The existence of happiness

Esther happy to be inside looking out.

Years ago, I was taking a 6-week class that focused on prosperity. One of the women in the class (who always seemed angry at something or someone) shared that before she became aware of the power of words, she used to say, “All I need in life is a roll of toilet paper and a car that starts.” She went on to say, “Watch your words! I’m living that now.”

In class, we focused a lot on the use of specific words and affirmations, but it seemed like something was missing. I now know that the missing part was the feeling of ease, the feeling of expansion, and the feeling of happiness that needed to be a part of the affirmation. We can state, “I am wealthy. I am prosperous. I am joy-filled”, day in and day out, but if we’re angry, fearful, tense and unhappy, would money really change us? Would it really bring the feeling of happiness that we are hoping to experience?

A few years after the class ended, I ran into this woman at a concert in Saratoga. She told me that she had won (or been given, I can’t remember the details) $250,000. I expected her to be happy but she wasn’t. She started complaining about the taxes and how people were coming out of the woodwork to “mooch off” her.

We are so conditioned to believe that when some big thing happens (money, success, an important award or event) we will be happy, even when we know deep down that this isn’t true, even when we see evidence all over the place of “others” grasping and reaching for happiness outside of themselves, and we clearly see the folly in this, it can be so much harder to recognize in ourselves.

As I was searching for a quote for today’s post, I read the words of Thich Nhat Hanh, “It is not necessary to look for happiness outside of ourselves. We only need to be aware of the existence of happiness, and we have it right away.“

Over this weekend, it is my intention to become aware of the existence of happiness. …I am not quite sure what this means, but I love the feel of it, and hope that you will join me.

Read Full Post »

The secret of Life: Love doesn’t need a reason to be expressed

Stopped in traffic, taking the long way around to get the gift of Love

There is a stretch of road, between Greenwich and Battenville, NY (on Rt. 29) that has been under construction for a few weeks and whenever possible, I take this route because of one man. I don’t know his name or anything about his background, but I wouldn’t have to describe his physical features for you to figure out who he is also.

His (official) job is to stop and start traffic, but while he’s flagging people through, he looks right in your eyes, (like he’s looking to see a friend) and then he waves, smiles and sometimes even dances as he throws his arms open wide and says, “Have a great day!” or some other equally happy comment. I love seeing him because somehow it feels like he really sees me. As I drove past him yesterday, I rolled down my window and said, “You know the secret of life don’t you!?” and he shook his head yes and gave me a beautiful smile.

This is in such stark contrast to an experience that I’d had at the grocery store a couple of days earlier. I’d gotten in line behind a woman (who I know a little bit) and we both said “Hi”. Then a man (also know him a little) got in line behind me, didn’t say hi, but noticed the woman in front of me and said, “Hi…..!” and then they started up a very friendly conversation, with me standing between them. It had nothing to do with me, but I felt oddly left out.

As cool as they were to me, I wasn’t gushing effusively over them either because we don’t really know each other. But the flag man doesn’t know everyone who drives past him, and this doesn’t stop him from being right out there with his friendly open greeting….hum. I wonder if I could be that friendly or would I be afraid of looking silly or inappropriate? I might feel embarrassed if my greeting wasn’t returned or worse, looked on with scorn.

All of these reasons for holding back; all of them reasonable and logical. And not one of them capable of bringing more life, laughter or love to my (or anyone else’s) life.

While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die – whether it is our spirit, our creativity or our glorious uniqueness. Gilda Radner

Read Full Post »

The land of (good) opportunities; our lives

our little old guy, Noah (a sweet, sweet cat!)

I woke up on Wednesday morning with a new resolve to focus my mind only on the good. To look for the good in myself and in others, talk about the good in Life, write and think about the goodness of this world. I’ve known (seriously known) for a while that we get what we focus on and that if I’m looking for what is wrong with something (or someone), that quality will be magnified until it seems like that is all they are.

It is odd that it can seem so much easier (and even more natural) to do this, than to look for what is right and refuse to entertain the negative. And yet at our core, we are all Love, we are all growing tips of God-consciousness, and the most “natural” thing for us to do is to express that…and we have hundreds of opportunities to do just that everyday.

On Wednesday,  I woke with the thought,

“Before I really knew about the power of my mind to create, I created a fair amount of crap,…a lot of good, but some not-so-good too, and I’m going to let myself off the hook for all of those years when I was less conscious about what I was doing. But now I know, and I don’t want to be sitting here, 25 years from now, thinking, ‘I knew this stuff when I was in my 50′s. I was just too lazy and undisciplined to focus my mind.’” That would feel like a lost opportunity to me.

Every thought presents another opportunity to choose which way to turn, and like little tiny steps taken in the right direction, they will lead us into more happiness, more love, more connection…more of the life of our dreams.

