looking for evidence

Eleanor always chooses the most comfortable spots!

The other day, I began imagining that a ball of light-energy was radiating love and good feelings from my center (solar plexus) to everyone that I met. I found that it took quite a bit of effort to keep focused on that image and not let my mind just wander wherever it wanted to go. Later that afternoon, I visited one of my favorite shops and a woman who works there looked up as I entered the store and said, “Hello sunshine!” She has never greeted me, in all of the years that I’ve known her, in that manner.

We are constantly sending out silent signals to the world, they are being received on the energetic level, and everything and everyone is responding, but so often we aren’t really aware of what our emanations (which are made up of our dominate thoughts) are. Petty complaints, worries, arguments, and concerns that flutter through our minds tend to produce unfocused, scattered, or frenetic vibrations, the world responds in kind, and a downward spiral of negative feelings and circumstances seems to follow.

But on a much more encouraging note, if we do our best to keep focused on some higher ideal of love, calm, happiness, or peace, and take it a step further, consciously sending this energy out to others, we will see and feel the result of this, and uplift not only ourselves, but everyone that we meet. We also create an upward spiral; good feelings go out and come back and things in our lives tend to get better and better.

How about giving this a try over the weekend? Choose a thought/feeling that you would love to experience, hold that thought and then as you interact with others, be aware of how they are responding to you. Look for evidence that what you think and feel, really is mirrored back to you.

“Love is an outreaching of the heart…it is an emanation. As you radiate love and goodwill to all, and as you wish riches for (others), you will at the same time bless and prosper yourself. Remember what you wish for another, you wish for yourself, and what you withhold from another, you are with holding from yourself. You are the only thinker in your universe, and your thoughts are creative.” Joseph Murphy

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A good plan and a hair crime

Fred sleeping by my lap top (when I’m writing on the couch, this is where he likes to be)

A while back, I wrote about my 85-year-old mother wanting to get a computer and me nixing the idea. I really couldn’t imagine her learning any new technology (since she has never shown the slightest interest in anything like this before now). Well, she decided she was going to get one and asked Amanda (her granddaughter, my niece) to drive her to the Apple store where she bought an iPad, and had high-speed internet service by the end of the week. 2 days ago, I received the following email from her;

“I don’t know which Mary I have  but Mary daughter. Igot the hair crime  thanks. Love u bye spelling. I’m sending it anyway
Sent from my iPad”

I’d sent her some hair-gel, and she was thanking me. I loved this! When I called her to tell her how funny her message was she said, “I don’t know how I typed ‘hair crime’ but I thought it was funny so I just sent it.”

I’m so glad that I didn’t get involved with her computer buying when she asked me. I think the combination of me telling her that I didn’t think she would do it (which she admitted got her a little fired-up) and her needing to step out on her own and prove to herself that she could do it, have opened doors that wouldn’t have opened if I (or any of her children) had set her up.

Since Amanda was only passing through town, my mom couldn’t depend on her (long-term) either, so she needed to figure things out for herself. She found (and signed up for) a computer class at the senior center, and I know that this will expand her social circle which is another thing that she’s wanted. At 85, my mother is starting to plan her own life and go for what she wants…I’ve never been so happy to be proven wrong.

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” Jim Rohn

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“I distinctly remember forgetting that.”

Fred has taken over Ben’s suitcase/bed

I went upstairs on Saturday afternoon and found Fred peacefully sleeping in what had been Ben’s bed. I’d noticed Ben downstairs on the couch, but that they had exchanged places (or more likely, Fred just took over Ben’s spot and Ben adjusted accordingly) didn’t occur to me until I was taking their pictures. I love the way that animals adjust to each other….and how we adjust to them.

On Friday morning, I decided to take a drive and as I opened my car door, the smell of cat urine hit me. I’d been leaving my car windows open and usually Esther (who doesn’t want to come inside at night) will end up in there. Well, Ben has been getting in there too, and I guess Esther thought she’d better claim the car as her own.

I was on my way to visit my friend Nancy at the Coop, told her about my car, and she handed me a bottle of Bac-Out that completely removed the smell. I’ll leave the car windows up from now on, but I’m not holding it against either of the cats. I took care of the problem and let it go.

But I wonder;  if a human had sprayed some very unpleasant smelling thing in my car, would I be so quick to forget it? Probably not….but I’d like to think that this is where I am heading spiritually: taking each next step into new life, and with each new step, letting go of any past hurts, problems, regrets, worry or anger. Moving with ease, like a dance, with all of the other beings (human and otherwise) that I am privileged to share this life-experience with.

Clara Barton (founder and president of the American Red Cross) who never bore any grudges, was once reminded by a friend of a wrong done to her some years earlier. “Don’t you remember?” asked her friend. “No,” replied Barton firmly, “I distinctly remember forgetting that.” Taken from September’s Sun Magazine and sent to me by Susan A.

Ben happily moved to the sofa for his nap

Carolyn was the winner of the Blue Moon give-away!

 

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Wouldn’t it be interesting if….

