“I distinctly remember forgetting that.”

Fred has taken over Ben’s suitcase/bed

I went upstairs on Saturday afternoon and found Fred peacefully sleeping in what had been Ben’s bed. I’d noticed Ben downstairs on the couch, but that they had exchanged places (or more likely, Fred just took over Ben’s spot and Ben adjusted accordingly) didn’t occur to me until I was taking their pictures. I love the way that animals adjust to each other….and how we adjust to them.

On Friday morning, I decided to take a drive and as I opened my car door, the smell of cat urine hit me. I’d been leaving my car windows open and usually Esther (who doesn’t want to come inside at night) will end up in there. Well, Ben has been getting in there too, and I guess Esther thought she’d better claim the car as her own.

I was on my way to visit my friend Nancy at the Coop, told her about my car, and she handed me a bottle of Bac-Out that completely removed the smell. I’ll leave the car windows up from now on, but I’m not holding it against either of the cats. I took care of the problem and let it go.

But I wonder;  if a human had sprayed some very unpleasant smelling thing in my car, would I be so quick to forget it? Probably not….but I’d like to think that this is where I am heading spiritually: taking each next step into new life, and with each new step, letting go of any past hurts, problems, regrets, worry or anger. Moving with ease, like a dance, with all of the other beings (human and otherwise) that I am privileged to share this life-experience with.

Clara Barton (founder and president of the American Red Cross) who never bore any grudges, was once reminded by a friend of a wrong done to her some years earlier. “Don’t you remember?” asked her friend. “No,” replied Barton firmly, “I distinctly remember forgetting that.” Taken from September’s Sun Magazine and sent to me by Susan A.

Ben happily moved to the sofa for his nap

Carolyn was the winner of the Blue Moon give-away!

 

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Dissolving the fear in our minds

Luke and his new toy

Luke is our big, long-haired German Shepherd. He is a goofy, loveable guy who makes the most of his life with 6 cats, none of whom want to play with him. He was born different…he didn’t even look like the other puppies in the litter, and by the time he was 6 weeks old, he couldn’t stand on his hind legs, but he was a sweet puppy both in looks and temperament. The breeder was a friend of ours, and offered him to us because he couldn’t be sold. We said yes. It was recommended that we get his hips x-rayed since hip problems can be an issue with shepherds. We didn’t do it.

I knew that if I heard from our vet that Luke had bad hips, I would never be able to get the image out of my mind, and what we imagine and fear, will start to manifest. We decided instead to accept him the way that he was, wiggly hips and all, and only do something medically if he was in pain, which he wasn’t. He will be 4 years old in May.

There is an idea, a belief system, operating in the world that we must prepare for disaster. That worry, fear, and massive amounts of information about every disease, disorder and disaster that could potentially befall us (or those that we love), will help avert those things from coming, and just the opposite is true. What we prepare for, we are making room for, in our lives.

Hyper-vigilance prevents us from being able to listen to the voice within, which is our greatest gift, our best friend. Whether you call that voice the “still small voice of God”, intuition, guidance, guardian angel or gut feeling, it really doesn’t matter, but what does matter is the knowing inside that we can trust ourselves. That if we tune into that “voice”, for direction, we will be guided toward the correct action, toward the lives that we want, instead of the lives that we fear. The Spirit never scares us into action. When I am in-tune with my inner guidance, and I do need to take action about some thing that could end up being a problem, I get a “nudge” that might feel like an unusual thought, and if I don’t listen, it gets more persistent (and this is a good thing), but it doesn’t lead by fear.

“The world we see that seems so insane is the result of a belief system that is not working. To perceive the world differently, we must be willing to change our belief system, let the past slip away, expand our sense of now, and dissolve the fear in our minds“. William James

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Thanksgiving…finding comfort in being ourselves

Esther has no trouble with the idea of; "Sleep until you are hungry, eat until you are sleepy." Anonymous

I was reading a book yesterday and the writer said that she had been, years ago, invited to the Royal palace  for dinner. I always wondered how anyone could feel hungry in such a formal setting with such good (fitted) clothes on. I really appreciate beauty and elegance and would love the idea of being at one of those dinners, but in reality I know that I wouldn’t enjoy the meal nearly as much as one shared in a relaxed, comfortable home, with soft furniture and maybe a wood stove burning in the corner, animals around, possibly a cat on my lap, wearing pants with a stretch-band waist.

I feel grateful for the fabric spandex, and for stretchy waist bands and comfortable furniture, and for a couple of days a year when I feel free to eat without guilt. I also feel grateful for the effort made by people to get together, even when it is a lot of work, and celebrate whatever this day means to them; whether that be connection with family, or friends, or animals, or eating Turkey and watching football, or shopping for Christmas presents, working at a community dinner….whatever makes you happy, I hope you can do it today.

