Emphatic trifles

I really needed these!*

I’ve carved out time, over the next month and a half to finish up something that I’ve been working on, and have given myself the deadline of September 1st. Even though I’m ahead of schedule, I feel like I need to pull up a new level of focus and commitment, because the closer I get, the more I seem to find other things that need my immediate attention.

Like the other day, I was all set to work for 3 hrs; had my tea, fed the cats, went to the bathroom, turned off my phone, and then I picked up an old issue of O magazine and was going to put it on the shelf, but just glanced at it, noticed this set of knives and thought, “I’ve never had sharp knives. I need to check these out now.” After quite a search, and reading a lot of reviews on Amazon, I decided I should buy them….now, of course. If the internet had been around when Emerson was writing, I’m sure he would have added, “surfing the net”,  to his list of “emphatic trifles”.

“At times the whole world seems to be in conspiracy to importune you with emphatic trifles. Friend, client, child, sickness, fear, want, charity, all knock at once at thy closet door and say, “Come out unto us.”….. The power men possess to annoy me I give them by a weak curiosity. No man can come near me but through my act.” From the essay, “Self-reliance”, Ralph Waldo Emerson

* the knives arrived a few days later, and even though this isn’t at all the point of this post, I do like them a lot. They’re  called, Pure Komachi 2, (and they really are sharp, which Jack can attest to since he’s already cut himself)

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Dipped in God

A friend sent this photograph last evening and I just loved it!

I used to go to bed at night, letting my mind wander all over the place until I finally fell into a restless, fitful sleep. In those days, I always woke up still feeling tired. Sleep was necessary, but not refreshing or renewing. The more I began to focus my mind, especially right before I fell asleep, on good thoughts, the better I felt in the morning. Then I started to notice that important thoughts; new ideas and solutions to issues that I had been wrestling with, were almost being “presented” to me while I slept.

It’s odd that this part of us, the need for sleep, is looked upon by so many as a necessary evil. If we can’t figure out why we need the amount of sleep that seems to be right for us individually, then we somehow label it a weakness. I’ve heard people say with pride that they only needed 4 hours of sleep a night. As if the more hours we stay awake and alert, the better we are.

Something very important happens during sleep…some connection that is vital to our well-being in a way that is beyond scientific, rational explanation. But to reap the benefits, we need to drop the worries and concerns of the day and turn our selves over to the great healing and renewing power that is waiting for us, just below our conscious minds.

And if tonight my soul may find her peace in sleep, and sink in good oblivion, and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created.  D. H Lawrence

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Our hopeful songs

a bluebird in our back yard last evening...he is singing his song hoping to attract a mate!

Worry is such a waste of our lives. Trying to figure out how to deal with things that might be a problem in the future, is taking a step in the direction of creating the very situations that will have to be dealt with (if they do occur). Worrying about tomorrow also takes the life out of today. What is there to be hopeful about right now? What is good about this moment?

Some of your hurts you have cured,
And the sharpest you still have survived,
But what torments of grief you endured
From the evil which never arrived.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

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Time for new conversations

The other day, Jack and I were having a conversation (well really, I was talking and he was listening) about the family that I grew up in. I started to say something like, “You know how hard it has been for me, not ever really feeling accepted…” I stopped myself mid-sentence and said out loud, “This is an old habit. I get along well with the majority of my family members don’t I?” Jack shook his head yes.

When I’m not feeling great, I have noticed that a lot of the conversations in my head center around not being understood, or liked, or appreciated by others. I’m the one, that is not appreciating myself,  but because I’m not aware of it, I think that I’m surrounded by others who feel this way. It sounds so pitiful to say out loud, much less to put in writing, but recognizing, catching, and changing these thoughts, and useless mental conversations, is the most important thing that we can do to change our lives for the better.

“Man has a peculiar, strange feeling, a little affection for the feeling of being unwanted or being hurt, and he likes to talk about it. Try to get out of this habitual state.”  Neville Goddard, from his lecture, “Three Propositions”

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A special enterprise of God

Esther greeting me yesterday afternoon...she has an intense interest in cars.

I went to the eye doctor yesterday. I had broken a blood vessel in the same place last October and it seemed too odd not to have it checked out by someone who knew more about eyes than I did. I liked the doctor that examined me from the moment I met him. He was calm, thoughtful and was confident in a quiet way. I asked him why he chose Ophthalmology as a profession, and he told me a little bit about his own journey of having very poor vision as a child, spending lots of time with eye doctors, and his intense interest in how eyes and the brain function, which ultimately led him to this work.