The new cat bed..with Ben inside

When we returned home from Mexico, I unpacked my small suitcase and stuck it on top of the dresser. I had planned on putting it away (but am never very fast about that kind of stuff) and the next thing I knew, Ben had found his new favorite place to sleep.

Each time I looked at it, I would think, “I need to put that suitcase away and clean off all the cat hair, dirt and assorted other unidentifiable things, before it is ruined” (since in addition to sleeping in it, this became Ben’s chosen place to “clean up” after a rough night outside roaming the hills).

The furry, dirty suitcase was not bothering Ben but it seemed like it was saying to me, “You are an unorganized and undisciplined person Mary and here is the evidence.” I know enough not to keep something in front of me that makes me feel bad, and yet the only option seemed to be to clean it up and put it away….like that was the “responsible” thing to do… after all, a suitcase is for travel and was not made for cats to sleep in. But who makes these rules, that I think I should follow, and feel bad about when I don’t?

I grabbed an old silk scarf, draped it over the suitcase and now I’m short one suitcase (which I only used, at most, once a year) and Ben has gained a permanent napping spot… and we are both delighted about it!

Trust that little voice in your head that says “Wouldn’t it be interesting if…”  And then do it.  ~Duane Michals (American Photographer)

(a funny little aside here…I always read my posts to Jack before they go out into the world, and when I read him this quote, he said, “I know Duane quite well…he visits my store almost every Sunday during the summer months!”)

Weekend Challenge (for all who choose to take it!):  Think about one area of your life that has been troubling you (that you have labeled as “wrong”) and ask your Higher Self to see it through new eyes….ask to see the good in it, that you may have missed in your rush to get it “cleaned up”.

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The healing power of Love..making new memories

Eleanor and Jack

Jack sat down with a cup of coffee the other day, and Eleanor jumped onto his lap and then put her face close to his face, like she’s done since she was a tiny kitten. Eleanor was a “breakthrough” cat for Jack. When I met him, even though he really liked cats, he said that he had a big problem with their fur getting into his eyes and causing irritation. He was OK with a cat in the house, but had an allergic reaction every time he petted or held one, so he simply resisted the urge to touch them.

Eleanor, an abandoned newborn kitten, was only a few days old when we took her home and she needed a lot of one-on-one attention from us both. Jack had to hold her to feed her, and soon she was nuzzling his beard. He was so in love with her, that he just let her do it, and even though he was afraid he’d have a negative reaction, he wanted her affection more than he feared the result, and as a result, he never had an allergic reaction again to her, or any of our other cats.

Love is a powerful force. I’ve read so many heroic stories of people doing “impossible” things when they chose love over fear; chose a new and brighter life over a limited and dull past. If a memory brings a feeling of love and happiness, depth and warmth, it is expanding our present and our future. But if a memory is full of despair, sadness, regret, loss, and unhappiness, it is limiting our lives and our futures. Today, I am choosing to look at all of life; past, present and future through the eyes of Love.

Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory it too good. Friedrich Nietzsche

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the power of belief

Bodhi relaxing on the radiator

At some point in my life, I started to believe that I wasn’t any good with plants. I don’t remember how it began, but it ended up with me not having any house plants at all. If offered one, I’d politely refuse it saying that the cats ate them. If I received one as a gift, I always tried to re-gift it quickly before I killed it. A number of months ago, I was walking through the farmer’s market and saw a gorgeous cactus. The woman selling it assured me that the only thing that would be death for this plant was too much water. I figured that I could handle not watering it. As I tried to get it into my car, I grabbed it, and spent much of the next hour picking spikes out of my hands.

I won’t get into the “Getting a thousand thorns in my hands” episode again, but since the day of my purchase, the cactus has been sitting on a window sill in my office. It hadn’t died, but it hadn’t grown either. I didn’t feel happy when I looked at it. It was a bit like a white elephant; sort of cool but not wanted by anyone either. When friends would visit the office, I’d try to give it away and I usually heard either, “No thanks”, or “When you move, if you don’t want it I’ll take it”. No one seemed enthusiastic about it and I didn’t blame them.

Then one day a couple was in my office, and the man walked over and started looking at the cactus. As he looked at it, I could see his genuine interest. He stood there quietly for a couple of minutes and finally I asked him if he would like it. He didn’t hesitate at all. We arranged to meet again in a month for the pick up. After they left, I found myself saying to the cactus, “Well, you are going to a good home. A place where you will be loved.” Within days it started “budding”.

I heard a minister on the radio a while back, talking about a plant in her house. She said that every time she looked at one of the branches, she thought, “I need to cut that off”. She never did cut it, but noticed one day that the branch was dead. In that same talk she told about shopping with her daughter and how she kept thinking that her daughter didn’t look good (had a bad-hair day or something). After a few hours together, her daughter actually said that she didn’t feel good and the trip was cut short. Her mother made the connection between her thoughts and the life around her.

I made the connection too.

“People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong. Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?”  Thich Nhat Hanh

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Missed the boat?

