May my heart always be open

A bluebird on our "church" bird house this morning

It sometimes surprises people when they find out that I don’t go to church. I have gone to many churches, and attended many different religious/spiritual celebrations, services, and rituals, and I find my deepest feeling of connection comes from silent, alone time. Sometimes this is outside in nature, but often it is sitting with my first cup of coffee at 5 am, in the living room, listening to the cats eating their breakfast, meditating on the goodness of this life.

Whatever “place” you choose to be in this weekend, may it be one of deep peace and connection to the Love that is who you are.

MAY MY HEART ALWAYS BE OPEN  by e.e. cummings

may my heart always be open to little
birds who are the secrets of living
whatever they sing is better than to know
and if men should not hear them men are old

may my mind stroll about hungry
and fearless and thirsty and supple
for even if it’s sunday may i be wrong
for whenever men are right they are not young

and may myself do nothing usefully
and love yourself so more than truly
there’s never been quite such a fool who could fail
pulling all the sky over him with one smile

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Yes to life

Our tree

Monday afternoon we bought our Christmas tree and as soon as we got it home and up, we both noticed that it looked pale. Then we realized that the needles were falling off at an alarmingly fast rate. It was obviously a tree that had been cut for a while, and we felt bad about it, like we had done something wrong; we were in too much of a hurry, we should have looked at more trees, why didn’t we notice its color at the tree farm?

Tuesday morning we had a talk and decided that we either had to get a new tree, or think about this one in a new way. I wasn’t about to go through the next 3 weeks feeling disappointed every time I looked at our tree. But more important than that, I have come to see that disappointment is a low-vibrational energy and even when it starts as something so small as this, if I don’t catch it, pretty soon other things in my life will start looking bad. Maybe Jack and I will get into a fight over leaving the milk out, and then I’ll remember that a friend said she’d loan me a book and didn’t, and I’ll think that maybe she’s not that great a friend and feel bad about that, then I’ll notice that I have had a nagging headache and wonder if I have a big disease that I have been ignoring….on and on, the little negative thoughts will creep in and edge out the delight of this day, until it all looks as dull as the little tree.

I went for a run, which is a really good place for me to get clear, and decided to think good thoughts about the tree on purpose. I started saying,  ”This is the most beautiful tree ever. I love our tree.”  I felt better. When I got home, I was arranging some loose evergreens and had the thought, “Why not insert boughs of different trees into it?” I’ve always loved wreathes that were made of a variety of evergreens but never thought to add them to our Christmas tree.

I went outside with Luke and started taking branches from all of the different kinds in our yard; white pine, blue spruce, cedars with little cones on them. I had a blast and came inside and started putting them into our tree. The more I put in, the brighter, greener, and fuller it looked, until I thought, “This is the most beautiful tree that we have ever had. Why didn’t I think of this in past years?!”

A friend of Jack’s came by Tuesday afternoon and said, “That is a gorgeous tree. What kind is it?”                  I thought, “It is a ‘collection of good thoughts’ tree!”

“I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes“. e.e. cummings

the TED talk below was sent to me yesterday by Jonne. It is so wonderful and uplifting. It is 10 minutes long and even if you don’t have the time to watch it…do it anyway. You will be very grateful that you did!

http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/TEDxSF-Louie-Schwartzberg-Grati/player?layout=&read_more=1

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Courage

An affirmation card by Louise Hay (affirmations can be a great way to start to uncover our magnificent selves!)

My mother ran into a woman, several months ago, that I had taken care of when I was a nurse (another part of my story!). She told my mother that I had been her nurse when she had a miscarriage, and that what I said to her, was a comfort and gave her hope. I felt flooded with gratitude that something I said, all those years ago, made a positive difference.

Nursing wasn’t my calling, and I only worked as one for a few years in my early 20′s. What I did love was talking with my patients, listening to what was happening in their lives, offering some thoughts. I never thought of this (talking) as a “gift”. As a matter of fact, I went through periods of my life where I tried not to talk, feeling that it was a defect of character.

How many times do we think that what we have to offer is no big deal? Even worse than that, the very thing that makes us unique, we try to stifle or hide because someone close to us said that they didn’t like or appreciate it, and so we too begin to see ourselves as defective, and try to conform to an image that is more “acceptable” to others, leaving the “original us” hidden deep inside.

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are“.  e.e. cummings

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