Freedom

The beautiful work of Carolyn Abrams, this painting is named, "Freeing Her Spirit" http://www.carolynabrams.com

Years ago, I read an essay on aging, and the importance of finding our “freedom” at mid-life. The gist of this writing was that anything we felt was hampering us, we should leave behind, and move out into the world. At one point it said something like, get rid of your cat if that is the thing keeping you from this adventure. I would have believed that message 30 years ago, maybe 2o years ago….

What I have come to see, and know, is that it isn’t the outside stuff that hampers us, it is our thoughts. In my mid-forties, I gave away almost everything I owned to go work in a mission. I was trying to find inner freedom by stepping out of the “material” world. I blamed possessions, and the desire for them, for much of my inner turmoil and the troubles of the world. I wanted to devote myself to a higher calling and thought this was a part of becoming more spiritual.

It was a rude (very necessary) awakening. Having nothing doesn’t make you more spiritual, peaceful, happy or free. It doesn’t make you more helpful to those who feel disempowered and unable to earn a living. Freedom, at any age, comes from a change of attitude. This is the real mid-life call. The call to go inside and find the infinite within ourselves. To find peace and presence right here; in this house, with this car (or cars), these animals, friends, partner, or work, and not to blame them for our feelings of imprisonment. This is the real freedom.

“…the last of human freedoms, to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances….“. Viktor Frankl

A friend (thank you Judith!) send me a beautiful story and video yesterday about a baby bird that was found. At first, they needed to feed him every 20 minutes, but far from feeling like this experience was restricting, I felt the expansion in it…in them.

Baby Bird Cradled in My Hands

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The Best or the Worst. The choice is mine?

I attended a workshop Tuesday evening and at the break, I was standing on the porch listening to a rather loud discussion by a couple of the other participants. One woman was saying, “This is the worst workshop that I have ever been to. There is nothing new being presented!” (she had just asked for a refund…which she did receive, and was leaving),  and another woman replied, “I think this is the best workshop that I have ever attended…..”

I have been in plenty of situations where people have had very different reactions to something, but this may have been the most pronounced. Neither of these women were new to the information, but it was clear that the woman who thought it was the best, was open to more than just the information being presented. She was enjoying the entire experience.

The woman who was leaving, looked like someone you might avoid if you met her on the street. Her face was hard and her mouth tight. She looked ready for a fight. She didn’t leave peacefully, with the attitude, “Well, this is just not for me, so I am leaving, but I hope that you enjoy it.” Even on her way out, she was trying to convince others that it was awful too.

She had made up her mind that the evening was a waste, and so that is what it became to her. Even though she had gotten her money back, and  had only spent an hour of her time in the workshop, she was still angry….. suffering because of her attitude, not because of the workshop. It is really easy to see this in someone else…not so much when it is me. Witnessing these two women was a powerful reminder that I alone choose my attitude and that my attitude will ultimately determine how much I enjoy my life.

“You will not be punished for your anger. You will be punished by your anger.” (quote attributed to the Buddha)

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