Don’t bug me

bugs on the screen

I saw this pair of insects on the screen door last week.  At that moment, I’d been wondering if there was anything more that I should be doing about a certain situation in my life; was I missing some step that I should be taking? Was there anything that I should be doing that I’d overlooked?. But what I was really feeling/asking was, “How can I hurry things along here?!”

So when I saw these insects and thought,  ”I wonder what this means?’ and the instant reply was, “Don’t bug me. I know what you want and things are moving along at the right speed, even though you think it should be faster”, this made me laugh out loud.

In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don’t. Blaise Pascal

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Slowing myself down: Setting in motion the creative forces of the Universe

My niece Mary's dog, Jade, sleeping on our couch after playing hard with Luke

My day unexpectedly opened up on Monday, and I decided to take a ride to Middlebury VT, (a town we are thinking about moving to) just look around and get a feel for it. It was a fluke of a warm day here (almost 90 degrees) and the drive was like heaven. I arrived in town and started slowly driving up and down every street. I didn’t want to miss anything.

After about an hour, I started to get tense and tired. It was hot, and I was in an unfamiliar town (which has traffic…a thing I’m not used to!). I pulled over and took a deep breath and reminded myself that I would be guided and shown what I needed to see, if I could relax and get out of my head, and into my heart. I never used to be able to stop myself like this. The more wound-up or frustrated I felt, the more I would try to DO SOMETHING to change it. That usually ended up in an escalation of the chaotic feelings until things got worse; either I made some rash decision, or crashed from emotional exhaustion….a tiring way to live at any age, but the older I get, the more I feel the negative effects of out-of-control emotions.

When I get excited about something, I have a tendency to want to “make it happen” and I know the reason for this is that I temporarily forget that I’m not in this (thing called my life) alone, and think that if I don’t figure it out, it won’t happen. I think that I know how it should happen, and forget that I don’t really ever get to see the big picture….this is where faith comes in.

It is a thrilling thought, that the Spirit of Life wants me (wants us all) to have a big, abundant, happy, loving, fulfilling life experience, but I notice that on a pretty regular basis, I need to be reminded that faith in this spiritual Truth is the real door-opener.

After my short period of “remembering”, I slowly drove up a hill into a lovely residential area that turned out to be a dead-end. I was turning around, just as a man was walking out of his driveway. He smiled, and looked at me like he thought I might be lost and in need of help. I told him that we were hoping to move to Middlebury and he said, “I don’t think there is anything for sale, at the moment, in this neighborhood, but a really nice old colonial home in town, just came on the market a few days ago and I can give you directions. I hadn’t known about the house he mentioned.

I did a drive by and it was the nicest and most “perfect for us” looking place that I have seen so far. I wondered, as I got home later in the day, if I would have dove-tailed with that friendly, helpful man, if I had been all stressed out and rushing? I don’t think so. I don’t believe that our energies would have matched. My little time of slowing down actually moved things along so much faster because I was working with the energy of the Divine (which always has the big picture and never rushes!)

“There is a basic law that like attracts like. Negative thinking definitely attracts negative results. Conversely, if a person habitually thinks optimistically and hopefully, his positive thinking sets in motion creative forces – and success instead of eluding him, flows toward him.” Norman Vincent Peale

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Dissolving the fear in our minds

Luke and his new toy

Luke is our big, long-haired German Shepherd. He is a goofy, loveable guy who makes the most of his life with 6 cats, none of whom want to play with him. He was born different…he didn’t even look like the other puppies in the litter, and by the time he was 6 weeks old, he couldn’t stand on his hind legs, but he was a sweet puppy both in looks and temperament. The breeder was a friend of ours, and offered him to us because he couldn’t be sold. We said yes. It was recommended that we get his hips x-rayed since hip problems can be an issue with shepherds. We didn’t do it.

I knew that if I heard from our vet that Luke had bad hips, I would never be able to get the image out of my mind, and what we imagine and fear, will start to manifest. We decided instead to accept him the way that he was, wiggly hips and all, and only do something medically if he was in pain, which he wasn’t. He will be 4 years old in May.

There is an idea, a belief system, operating in the world that we must prepare for disaster. That worry, fear, and massive amounts of information about every disease, disorder and disaster that could potentially befall us (or those that we love), will help avert those things from coming, and just the opposite is true. What we prepare for, we are making room for, in our lives.

Hyper-vigilance prevents us from being able to listen to the voice within, which is our greatest gift, our best friend. Whether you call that voice the “still small voice of God”, intuition, guidance, guardian angel or gut feeling, it really doesn’t matter, but what does matter is the knowing inside that we can trust ourselves. That if we tune into that “voice”, for direction, we will be guided toward the correct action, toward the lives that we want, instead of the lives that we fear. The Spirit never scares us into action. When I am in-tune with my inner guidance, and I do need to take action about some thing that could end up being a problem, I get a “nudge” that might feel like an unusual thought, and if I don’t listen, it gets more persistent (and this is a good thing), but it doesn’t lead by fear.

