Enduring Love

a friendly being

I went into the bathroom yesterday and saw this spider resting on the roll of toilet paper. I’ve seen him/her in the bathroom for a couple of weeks but this was a new place and so it surprised me. I’ve been reading a biography of Emerson and the author said of Emerson’s mother, “She expected her children to be kind ‘to all animals and insects.”* This also surprised me considering that she was born in 1768.

I know so many kind people who go out of their way to capture and set free insects of all kinds, and yet are troubled by the thought that they aren’t doing anything to make the world a better place, or that their contribution is minimal. How can we measure the importance of a life? What makes us think that lovingly rescuing a spider or a bee isn’t a high spiritual activity, vitally important to the good of us all?

And who gives food to every creature. His love endures forever. Psalm 136:25

*pp. 21 Emerson, The Mind on Fire by Robert D. Richardson Jr.

 

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kindness: a universal language

polite, busy and unrushed

I was standing in the corner of this restaurant in Tulum, waiting for our take-out order. It was extremely busy, and I had my back pushed tight up against a wall (trying to stay out of the way of the waiters and kitchen staff) but no one was looking at me like, “What is she standing back here for? or Move! or Back up!”…actually quite the opposite. When anyone caught my eye, they always smiled, and in my vain attempts to back even further up against the wall, trying to give them a little more room to navigate by, they always said, “Gracias.”

Everyone worked around everyone else with efficiency and a sense of ease, even though the place was full, there was a waiting line outside, 6 people waiting for their take-out orders, and it was at least 90 degrees with no air conditioning. I didn’t hear one raised voice during my 20 minute wait. No chef yelling at kitchen help, no waiters impatient with customers (or vice versa)…it was like a bee-hive pleasantly humming along… and I loved it.

Far too often, I’ve made excuses for my behaviour saying that I was hot, or tired , or not feeling well, and yet deep down, I know that I always have a choice about my actions and treatment of others (and myself!). The food in this restaurant was really good, but what stays with me, is the genuine courtesy that I was shown.

“A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string“. George Dennison Prentice

What kind thoughts can you think about yourself this weekend? What are you doing so well, everyday, that you take this part of yourself for granted, and don’t realize what a gift you are to the world? This might be a good question to ask your higher self over the next few days.

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Clowning around?

Jack and Fred watching Saint Misbehavin'

I’ve been sent a few videos this week with the theme of rescuing animals. What I felt while watching all of these, was they made me feel good about us humans. I love seeing people come together for the good of others. It reminds me that we are all in this together, and that I cannot help another without, at the same time, helping myself.  Interestingly enough, the documentary that we’ve been watching is about Wavy Gravy. I’d seen him years ago and dismissed him as a “clown”.

I was trying so hard back then to be serious, to be taken seriously, to be socially acceptable, that I didn’t recognize the real thing, a genuinely great man and humanitarian, when I saw him. When the documentary was almost over, Jack said, “This has to be one of the most inspiring stories that I have ever seen. Let’s save the last 15 minutes for tomorrow night so we can really savor it.” I agreed.

“We are all the same person trying to shake hands with our self“. Wavy Gravy

P.S. the winner of the incense was Donna! ..and for those interested, the brand is Atmosphere and the scent is Tranquility….(I hope that Donna will share her impressions of it with us after she gives it a try!)

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a simple smile

Perry's Orchard Christmas trees, $15

Jack told me the other day that the place where we buy our apples, Perry’s Orchard, also sells Christmas trees, and that I had to see them for myself. We both really like the man who owns and runs this orchard/farm. He is friendly, kind and honest.  Even though there are places closer to us to buy apples, Jack always takes the drive out to Perry’s, because it makes him feel good. We don’t get our trees there, but I have to say that seeing his trees made me smile.

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness“. Dalai Lama

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Indulging our affections

view out my side window this morning

Several strange things happened this morning; I overslept (just got up at 7 am!), and saw a winter wonderland as I looked outside. I never think that I am going to be ready for the snow, but I like the feeling of change that it brings, like it is saying, “We are now putting the curtain down on what came before. It is time for the next “act.’”  What character will I play in this new scene? I get to choose.

