we are all in this together

Great picture sent to me by a friend last night

So, we have our plane reservations made and are now working on a place to stay. I’ve sent out a bunch of emails to bungalow/beach house owners, asking prices and in some cases, seeing if they would be willing to come down in price to meet our budget. I have never done this before. I’ve always believed that negotiating prices (on anything) was not the “right” thing to do. It occurred to me the other day that I could try to do it differently.

Instead of not even considering a place that is over our budget, I could simply ask them. As I did this, I noticed a fear that asking for a lower price would make the transaction somehow adversarial. When I told Jack how I was feeling, he laughed and said, “They can say yes or no, or even email back with an in-between price, but your emails were really polite. No one is going to get offended Mary.”

It struck me, as I closed my computer last night, and put the search to bed also, that maybe my email will be just what someone was hoping for too…that what we want, also wants us.

There is only one of us here: What we give to others, we give to ourselves. What we withhold from others, we withhold from ourselves. In any moment, when we choose fear instead of love, we deny ourselves the experience of Paradise.” Marianne Williamson

14 thoughts on “we are all in this together

  1. Back in 1994, I was planning a move after a recent and shocking divorce. I wanted to move closer to where I worked, and I wanted to have a completely fresh start. I found a condo I loved but the asking price was more than I could afford.

    For the very first time in my life, I decided that I was going to put in an offer based on what I could manage financially. I had been raised to think that any kind of bargaining was just not done, and that people would think less of you if you did it. Given that, you can understand why doing it was a HUGE step for me.

    So bargain I did, with great trepidation. Even my real estate agent said I was not going to get this. Two days later he called me and said the owners had accepted my offer. I almost fainted. And guess what? No one ever thought less of me for it!

    Do your thing, Mary. It will all shake out and you’ll have the best time ever.

    P.S. The photo is superb!

  2. Love the dog and kitty pile up, they know where true comfort lives! And I ditto what Suzanne said in her reply, “do your thing, Mary”…

  3. Good Morning Mary,
    I know! I hate to ask for anything for myself too. I guess that’s something many of us need to work on. Your Jack is right. They can always say no or offer something in between then everyone gets “something”.
    Good for you to be so brave, and good luck with this adventure.
    Love the picture also.
    From Fran

  4. Mary –
    I just had to tell you, since I know you love the Maine coast. My husband and
    I walked the beach in Wells on Sunday with our dog Stanley. It was so beautiful,
    sunny and not too hot with the ocean breeze. I have this need to breathe in the
    salt air. It is restorative to me. I would like to live there, but my mother-in-law
    who is 85 lives in our town and we are responsible for her. It’s nice to dream though. I thought of you as we walked.

  5. So proud of you Mary! In other cultures bargaining is expected – you’d never pay the asking price for anything, even a bunch of bananas! and yet we were raised differently, and as nice little girls, to be more submissive and accepting of everything. Sigh! – I remember when I was first married and my husband bought a nice suit in a department store, and come time to pay, he was working on the salesman to ‘throw in a tie’ – to him this was just fun, all part of the experience of getting a good deal. The bewildered salesperson said he could not do that! How would he enter it into the sales ticket? Negotiating by email is a great start! – and you may be pleasantly surprised – you can be sure we’ll all imagine your offer being accepted today. And if not that one, try, try again – that perfect place is already waiting for you, Jack and the boys.

  6. Mary, I so appreciate what you have shared cuz I’ve been there. When my husband died in 1998 I eventually made the decision sell his Camry. I went to the dealer knowing what I wanted for it; it was in mint condition. They offered me $5000. I wanted $10,000. For the first time in my life I bargained! and I got $9000. My beloved had been a great salesperson so I could not help but believe he had been there, cheering me on. I wasn’t 100% comfortable being in that position but it felt good to find out that I could do it if I had to and I walked away from the situation “changed”.
    I support you in this process, Mary. There IS only One of us here.

  7. I love the picture Mary, thank you for sharing! I applaud your bargaining. I prayed for a place to live that would feed my spirit and was drawn to a townhouse that I would never have considered. I asked for a reduction and got it. I had never done that before either! Have you considered trading homes for vacation; both benefit by not having to pay for a vacation home at all.
    I love your title as well “we are all in this together” My favorite verse lately is “Eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” Ephesians 4:3 I am so encouraged that we can all come together and rise above polarization, partisanship, divisions and separation. I love Chief Seattle’s quote “Humans do not weave the web of life, she is merely a thread in it, whatever she does to the web, she does to herself”

  8. Thanks for sharing your story. I have always just paid whatever someone asked. I never thought differently, as I would price something for what I thought it was exactly worth and felt uncomfortable when someone thought they should offer less..All so interesting. I am now thinking about this all in a different way. Let me know how this works out, Mary.
    I did call Southwest to ask about best day for best price and found out that after I did get my tickets and the price goes down, I could rebook the flight and the savings would be a credit for up to a year. I changed twice and have a credit of over $60. so that means another trip..hmmmm

  9. I think your new approach is absolutely the right way to go. The hotel or resort owners may be very grateful to accept your booking and as your husband said, they can always say “no”. If they can sell their rooms at the high price, well who can blame them but many people will not even approach them so quite often they will have room standing empty, earning nothing. It is time for the World to start operating in a more common sense fashion.
    I think you will get something very nice and you certainly deserve it.

  10. Thank you everyone for your support and good wishes! It looks like we have found the spot (and their asking price is below our budget) Lots of love to you all! Mary

  11. Great news! How exciting! And a great learning process too. People bargin and barter everywhere now. Owners expect it. I finally got my man to do this with all our flea marketing etc. He was very reluctant also. We’ve had to ask for less at attractions and hotels. Suprisingly people are generally very kind and accomodating. Positive energy and excitement to you! Cindy

  12. See Jenna Woginrich’s story about how she got Merlin. “Seek and ye shall find. Ask and it will be given to you”.

Comments are closed.