Please feel free to share with us your particular joys; the things that you love, the things that you are grateful for today. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone…my gratitude that you are a part of this community is beyond words.

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curious

Eleanor and Noah playing

I have just about finished my cashmere blanket. The largest surface that I have to work on is the living room floor, so making this blanket has been interesting…I’ve had lost of help! I left a basket of scraps on the floor and when I came back into the room, the cats had knocked it over, pulled out the material, and it became a prop in their game. They are curious about the new material, the scissors, thread, sewing machine. I love living with animals….there is a mini-surprise around almost every corner.

It’s also interesting to watch my own mind and judgements about change and my environment. If Jack had been the one to knock over the basket and was then rearranging the contents, my first reaction would not have been delight! I rarely get angry or even irritated at animals. I don’t judge them or try to figure out their motives and my life with them is peaceful, fun and has an element of daily delight in it….hummmmm.

“I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity“. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Buddha?

Luke in my car

We watched a really wonderful PBS documentary on the life of the Buddha the other night. It wasn’t so much the historical aspect that they were depicting, but the devotional and spiritual. We found it so uplifting. Jane Hirshfield, a Zen Buddhist and a poet, who was one of the commentators throughout the film said something like, “It’s fun to walk down the street and look at “others” and silently ask the question, “Buddha?”….helping us to remember that we are all, under the cover of flesh and bone, pure spirit, pure love, pure goodness. Sometimes it is very obvious. Most times we have to look for it.

This is easy for me to do with animals. Around St. Francis’ birthday, there are ceremonies, in many places called, The Blessing of the Animals. Every time I hear about this it makes me chuckle (just a little) because my first thought is, “They are the ones blessing us!”

“I would look at a dog, and when our eyes met, I realized that the dog and all creatures are my family. They’re like you and me“. Ziggy Marley

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Are you listening Mary?

I first noticed Noah, 9 years ago. It was the summer of 2002 and all I saw was a flash of orange and white darting across Rt. 29 (a very winding and fast road). I knew that it was a cat, but didn’t know anything about him except that he didn’t belong to our neighbors. I started putting bowls of cat food out, but when he saw me, he took off like a shot.  Then one day in November, I noticed him going into a shed behind our house, so I began putting food and water out there. I made him a shelter (a cardboard box padded with towels and old sweaters) and could see after a few days that he was sleeping in it.

One day in January, I was mentioning this to a woman (that I barely knew) and she said, “I have a trap (sort of like a have-a heart) that I will bring to you tomorrow. You need to get him help. This week it’s going to be below zero.  I also have a friend who runs a shelter out of her home. I’ll call her and get everything set up for you to bring him in as soon as you catch him.” I was a little stunned but it felt so right that I just said “OK. Thank you.”

The next day, I coaxed him into the carrier. By this time he trusted me enough to let me get close to him without running away…it even seemed like he was responding to my voice? We drove the hour to the shelter and I sat in the back seat and petted him through the grate. When we arrived, I looked at my hand and it was black with dirt. He hadn’t been able to groom himself, he was just barely staying alive. I felt a huge wave of guilt for not doing something with him earlier.

The woman who took him in said, ” Wow, he’s in rough shape. I’ve never seen an un-neutered cat of this age that didn’t have_______ (some cat disease that I cannot remember the name of),  I’ll get him tested before we neuter him, but I don’t have much hope. If he is OK, do you want to adopt him?”

We said no, we didn’t…. that we already had 2 large dogs and an old cat (Chakra), none of whom liked cats, so we wanted to put him up for adoption. The truth was, I did want to adopt him, but couldn’t see how we would manage it, and Jack was even more skeptical. She said fine, that she would take his picture and put him on the internet if he was good to go. My heart ached a little at that…thinking about putting his picture out there for anyone to respond to, but I didn’t let myself think about it. Then she picked him up and said, “You are pretty dirty, but you are a handsome fellow!” I loved her for that.

Several days past and she called and said that he did not have that disease but that he had a very bad infection in his ears, worms, the whole nine yards. She said he would not have lived through the winter. She also said that after his medication was finished, he would be ready for  adoption, and asked me to pick up the carrier/trap that I left there. I was planning on giving her a donation anyway, so I drove to her home with a bit of a heavy heart. I knocked on the back door and when she didn’t answer, I stuck my head in and said, “Hi____, It’s me, Mary Muncil”….a few seconds later she came to the door and said, “I was out with the cats and as soon as Noah heard your voice, he picked up his head!”

