Opening my eyes

Jack climbing the steps to the top of the pyramid at Coba

One of the things that I asked for, in prayer, before my trip to Mexico, was to feel at peace about the animals there. When we went to Costa Rica a few years ago, there were so many straggly and skinny dogs and cats around, that the only way I could mentally feel at all at ease was to buy small bags of dog food and carry it with me, so I could at least give the hungry animal a meal. This time, we arrived at our beach house late at night and I heard dogs nearby.

The next morning I was walking past the home on our left and saw 3 well-cared for dogs (all were mixed breeds and seemed like they had pit bull in them). Our neighbors introduced themselves and I discovered that they were animal lovers and did a lot of work locally, and back in the states, to help animals in need. They also told me about a lot of good work that was being done by others in the area to get medical care, spay/neutering programs in place. I knew that they were a part of my answered prayer.

It was also interesting to me that my perspective had changed somewhat, thanks to the writing of Jon Katz. Even though a lot of the animals were very thin (by my standards) as I tried to observe them (without judgement),  I saw something that I hadn’t seen before; many of them seemed happier, on their daily missions to get food and attention, than I remembered. In the past, I just wanted to scoop up every uncared for animal, take them home, feed them and keep them “safe”. I didn’t really look at them as whole beings, I saw them through the filter of a negative label; “abandoned animal that needed/wanted my help”. As I became more observant on this trip, I could see that this, in many cases, was not the truth.

Many years ago, I worked for a community of monks (who also raised dogs) and often phone calls would come in from desperate dog owners saying that the dogs were unruly or tearing up the apartment. When the full story came out, it was clear that these dogs were just bored to distraction from living in “our world”…a cushy apartment in New York City might seem like heaven to us, but to an active dog, it can be a lonely and difficult existence.

I still love supporting shelters and feeding hungry animals, but my eyes were opened to seeing in a more expansive way on this trip. Thank you Jon.

I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. Dalai Lama

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Seeing with the heart

my father in 1957

I recently came across this photograph of my father. He was about to turn 32 years old,….the same age as my sons are now (they are  30 and 33). He looks like a little boy to me…under that serious hat and coat. When I take a moment to imagine what his life must have been, to try to see him in a different light, I only feel love for him.

I had originally written another post about my father. One that had to do with a recent interaction with my sons. I emailed it to them first (since it had something to do with them as well), and while neither said not to post it, they were both glad when I didn’t. For so many years, the only talk that I ever heard, even out of my own mouth, were words of criticism for the way my father lived, the money he spent, the places that he went (instead of being home), his lack of communication …

I was taught to do this, as most of us were; to judge everything and everyone that comes into our lives. But I know that this is not a natural state, and it is a heavy burden to carry. I still catch myself doing it every day (but the good thing is, I catch myself!). The Dalai Lama once said, “I do not judge the Universe” (and I think that must mean the people, places and events that are a part of this universe as well).

“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.” Albert Einstein

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