So many of us have been taught that it is wrong to think well of ourselves and to have confidence in our abilities; that true humility is never admitting that we know something, always questioning ourselves, keeping quiet so we don’t seem boastful, but this is no more humble or helpful than spouting off constantly about our “greatness”. Each one of us is unique and special. We are here to bring that quality to light and then to help others by bringing it to the world.

I love the words of Emmet Fox, “…you are a special enterprise on the part of God…” So, maybe for this weekend, ask yourself the question, What has my journey led me to love, and how can I start to appreciate this aspect of myself more?

“The world will take you at your own valuation. Your body will take you at your own valuation. Your business will take you at your own valuation; for the value that you put on upon yourself is the one that manifests. … Nature always takes you at your own valuation. …Believe that you express Life, Truth, Love. Believe that Wisdom guides you. Believe that you are a special enterprise on the part of God – and what you really believe, that you will demonstrate“. Emmet Fox pp. 170 Find and Use Your Inner Power

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Internal compass

smiling sky...today

I visited my mother yesterday who has been ill for a couple of weeks. When I first saw her, I felt alarmed. She  looked scared; her skin was grey and she had  huge dark circles under her eyes. She hadn’t wanted me to visit but when I insisted, I think that she was relieved. Toward the end of the visit, she just happened to mention that the person doing her taxes was very concerned about a large chunk of money that seemed to be missing. They found the issue a couple of weeks ago and told her that they would get back to her but she hadn’t heard anything and had not called them either.

I asked her what she had done about this and she said that she was using “positive thinking” and every time she thought about it, she got so sick to her stomach that she wasn’t thinking about it.  She hadn’t really been able to eat in a couple of weeks. I realized as we talked that she had been so frightened about this tax issue, that it was compounding her illness. I asked her if she would mind if I made a call to a friend who is a CPA and then my mother herself, made a call to the tax preparers. I looked over at her talking on the phone, while I made her a quiche, and I could see the color returning to her face. She called last night to say that she was feeling much better. Nothing about the tax issue has been resolved yet but she wasn’t afraid anymore.

Positive thinking is not ignoring feelings. It is not just repeating rote affirmations over and over, while underneath feeling terror. It is acknowledging the feelings, and working to change them before we take action. I always ask myself the question, “What thought can I think right now about this situation that would make me feel better?” and then I stay with it until I actually feel the change. As I begin to feel better, either the solution (or next step for me to take) presents itself or the problem seems to dissolve. Sometimes I need to take action, sometimes I don’t, but either way, I never ignore my feelings. They are my internal compass, letting me know if I am going in the right direction.

“Success comes from taking the initiative and following up… persisting… eloquently expressing the depth of your love. What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life?” Tony Robbins

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Heavenly blessings

Fred on the clean cover

Last week, I was lying down on the couch talking with my sister on the phone, and about 5 minutes into our chat, I noticed that my sweater felt damp. I reached behind me and felt my back, and then the couch, and realized with some minor horror that both were wet. Obviously, one of the cats had thrown up, mostly water, but it had soaked a large part of the cover, a cushion, and the couch underneath.

My first reaction, when things like this happen, is to go to worst case scenarios: something is seriously wrong with one of the cats, the cover will be ruined, the couch will always smell. These kind of thoughts; ones that escalate a situation, are always accompanied by a feeling of panic. In the moment, they create a chaotic atmosphere and make every little thing into a crisis. If left unchecked, they start drawing other negative thoughts and circumstances into my life. I wish that I could go instantly to a calm, accepting feeling inside when something like this happens, but generally that is not the case. Usually I notice how bad I suddenly feel, and this is my signal to change my thoughts.

A tool that I learned to use, years ago, and one that I must say, always works, is to simply say (and keep repeating), “Thank you”, when I feel overwhelmed. As I did this the other day, while at the same time removing the cover and taking the cushions apart, I could feel an inner “OKness” come over me. I caught the negative before it made a miserable atmosphere in my home. I ended up feeling wonderful and now have a clean and good smelling couch cover. Jack walked in later that day and said, “That couch looks brighter. What did you do to it?”

Just saying thank you, even when you don’t feel grateful in the moment, seems to unlock a spiritual door inside. It turns things around, sometimes so quickly, that the thing that seemed awful, can suddenly reveal a hidden gift.

The unthankful heart… discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!  Henry Ward Beecher

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