That was it. Those few words. He knew my voice. Every day for weeks, I had been calling to him, as I set out his food, I talked to him when I didn’t see him, never really knowing if I was making much of a connection. I didn’t know where we were going to put him to recover, how I was going to tell Jack, (who was sure that one of the dogs in particular was going to be a problem), how we were going to integrate him with our other animals, but none of that mattered….he knew my voice, and I knew that it was going to be OK.

“Lots of people talk to animals…. Not very many listen, though…. That’s the problem“.   Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

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Are we there yet?

(another fun photograph sent by a friend)

Over the past week, a number of people have emailed me, that they haven’t been getting these posts. Something changed with WordPress and the posts that are coming through, are a different page format also. This has given me pause. When I started writing my blog, I knew nothing about blogs or sites that hosted blogs. I read somewhere that WordPress hosted blogs for free and thought “Great. I’ll sign up with them!” …and I started writing. No one could have been more surprised than me at how this blog, White Feather Farm, has grown, and the community that has developed around it.

I also never dreamed how important it would become to me, never knew, that morning in February, that I would be entering into what I have come to see as my true work (or at least a very big part of it). 25 years ago, I was a graduate student, studying theology and was assigned to Harvey Cox as my first year advisor. In my end of the year evaluation, he wrote, “You should consider a ministry of the pen.” I did consider it, and that was about all, until this past February, when, after being encouraged by my friend Jon, I decided to start.

So here I am, possibly needing to make a financial investment; hiring someone to help me craft a blog website that, when there is a problem, I can call, someone who can help me navigate the technical aspects of working on-line.  I am not blaming WordPress, after all, it is free (and I think staffed by many volunteers). Maybe they have taken me as far as I can go with them, and I must now take a more serious step.

It’s a curious thing, this belief that I will “arrive” at a place where I have all of my ducks in a row, where I understand the task in front of me and can perform it well, everyday, like clock-work, that I will live a predictable life someday with no challenges. I have never sought out this kind of existence, and yet sometimes I still want it. I don’t want to feel lost, even for a minute and yet I know, to live the kind of life that my soul craves, I must.

“Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

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I’m ok

Life is good!

Travelling to cities for me is a big deal and truthfully, I just don’t like them….I want to like them. I want to say how exhilarating it is being in a cultural center, but my entire being is generally saying something different like, “Get me out of here!” There is a line from the movie Shirley Valentine (one of my favorites) where she is out with some girlfriends and they are talking about sex. She says, “I think sex is like supermarkets, you know, overrated. Just a lot of pushing and shoving and you still come out with very little at the end”. I have to admit, this is how I feel about cities.

But I also know that it is important to stay as centered as possible, no matter where I am. I realize that my external circumstances are really far less important than what is going on inside of me. When I am feeling less than good, I need only check to see what I have been thinking and ask myself if I have been mentally critical of people or the situation. If I am walking around thinking how much I don’t like something, then I am not going to have a good experience. I can’t blame anyone or anything outside of myself for that.

At one point during my trip, I was trying to make my way through the crowds, feeling overwhelmed, and saw this little dog just standing with an empty Poland Springs bottle in his mouth. He looked so funny and cute.  I sat down on the steps a few feet away from him and felt happier….it was as if he was saying, “Everything is fine, you’re ok.  Stay centered. Drink some water….or chew on the empty bottle…whatever!”  Animals can be so grounding….such great reminders of what is important; like laughing more and not taking life so seriously.

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trust and forgiveness

I was sitting in a chair a few weeks ago and Fred (one of our cats) jumped up onto my lap and flipped head up (as he usually does) to take a nap. Luke came over to investigate and I loved the way Fred just kept his eyes closed (probably hoping Luke would go away!).

Fred is a most unusual cat. He is very large, talks a lot, and comes when he is called. But what makes him so special is his utter trust and acceptance of other animals and people. He seems to be free of even the instinctual fears that animals have. He always greets people and new animals with enthusiasm.

We named him Fred after the nephew in A Christmas Carole (Scrooge) by Charles Dickens. No matter how poorly Scrooge treats Fred, he comes back with this loving open attitude. We adopted Fred from Second Chance Animal shelter 5 years ago, after someone had seen him being thrown from a moving car. He had brain damage, is partially blind in one eye and cannot find his way home if he gets outside. No one would know this story if I didn’t tell it. Even if Fred could speak (something we could understand), I don’t think he would tell the story. He loves his life. He loves the other animals in our home and us. He has gotten on with living and has left the past behind.

I try to send love to the people who treated him so badly….I sincerely hope that they have gotten some help. You have got to be in a huge amount of pain to do something so awful.  Fred is not carrying resentment. He is a great teacher.

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