“A man who is happy seldom tells anyone. The unhappy man is more communicative. He is eager to recite what is wrong with the world and seems to have talent for gathering a large audience. It is a modern tragedy that despair has so many spokesmen, and hope so few.” Oscar Hammerstein

 

Read Full Post »

The Spirit of Play

The birthday girl Margaret (on left), and her friend Lynne

When my son Tom was three, he wanted a toy gun more than anything. He asked us, it seemed, almost everyday for one, but we did not want to encourage “violent” behaviour so did not give in to his pleading. We bought him a plastic yard set; rake, shovel and hoe instead. I looked out the window one day, and saw him with the  plastic rake, held shoulder-high, being “aimed” at his friend. They were “playing guns” with the rake and shovel. We finally broke down and bought him a toy gun and he loved it.

I never played with guns as a child and never had any interest in them. I made some attempts at introducing toys, into my sons lives, that were not traditionally played with by boys. I once bought them a doll house (something that I had always wanted as a little girl). Matt dismembered some all the dolls, beheaded others, and made it into a little haunted house…not exactly what I had in mind.

My friend (and neighbor) Margaret, celebrated her 50th birthday on Saturday with food, a bon fire, and Laser Tag. I hadn’t played anything like this before, but thought I’d try one game, just to experience it. Teams were chosen and we all got a gun and started playing at around 5:30. At 8:00, it was getting too dark to play. I had on a lightweight T-shirt and shorts and didn’t notice that it was getting chilly, didn’t feel particularly hungry. I felt like I was ten years old again….it was odd and wonderful.

I like the thought that there is something in this wild, unknowable universe called “The Spirit of Play” and that it shows up to rejuvenate and refresh our spirits, minds and bodies, wherever beings (human and animal) gather for the purpose of fun, non-harm, and celebration. I think that I would like to become more familiar with this fun little spirit in the second half of life!

Read Full Post »

Choosing to face the world

Facing the world;, 12 years old and happy to be alive in 1967!

When I was 16, I worked as a nurse’s aid in our local hospital. The head nurses on each floor were responsible for our evaluations. The only thing that I remember about my first written evaluation was the comment, “Mary is over-zealous”. I left the meeting feeling pretty good and after work, met my mother who was, at the time, also a head nurse on a medical-surgical floor. As we chatted on the way to the car, she asked me how my evaluation went and I said good, but I did not understand what Mrs.____meant when she said that I was over-jealous. That just didn’t make sense to me.

My mother asked to see the evaluation and said, “It says over-zealous, not jealous”. I had never heard of the word zealous, or the concept that you could be overly enthusiastic about work. My mother told me that the woman critiquing me was rather cynical and not a happy person but that I could try to tone it down a bit, that did have a rather “dramatic” side to me.

I did try to tone it down after that. But it was not only this evaluation that affected me, there was a feeling in the air (circa 1960′s-70′s) that to be “cool” you must be a bit cynical, aloof, and mysterious. God-forbid you look foolish. You had to pretend that you didn’t care…about anything. No one told me that this attitude would also eventually lead to a life full of strife, unhappiness and illness…I don’t think that “they” knew this either.

Last evening I was reading a wonderful book by Prentice Mulford, published in 1889, called, “Thoughts Are Things”.  In it he writes,

“So long as we feel that strong repulsion, through seeing only the defects in another, so long are we ruled by such sentiment, we are in fetters. We are, in his or her presence, so full of hatred as to be unable to assert the better part of ourselves. All our own evil is called out and comes to the front. There is only the clashing of opposing wills…. Cynicism is born of repulsion and personal prejudice carried to its extreme. The cynic ends by finding everybody unbearable and at last hates himself. No cynic was ever in good health.”

Cynical, critical thinking has no place in my life anymore. I choose to face this world with a happy, trusting, open heart and smile.

 

(the free download of this book is below)

Thoughts Are Things by Prentice Mulford

api.ning.com/files/…/ThoughtsareThingsbyPrenticeMulford.pdf

“

Read Full Post »

Taking myself seriously…time to lighten up!

Fun!

On a recent trip, I saw this little house with a clock built into the peak! I have never seen such a thing (outside of Disney World houses, which I also love!). It made me smile. The Spirit of God is alive in this world, manifesting through us all of the time, in countless ways, including laughter, play, fun and happiness. I tend to take myself and “my work” too seriously.

There is a prevalent belief in our society, that to be spiritual you must be “subdued”, quiet, almost in a meditative state 24/7….so you will be taken seriously as a minister, healer, or spiritual person. Where did we get this idea? Look at nature. It is bright, fragrant, bursting with life!

Time for me to lighten up!

“The master of the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his education and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which; he simply pursues his vision of excellence in whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he is always doing both“.

