Not so sweet dreams!

Luke with my mitten (he knows that he shouldn’t take socks and mittens but he loves stealing them…and he looks so cute!)

One thing that I try to do right before going to sleep, is read something inspiring, soothing or uplifting. I want the last words that my mind sees, to be of a high quality, and I did this last night as well, but dreamed that I was totally misunderstood by a group of people (who were chasing me and meant me harm!) and woke feeling tired.

The trouble was, I’d spent the hour before going to bed in a state of mild frustration over a computer glitch, and I never totally cleared that irritated energy before going to bed. My internet wasn’t working, a movie that we were planning on watching wasn’t downloaded, and instead of letting go, I gave up in frustration and said to Jack, “I just don’t understand this! It must have been the itune upgrade that I just installed. With every upgrade, it seems like it all changes. It’s like getting in your car and they’ve “upgraded” the radio and moved it!…..” on and on I complained for a good 5 minutes…..even though I know better.

At bedtime, I still felt unsettled but hoped that I could sleep it away, and did my little bit of reading. I woke at 2 a.m with an uncomfortable feeling of tension running through me and then thoughts of an unfinished project (that I hadn’t quite figured out how to do) joined in, along with the thought that I hadn’t given an answer to someone concerning a request…..

All of these things, while relatively small, matched the state of mind that I had before going to sleep and suddenly it felt like I was nothing more than a mass of unfinished, confused, details.

A minute and a half of “positive words” right before sleep, was no match for this bundle of discord that was swirling around inside of me.  A spiritual teacher, Esther Hicks, says this is like putting a happy-face sticker on an empty gas tank…if you don’t fill that tank, you are still going to run out of gas. I can put on a veneer of calm but if I’m not calm and peaceful inside, then I need to work a little longer on clearing the inside feeling to match that outer demeanor.

This is one of the reasons that I love dreams…they always show me where I’m at (whether I want to admit it or not) and help me to be honest with myself so real change and growth can happen.

“Dreams are impartial, spontaneous products of the unconscious psyche, outside the control of the will. They are pure nature; they show us the unvarnished, natural truth, and are therefore fitted, as nothing else is, to give us back an attitude that accords with our basic human nature when our consciousness has strayed too far from its foundations and run into an impasse.”

C. Jung, The Meaning of Psychology for Modern Man” (1933)

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Is there really something wrong with you?

Bodhi prefers to watch the world from underneath the coffee table.

I have been a huge fan of the teachings of Carl Jung since I was in my 30′s. He once said that unless something significant happened in his inner world, he had no memory for place. I was relieved beyond belief to read this since it had always been my experience (and I secretly felt there was something wrong with me). I can remember which countries I’ve visited (since international travel is a big deal for me) but ask me if I’ve been to a particular city, town, or state, and I may draw a blank.

Years ago I took the Myers/Briggs personality test was shocked to find myself and “introvert”. I was also insulted and upset. I (like many people) felt that being an introvert meant I was somehow defective; couldn’t relate to people and should try harder to get out there and mingle for God’s sake!

Our society tends to applaud extroverts, not realizing that the way we process our worlds, and how each of us finds meaning in life, is different. As most of you know, I don’t like labels. I think that they can confine, rather than help, but in this case, it might be different. Could it be possible that you’ve been trying so hard to act like other people, that you havent appreciated the uniqueness of your own being?

During this season of holiday gatherings and parties, if you wish that you could hide under a coffee table with Bodhi, maybe, just maybe, that would be the perfect place for you!

“In my case Pilgrim’s Progress consisted in my having to climb down a thousand ladders until I could reach out my hand to the little clod of earth that I am.” Carl Jung

Noah trying to get Bodhi to come out and play!

 

I’ve included a page from the MyersBriggs website below….and a little “test” for the weekend if you’d like to take it.

Extraversion or Introversion

The first pair of psychological preferences is Extraversion and Introversion. Where do you put your attention and get your energy? Do you like to spend time in the outer world of people and things (Extraversion), or in your inner world of ideas and images (Introversion)? Extraversion and Introversion as terms used by C. G. Jung to explain different attitudes people use to direct their energy. These words have a meaning in psychology that is different from the way they are used in everyday language. Everyone spends some time extraverting and some time introverting. Don’t confuse Introversion with shyness or reclusiveness. They are not related.

Take a minute to ask yourself which of the following descriptions seems more natural, effortless, and comfortable for you?

Extraversion (E)
I like getting my energy from active involvement in events and having a lot of different activities. I’m excited when I’m around people and I like to energize other people. I like moving into action and making things happen. I generally feel at home in the world. I often understand a problem better when I can talk out loud about it and hear what others have to say.

The following statements generally apply to me:

• I am seen as “outgoing” or as a “people person.”

• I feel comfortable in groups and like working in them.

• I have a wide range of friends and know lots of people.

• I sometimes jump too quickly into an activity and don’t allow enough time to think it over.

• Before I start a project, I sometimes forget to stop and get clear on what I want to do and why.

Introversion (I)
I like getting my energy from dealing with the ideas, pictures, memories, and reactions that are inside my head, in my inner world. I often prefer doing things alone or with one or two people I feel comfortable with. I take time to reflect so that I have a clear idea of what I’ll be doing when I decide to act. Ideas are almost solid things for me. Sometimes I like the idea of something better than the real thing.

The following statements generally apply to me:

• I am seen as “reflective” or “reserved.”

• I feel comfortable being alone and like things I can do on my own.

• I prefer to know just a few people well.

• I sometimes spend too much time reflecting and don’t move into action quickly enough.

• I sometimes forget to check with the outside world to see if my ideas really fit the experience.

Adapted from Looking at Type: The Fundamentals
by Charles R. Martin (CAPT 1997)

http://www.myersbriggs.org 

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best friends

Fred

For many years, I was friends with a woman who was funny, smart and interesting. She was also extremely critical.  I never quite knew when this critical part of her would come out. It might be after having a nice lunch, or talk on the phone, but several days later, I’d receive a letter or phone message saying that she was very upset about something that I said or had done (or didn’t say or do). Many times, I had no idea what she was talking about, so I’d be scrambling mentally to figure it out…feeling terrible.  Eventually I let the relationship go. It was just too tiring.

What I also came to see, is that the most relentlessly tiring and critical people were cupcakes compared to the one that lived inside my own head. …talk about never getting a break! If constant self-criticism worked, many of us would be perfect beyond measure, but it doesn’t. I cannot mentally beat myself into being “better” and neither can you. Incessantly looking for defects, just magnifies what is not right, and makes us feel perpetually inferior, afraid and insecure.

If we don’t like this quality in our friendships, why do we accept it in ourselves?

How about taking this weekend to refuse to think critically about yourself? Just for 2 days, treat yourself like you treat your best friend.

We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses. Carl Jung

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