Who do you think you are…and did you know that you could change it?!

Bodhi under our coffee table

Last summer I was invited to a party that I felt more like an intimate family gathering, but I accepted because I didn’t want to appear rude and ungrateful, and yet even upon arriving, I felt somewhat like an outsider. To my absolute horror, a few minutes into the event, I overheard the host saying something, that had the tone of, “Why is she here?”

My feelings were hurt, but I know that nothing comes into my life without me attracting it, and as painful as this was to witness, what I “overheard” was a match to what I had been thinking and feeling about myself  before the event. I was the one feeling like I didn’t belong, and then that uncomfortable thought came out of the mouth of someone else. A part of me wanted to defend myself on the spot and say, “Hey I was invited and I didn’t even really want to come!” but I didn’t do it.

The conversation that needed to happen was with myself. Our imagination is such an important and powerful tool.  But like any tool, we can use it to imagine ourselves as rejected, unloved and small or, we can envision ourselves accepted, loved and expansive.

How do we really know what we are thinking/imagining? It shows up as the people, circumstances and events of our lives…there is just no getting around this spiritual truth. People see us the way we, deep down, see ourselves.

“We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them“. Numbers 13:33

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waking up to a new life

Bodhi on one of the new red/orange velvet chairs

One day last week, I was passing by a little second-hand store in Cambridge, and saw these two old velvet chairs. They were stuffed with down, soft and squishy (my idea of perfect furniture). They’re even a little hard to get out of, which invites relaxation. When I got them home, I sat in one and imagined that they were once owned by a happy, fun couple. I could see us (I had joined them in my mind) sitting around with friends, laughing and eating (of course!).

Theodore Geisel (Dr. Seuss) once said, “Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living….it wakes up the brain cells…” I have been “playing” with my imagination lately, more like when I was a child, and while this is just plain fun to do, I can also feel it changing me. Something powerful happens when we imagine ourselves, and our lives, in a different way; people, places and things, that we thought were so fixed and solid, begin to change in response to our thought.

I had my coat on Saturday, literally walking out the door, when I had the idea to invite some good friends over for dinner. It felt like the idea just blew in on the wind. I ran it by Jack and he said, “I love it!” Even though this sounds like such a small deal to many, to us it was a huge change. Years of anxiety that our home was too small, and that our cats were too much (for others!), changed in a moment.

That evening we were sitting in our living room, in the new chairs, having the most beautiful, relaxing time imaginable, and even though I never think of our friend Jon as a cat person, he said after that he really enjoyed Fred, who joined us for the meal.

Let’s begin to imagine the lives that we really want to be living, start to play with our wonderful, creative imaginations, and let Life open up even more!

“People who lean on logic, philosophy, and rational exposition end by starving the best part of the mind.” William Butler Yeats

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Heading in the right direction

A week ago, I noticed a red spot on Noah’s head. The day before Thanksgiving, it had turned into a large, uncomfortable-looking open sore. I had no idea what it was and suddenly I was having visions of creepy diseases, painful and expensive visits to the vet, oral and topical antibiotics, all of the other cats (and myself of course) catching it too, and our home turning into a mini leper colony. The mind is a scary place when left unchecked!

Happily for all of us, I did catch myself (eventually), and started to say out loud, “This is going to be easy to heal. I know that the perfect solution will present itself and all is well.” That afternoon, I had the idea to put some ointment on it. By the next morning, it looked worse. It is really a challenge, when I am looking at something that scares me, to see the outcome that I want to happen, and “turn a blind eye” to the situation that is staring me in the face (while still treating it). But I kept up my positive talk and refused to let my mind go down the path of doom, disease and disaster. I finally saw improvement on Saturday morning and today it looks much better.

When my mind was mired in fear, the simple solution (of trying the ointment that I already had at home) didn’t present itself. A more relaxed, easy and hopeful mind allowed a simple, easy solution to “surface”.

“Turn a blind eye and a deaf ear every now and then, and we get on marvellously well.”                                                                          Martha Wilmot

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