Today I’ll find no sorrow….

One of the things that I really want in our new house is a porch…I want to sit and watch the world from the front and back of my house. Yesterday, as Jack and I were riding by one of my all time favorite houses (with a great porch), I commented that I would love to see the inside, and Jack said, “Do you want me to see if Paul is home?”… Paul was home, and was delighted to give us a tour. He had thought about selling, at one point, but now thinks he may keep it. The house is WAY beyond our current means….7 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, gorgeous back yard, wonderful feel, what a treat it was to even think about.

And this morning, I am here in our little 2 bedroom, 1 bath cottage. Writing and  knowing that everything, for today, is as it should be. Thoughts that I should be someplace else, that what I am, or what I have, are not good enough, make me so unhappy and  dissatisfied with life. So, like the words to the song, Looking Out My Backdoor, ” I have to say to my mind sometimes, “Bother me tomorrow, today I’ll find no sorrow…”

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Doing “something” really well…pause…

appreciating the towels!

When Jack and I went to Costa Rica last year, one of the many things that we appreciated was the wonderful care taken, with even the smallest detail, at our hotel. We used to look forward to going back to our room to see what the women who cleaned and tidied it daily, would do with the towels. They were always adorned with fresh flowers and these new, creative creatures looked like happy little critters.

Sometimes, I can get really hard on myself for not doing everything “perfectly” everyday. I expect myself to make a beautiful home, cook great meals, always be available when someone needs me, be 100% patient 1oo% of the time, never have a negative thought, never get my feelings hurt, or become worried and afraid. If I am not aware of it, I can easily overlook the things that I do really well that day, and my life becomes a mad dash to the finish line…of what?…where am I going in such a rush during these times?  To the future where I believe that at some distant moment, I will find fulfillment. Eckhart Tolle talks about this, and says if an alien was dropped onto our planet and watched people on a city sidewalk he/she would think that we were insane, rushing here and there. (I do actually feel a little crazy when I am rushing).

When I slow down (primarily in my mind) and take time to do one thing well and then appreciate that…let that little thing, like making a really good cup of coffee or combing out Luke (our big shaggy dog) be enough for that moment, my entire self takes a deep breath and expands. One little thing done really well, and then a pause….taking time to smell the roses, or fold the towels, or appreciate that someone folded them for me….this is where I want to go.

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