Noah: the Zen kitty

A friend sent me a slide show last night of 50 photographs (the link is below). The images that I loved the most, were the ones that were not posed or trying to be dramatic; they just were. For a large part of my life, I have had the feeling that I should be something different than I was. When I was younger, I thought I wasn’t old enough to be respected and successful, and then I seemed to cross some line and started thinking that I was too old; that I had somehow missed the boat.

The idea that we are perfect just as we are, right now, and that our lives have been perfect, is something that I have recently started considering. What if everything has been right? What if there were no mistakes? What would my life feel like if I stopped blaming anyone (even myself…especially myself) for not being good enough (smart enough, ambitious enough, thin enough, wise enough, relaxed enough, focused enough, vigilant enough, disciplined enough….), and just said, “From now on, I am going to look for the perfection of life; in myself, in everyone and everything around me.”

You are not too late. You are not too early. You are right on time to live your perfect life now!

Click this link to look at some gorgeous photography that was sent to me (I don’t know who the photographers are but if you do, please let me know) foto12

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an inventory; re-labeling my life

Noah and Luke

None of our cats have loved getting attention from Luke, but Noah has always been really afraid of him. Yesterday was different. I looked over and saw Luke licking Noah’s head, and my first reaction was to shoo him away, but as I waited a second, I realized that Noah was enjoying it. Something changed, something became easier between them and I was about to stop it because it didn’t fit the pattern that I was used to, even though that pattern wasn’t that great.

Negatively labeling people is such a bad habit. It tends to restrict their future behaviour, at least in my eyes,  to only what they have done in the past. It is like taking an expansive, multidimensional being and stuffing them into a little, neat box so I can make sense of their behaviour (even when I don’t like it!). They also tend to start showing me only that face, only the traits that fit the label, because that is what I expect.

It’s not the same with positive labels. Somehow even the words, “She is a lovely person”, she is kind, he is generous, he is open-minded…” feel different. I want to give to the world my best, and to call forth the best from others. Maybe this would be a good weekend to do an inventory; to look at all of the labels that I have stuck on people (me included), places, situations and animals, dust them off, and re-label them with words that hold high, positive and expansive energy.

“Once you label me you negate me“. Soren Kierkegaard

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Make a decison..then let it go

Fred in the cat pen

We knew that Fred had certain challenges when we adopted him, but were not aware that he didn’t have the ability to find his way home. After 2 very long absences, we realized that if we let him outside, chances were, he would get lost, so we constructed a “cat pen” for him. At first, I felt some guilt that his quality of life wasn’t as good as our other cats, who can come in and out as they please, but my quality of life was greatly diminished by the thought of him wandering around in the wilderness, so I had to make the decision to limit his range, for both his safety and my peace of mind.

Guilt and self-doubt are corrosive energies, and when I feel them, I look at the situation that I am feeling bad over, see if I can make a better decision now, and if not, I drop it. I did this with Fred.  Every time the thought that his life was not as great as our other cats, came up, I said to myself, “I am done with that thought. Fred has the perfect life for him.” Eventually my feelings lined up with this new thought.

After I have made a decision, I do what ever I need to (prayer, affirmations, meditation) to get it out of my conscious mind. If I don’t do this, I’ll start feeling like there is a ping-pong match inside my brain, until I end up with a whopping headache and feel incompetent to make a move lest it be the wrong one. Constantly second-guessing our decisions, and our lives, leaves us feeling unstable, fearful and insecure.  I have enough confidence in the Spirit of Life, that if a better way, than the one that I have chosen, (regarding any situation) is available, I will be shown.

“When once a decision is reached, dismiss absolutely all responsibility and care about the outcome.” William James

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Getting REAL

Noah helping to wrap the presents

I woke up at 1 a.m. feeling somewhat tense, and decided to read a little from a book by Neville Goddard, that I have at my bedside. I opened to a random page and read,

“What you are inwardly saying and doing is far more important than what you outwardly know or express. …most of the things that you whisper (think to yourself) are negative…” (pp. 169-170 Immortal Man).

I put the book down, closed my eyes and imagined the day that had just happened. Even though it was so much fun; laughing and eating with my family, I found I was thinking critical thoughts about myself. Often, I will catch myself doing this during the day, and try to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones, but when there is a lot going on, I can be unaware of my inner critical thoughts until I go to sleep and wake up in the night feeling bad.

This is a very old pattern, and it doesn’t help (at all) to start criticising myself for still struggling with this, it just makes it worse. So instead I thought, “What affirmative words could I say/think to improve my feelings about myself NOW!?” I wanted something simple, that I could remember in a pinch, and the thought to use affirmations that spell out the word REAL,  just popped into my head. I started thinking the affirmations below, and fell into a peaceful sleep and woke up happy!

I am Respected, I am Emanating happy vibrations, I am Appreciated, I am Loved.

Remember to be kind to yourselves today everyone, and maybe give this affirmation a try. Also, if you would like to post an affiirmation that you like and one that has helped you, please do!

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