“The moment we indulge our affections, the earth is metamorphosed, there is no winter and no night; all tragedies, all ennui’s vanish, all duties even”. Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Honesty

I saw a show the other night highlighting the life of a famous man who had died. The words used to describe him were: petulant, impatient, brilliant. They said that he could be brutally rude to anyone (waitresses, cab drivers, fellow employees….) that didn’t live up to his standards.  When asked by a friend, why he acted this way, his explanation was that he demanded excellence in all areas of life, and that basically if someone was not, in his opinion, excellent, he felt justified in telling them his opinion of  their work; their life. They said that this man, while admittedly brilliant, was not kind. He had everything by worldly standards, and yet he looked unhappy and tense.

I read a quote, years ago by Rabbi Heschel; “When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.” I also remember not really understanding the power of this thought at the time. I was in my early 30′s, in graduate school (studying theology no less), but there was a high degree of competition, tension, and lack of cooperation present in the school and student body. Life seemed harsh; lots of sarcastic banter, a lot of talk that began with the words, “I need to be honest with you about….” (this always meant that someone was going to tell you something that they didn’t like about you, your behaviour…).

I wonder if the brilliant man was a happier man, would his version of honesty have changed? How many times have I had a harsh, critical thought about myself or someone else and the only reality, the only “truth” in it was that I was having a bad day. When I get myself into a better state of mind, the world, and everything in it,  looks better to me too.

“Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true”. Robert Brault.

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Bounce: The capacity to “spring”

a Costa Rican ylang ylang blossom; wishing you more happiness, joy, spring and bounce!

When I was a little girl, on May 1st (or maybe the night before) we made tiny baskets of flowers and anonymously left them on the doorsteps of our neighbors. I haven’t thought about this tradition in so many years…how sweet was that?!  I remember leaving them, and how excited I felt seeing them on our doorstep too. Yesterday I was walking with my mother and she said something about loving spring and then said, “Years ago I wrote you a letter, telling you that you reminded me of spring”. I believed her, but did not have any recollection of that letter. What sweet words…to have never really “heard” until yesterday, 30-35 years later. They felt like a surprise gift.

Recently I was with a friend and his 15-year-old daughter. She had been in a play and did a wonderful job. Her father was complimenting her all over the place and I could just see his words almost bouncing off her. It was as if she was thinking, “Yeah, yeah I know you think I’m great but who cares what you think?!” I wonder if, in 40 years, she will remember his kind, supportive words? I seem to have remembered the negative things that my parents said to me, and wonder how, I too, might have just let the positive ones bounce off…not thinking that their opinions/feelings were important.

As I looked up the history of May Day this morning, one site said that this day’s celebrations mark the end of the dark season of no growth and the beginning of new growth/life and spring. Negative thoughts and words do weigh us down…inhibit our ability to enjoy life..I want more “spring in my step” not less, more lightness of spirit, happiness and inner joy. I want more “spring”!  I would like to set my intention to listen for, and to really hear, more of the good that is being said; to let the negative words that I hear be the ones that bounce off.

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Ben’s Bells

The other day, Susan A. from Arizona sent me the link to this incredible story about spreading love.

“This morning in our Phoenix newspaper magazine section there was the most beautiful article about a woman who harnessed her overwhelming grief at losing her baby son to a sudden respiratory failure, into making “Ben’s Bells”  -  here, I found her webpage – it says it better than I:”

http://www.bensbells.org/

This story made me want to do something like this too…to give kindness, hope, love and support to “anyone who happens to walk by”. I don’t believe that we have to have ever met for love to be communicated. There is a beautiful scene at the end of “It’s A Wonderful Life” where Jimmy Stewart is holding his daughter and a bell on the Christmas tree rings and she says,

“Look Daddy, teacher says that every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.” So today, remember when you hear a bell ring that love is coming to you from an “unseen” place!

 

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