain hurts to lose them.
Mary, I love your sense of humor – anticipating a mini leper colony! Darn it, if they could only help out a little with what’s going on with a word or two. My cat Tootsie has ongoing irritable bowel issues that involves changes of meds, chiropracty for what seems to be back pain… some days she seems comfortable, other days she doesn’t. I’m doing the best I can to help her but am constantly second guessing myself. But your balm does help excoriated areas she gets on her back legs.
OK, I’ve got to go prevent a fight that’s brewing between Hansli and Libby – they are eyeballing each other with tails switching…
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I love the way you ended your comment Sally! A nice smile this evening for me!
Oh, how I could relate to this, Mary. Something I must continually to practice also… though happy to say I believe I am getting a wee better at it. So hard not to worry when it is our beloved pets… but then how we can get ourselves into such a crazy tizzy! I went through a spell where fear loomed so large in my head about the day my little dog passes- what will I do- what will my purpose be? Since she is so much a part of my life and my work, I let those thoughts consume me. My head was a terrible place to dwell for awhile. But as she slows down as she ages, I realize gifts emerging that leave time open for new avenues for me to pursue, which I am enjoying. She is always leading the way– I just must listen.
Dear Mary,
I am overwhelmed by the prayers and expressions of sympathy sent to me by you and your readers in my loss of Punkin. It means more than each of you shall ever know. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Mary, your blog is a daily event that inspires me to be a better person and live a life of meaning in the moment. Peace to you and your readers.
Mary, I don’t think you needed to add Martha’s quote…your comment: “The mind is a scary place when left unchecked!” is going up in big letters on my printer (it’s my inspirational depot beside my computer). I can’t think of a better reminder for a creative mind who can get itself into all kinds of imaginable trouble without any help at all.
SandyP
Mary, I send tears and sympathy on the loss of your beloved Punkin,. I sure he loved you very much.
Sorry.I meant Marilyn.
I was shocked to read about Punkin’s passing, So sorry Maryilyn.
You just never know when their time is. You just love them like there is no tomorrow.
And then you remember the joy they gave you for the rest of your life.
Great post.
Mary, I am so glad Noah is better, and Marilyn, I am so sorry about Punkin. I am a fellow pet owner, but also a small animal veterinarian, so I can view issues from both sides. It can be difficult sometimes to work out what is wrong in the clinic setting, and I always find it helpful to listen carefully to my client’s viewpoint – many things will be obvious at home, which are masked in the clinic because of stress or fear. I may be mistaken, but I sense an underlying current in the comments that perhaps some of you do not fully trust your veterinarian, with respect to diagnosis or treatment. In our defense, diagnosis can be challenging, and not all animals respond to treatment the way we expect. I always try my best with each individual – remember, most of us are in the job because we genuinely care. ( I am not a clinic owner, and do not work on commission. I’m certainly not in the job for the money!) I urge you, if you have a concern about your pet, to at least call your veterinarian. He or she may be able to set your mind at rest, or may recognize more serious indications. Many injuries & illnesses are easily treated if caught early, but become more difficult as time goes on. Good communication & trust are essential between vet & client.
Mary, thank you so much for your column. It brings a little peace each day that I treasure, and often a nugget of wisdom that I truly need!
Thanks so much for writing Denise. I never give advise as to whether or not someone should go to a doctor for themselves,or a vet for their animals. My only suggestion is that whatever we do, we not be motivated by fear. I could have been clearer here because if i had the feeling that I should have taken Noah to our vet, I would have no problem doing that at all. I thank God for all of the help in this Universe and am grateful it is there when I am prompted to seek it out.
Sorry, Mary, I did not mean to imply that either you or Marilyn should have gone to the vet. I meant no criticism at all of any of you. I don’t know the full situation of any of the cases. It was more a general feeling that some people seem reluctant to trust their vets…that gives me great concern. Is it a failing on our part? I try so hard to be approachable…essentially I try to treat people the way I would wish to be treated. I just don’t want to not be called because someone thinks I don’t care, or that “they’re being silly”. I would much rather hear about something minor, than miss something major.