“The world we see that seems so insane is the result of a belief system that is not working. To perceive the world differently, we must be willing to change our belief system, let the past slip away, expand our sense of now, and dissolve the fear in our minds“. William James

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Watch your step

I hardly ever watch or listen to the news. I’m happy about this. A few days ago, my son Matt finished up filming for a T.V. show that he works on called, The Deadliest Catch. It’s filmed in Alaska, and I guess they just had a storm that was the biggest one in 40 years. I’m really happy I didn’t know this at the time. I’ve never seen the show that Matt works on, and probably never will. I can keep a detached enthusiasm for his life when I don’t see the scary details…which I can do nothing about anyway.

I try not to watch, read or listen to things that scare me. If something is designed to get my attention by inducing fear (worry and concern are just nice names for fear), then I know it is out of alignment with my higher self, and if I “entertain it”, I will feel like I’m out on the ragged edge all alone, worrying about the next step (or even more futile; worrying about someone else’s next step!) and not paying attention to where I am going.

Worry is not a good energy to attach to anything or anyone. Life has a way of working out perfectly if I focus on what I want, instead of what I fear, on what is going right, instead of what could potentially go wrong.

“The next moment is as much beyond our grasp, and as much in God’s care, as that a hundred years away. Care for the next minute is as foolish as care for a day in the next thousand years. In neither can we do anything, in both, God is doing everything.” C. S. Lewis

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Going with the flow, meandering home to me

An unexpected surprise, Harlow Organic Farm Stand

On my run, yesterday morning, I saw a house with a sign in the window that read, “Life In The Slow Lane”. Just as I was running past,  a woman came outside and I waved and said good morning. She hesitated for a moment and then said with a smile, “You are a brave woman”. I knew that she was talking about running in the heat (it was about 7 am, and already hot and humid). I was going to say something back about the weather, as a little voice in my head said, “Just accept the compliment.” I simply said, “Thank you.”

I also chose to drive a different route home yesterday…a longer, unfamiliar route. This was a “brave” and unusual decision for me.  I’ve been the type of person who liked the most direct, quickest path from one point to the other. I have “prided myself” on being punctual and being able to accurately predict arrival times. This type of mindset did not allow for meandering.

I didn’t start out for home with this intention, but the words, “What is the hurry?” kept coming to mind.  My plans to get coffee in Concord, stop for a bathroom break and fuel in White River Junction, were gone. I took unfamiliar roads, thought I was lost twice, and both times better routes were presented. About  noon, and not knowing exactly where I was (needing a good cup of coffee and some food), I saw a sign, “Harlow Organic Farm Stand and Cafe.” I pulled in and sat in my car for a moment in stunned silence. Nothing could have been more perfect: great food, wonderful people, and dark organic coffee.

When I was a kid, I loved roller coasters. I allowed the roller coaster with its twists and turns to take me and it was fun. The unexpected was what I wanted. I slowly, almost imperceptibly moved toward trying to control more and more of my outer life. Rigid routines and ideas crept in like a slow internal paralysis. I thought of the roller coaster ride yesterday because it dawned on me how awful it was when I was trying to direct it; sitting rigidly in the little car futilely trying to maintain my composure, and how exciting it was when I let go….let go and trusted. Today is a new day and it is going to be a good one.

 

“As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.”  Emmanuel Teney

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Relaxing into the mystery

Breakfast in the "old" garage!

When I first posted the photograph of “Wonder” on my blog, I was not looking for a home for her. It was too early, in my mind, for that. So when I got an email from friends, Patty and Mark, saying that they had been looking for an orange kitten and would like to adopt her, I was surprised, pleased, a little sad, happy, relieved….

It seems hard enough to place a friendly kitten much less a feral one and yet before I even looked, an answer came…for all of us. Her new family took her (oops…turns out that she is a he!) to the vet on Friday. He is healthy and the vet thought that he had a great personality…so sweet!

I got a wonderful email this morning from Patty and Mark saying that he is sitting on their laps eating out of a spoon. So many “intentions” were answered without struggle: Wonder found a home. Patty and Mark got the kitten they were looking for. And Jack and I finally (after way too much time!) cleaned out our garage because we were having trouble getting around in there when it came time to feed him. When things like this happen, it reaffirms my faith that something much greater than me is working “behind the scenes” for the good of everyone. I can take a deep breath and relax into the mystery and wonder of it all.

And it shall come to pass that, before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.  Isaiah 65:24

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