Buddha

Read Full Post »

Home

Home is where the love is

I was shopping yesterday and saw this card. I had to buy it. The caption is:

“Having a place to go is a home. Having someone to love is a family” Donna Hedges

Jack and I have decided to move into town. We want a bigger place, one that can more easily accommodate  family, visitors and overnight guests. Our house is sweet but tiny. Plus, I really like the idea of being able to walk to the library, bank, post office and coop. As we drove around Cambridge looking for possible homes, I started to feel those old familiar doubts: Will we be able to find a place that we like as much as this one? What if we don’t like living in town? If we get a bigger home will the costs be a lot bigger too? How will this all happen?  I know better than to entertain these thoughts.  I know that I need to imagine what I want and not what I fear or don’t want. I know that there is a power that is way beyond my reasoning mind; one that works “behind the scenes” bringing all elements together for perfect solutions. I know what to think…I know what to do, but sometimes I let my mind run away with me and then I start to feel off.

I told Jack that I was going to “turn this over” to Spirit and let a solution unfold. He said “good”. A few minutes later, I said, “When we get home, before we go to Bennington to buy cat food, I want to get on-line and see if there are any houses that are listed but don’t have signs up.” He laughed and said, “I thought you were turning it over?” Oh, right.

I need to remember that what I really want is a home filled with love, happiness and peace.  I cannot move to, or buy, this place…I need to be it first. I am working on that.

Read Full Post »

Doing “something” really well…pause…

appreciating the towels!

When Jack and I went to Costa Rica last year, one of the many things that we appreciated was the wonderful care taken, with even the smallest detail, at our hotel. We used to look forward to going back to our room to see what the women who cleaned and tidied it daily, would do with the towels. They were always adorned with fresh flowers and these new, creative creatures looked like happy little critters.

Sometimes, I can get really hard on myself for not doing everything “perfectly” everyday. I expect myself to make a beautiful home, cook great meals, always be available when someone needs me, be 100% patient 1oo% of the time, never have a negative thought, never get my feelings hurt, or become worried and afraid. If I am not aware of it, I can easily overlook the things that I do really well that day, and my life becomes a mad dash to the finish line…of what?…where am I going in such a rush during these times?  To the future where I believe that at some distant moment, I will find fulfillment. Eckhart Tolle talks about this, and says if an alien was dropped onto our planet and watched people on a city sidewalk he/she would think that we were insane, rushing here and there. (I do actually feel a little crazy when I am rushing).

When I slow down (primarily in my mind) and take time to do one thing well and then appreciate that…let that little thing, like making a really good cup of coffee or combing out Luke (our big shaggy dog) be enough for that moment, my entire self takes a deep breath and expands. One little thing done really well, and then a pause….taking time to smell the roses, or fold the towels, or appreciate that someone folded them for me….this is where I want to go.

Read Full Post »

a beautiful moment

happiness in the moment!

3 days ago, I was walking into Hannaford grocery store, and this little girl was coming out. I heard her before I saw her. As the big inner doors were sliding to the sides, giggling was pouring out . I then saw the balloons and the happiest little person holding all of the strings. I was on my phone with Jack and told him I’d call him right back. I hadn’t  planned on taking her picture, but I wanted to absorb this sweet, fun, happy moment. I asked her mother if I could take a picture of her (I do love my iphone!) and she smiled and said yes.

It is dark and rainy here this morning…I felt like I needed a little boost when I woke up so I pulled up this photograph, and then thought that you might appreciate it too!

Read Full Post »

I’m ok

Life is good!

Travelling to cities for me is a big deal and truthfully, I just don’t like them….I want to like them. I want to say how exhilarating it is being in a cultural center, but my entire being is generally saying something different like, “Get me out of here!” There is a line from the movie Shirley Valentine (one of my favorites) where she is out with some girlfriends and they are talking about sex. She says, “I think sex is like supermarkets, you know, overrated. Just a lot of pushing and shoving and you still come out with very little at the end”. I have to admit, this is how I feel about cities.

But I also know that it is important to stay as centered as possible, no matter where I am. I realize that my external circumstances are really far less important than what is going on inside of me. When I am feeling less than good, I need only check to see what I have been thinking and ask myself if I have been mentally critical of people or the situation. If I am walking around thinking how much I don’t like something, then I am not going to have a good experience. I can’t blame anyone or anything outside of myself for that.

At one point during my trip, I was trying to make my way through the crowds, feeling overwhelmed, and saw this little dog just standing with an empty Poland Springs bottle in his mouth. He looked so funny and cute.  I sat down on the steps a few feet away from him and felt happier….it was as if he was saying, “Everything is fine, you’re ok.  Stay centered. Drink some water….or chew on the empty bottle…whatever!”  Animals can be so grounding….such great reminders of what is important; like laughing more and not taking life so seriously.

Read Full Post »