Esther always finds comfort
In 12 days, we will be leaving for Mexico. I’ve been doing a lot of planning; looking at the Mayan ruin sites, calculating driving distances, reading reviews of local restaurants and rental car companies and deciding how much money to have converted to pesos beforehand. I am a planner. I’m good at it, and I really like it, but I also need to be aware when my inner voice says, “You’ve moved from having fun investigating, into fear and worry that you’ll forget something; won’t pack the right clothes, or have the right gear, leave detailed enough instructions for our pet/house sitter, or the instructions will be so detailed that they’ll be confusing….the list will not end unless I stop it. It’s as if my conscious mind (calling itself “responsible”) is desperately trying to stuff my life into a little box; one that is neat, safe and tidy.
When this happens, it is time to step away and re-orient myself to what is important about the trip. My “purpose” on this vacation is really no different from my purpose everyday, and that is to remember who I am, to remember that I am here to awaken to the Love that is inside me, to shine that light of Love, and to look for it in all that I meet in this great trip called Life.
When I’m afraid or worried I am unconsciously looking for what is wrong. If I don’t catch this, I’ll start attracting those energies and will end up having a rough ride instead of a relaxing journey. Fear, concern, or worry are all contracting, small energies. They are self-centered to the extreme, and are good indicators that I have forgotten that there is a huge, benevolent, Loving force running in, through and around me (and everyone else) and the only thing that I need to do to feel a part of it is to drop the negative thoughts and look for the love, connection and happy coincidences; to allow myself to be swept along by the arms of Love and to enjoy the trip!
“A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us“. John Steinbeck
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Eleanor sleeping on the Turbo Scratcher toy
We got home last night at 10:30 which is super-late for us, but we were having such a great time, that we didn’t want it to end. The cats really don’t care how late I go to bed, they want me up by 5 and I generally oblige (because they won’t give up until I do). I sat at my computer and tried to think of something to write but drew a blank so I looked at real estate on-line, ate oatmeal, looked at a book with some gorgeous pictures of Easter celebrations…still no inspiration. …it is sort of delightful to be a little tired out from having a good time!
“Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials.” Paul Rudnick
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Great picture sent to me by a friend last night
So, we have our plane reservations made and are now working on a place to stay. I’ve sent out a bunch of emails to bungalow/beach house owners, asking prices and in some cases, seeing if they would be willing to come down in price to meet our budget. I have never done this before. I’ve always believed that negotiating prices (on anything) was not the “right” thing to do. It occurred to me the other day that I could try to do it differently.
Instead of not even considering a place that is over our budget, I could simply ask them. As I did this, I noticed a fear that asking for a lower price would make the transaction somehow adversarial. When I told Jack how I was feeling, he laughed and said, “They can say yes or no, or even email back with an in-between price, but your emails were really polite. No one is going to get offended Mary.”
It struck me, as I closed my computer last night, and put the search to bed also, that maybe my email will be just what someone was hoping for too…that what we want, also wants us.
“There is only one of us here: What we give to others, we give to ourselves. What we withhold from others, we withhold from ourselves. In any moment, when we choose fear instead of love, we deny ourselves the experience of Paradise.” Marianne Williamson
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Think about the good
For much of my life, I didn’t believe that what I thought about, had anything to do with the way my life was going. Growing up, I never heard my mother say a nice word about my father. She talked and thought negatively, day and night, about the way he acted toward her. She felt justified in her criticism and she was right. All negative, fearful, and suspicious thought is eventually “justified” because we are the creators of our personal experience.
We have somehow come to believe that it is responsible to be able to “intelligently” talk about the ills of society and what is wrong with the world and the people in it. There’s a belief that if we point out and focus on what is wrong, then we are doing our part to change others and the world, for the better. But trying to make positive change from a stance of criticism, disgust, anger, fear and self-righteousness doesn’t work. The best teachers in this world are not the ones who focus on what is wrong, but the ones who can see the good (even if it is tiny and imperceptible to everyone else), and magnify it.
We are an unhappy society full of critical thinkers. It is almost politically and socially incorrect to be happy. Why not take this weekend to see what is right in your life…just in your life. Try to turn from thoughts of what is going wrong (or could go wrong) to what is right or could go right. Look for the good within. Shine a spot light on it. Magnify it and see what happens.
“There’s no reality except the one contained within us. “Hermann Hesse
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