Think a new thought…

I found this artist’s (Pamela Zagarenskii) gorgeous work through her cards, http://www.sacredbee.com

Here in the United States, we had a presidential election on Tuesday. As we were leaving a wonderful restaurant yesterday, the owner said to Jack, as he paid the bill, “Four more years huh?” in a very deflated way. Jack said that he didn’t even know what to say to her, so he thanked her for a terrific lunch, told her that he loved her restaurant, and left.  As we talked about this later, we agreed that no matter who had been elected, we would start looking forward to the next day, the next four weeks, the next four years…. of our lives.

If I am feeling discouraged about my life, instead of voicing the same old complaint; “Why are things so bad?”, a much better question would be, “What new thought can I think, right now, that will make my life better?

“I’ve learned that next to the atomic bomb, the greatest danger is defeatism, despair, and inadequate awareness of what human beings possess. I feel that any problem that can be defined is capable of being resolved. Out of this has come my conviction that no man knows enough to be a pessimist.” Norman Cousins

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Look….out

Eleanor on the meditation cushions

When I woke up yesterday morning, an image flashed before my eyes that almost made me laugh. It was as if I could see “Life” standing at my front door with Its hand outstretched saying “Come with me. It doesn’t matter what you did yesterday or last year or what you never did. Today is a fresh start, a new beginning. Step into it!” Later that morning, I was driving along the river and a red-tailed hawk flew in front of my car to the other side of the road, grabbed a snake, and flew back across my path toward the river.

I read a wonderful Ram Dass quote a few days ago that said, “The next message you need is always right where you are.”

Come, come, whoever you are
Wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving.
It doesn’t matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow a hundred times
Come, yet again, come, come.

RUMI

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taking down barriers to Love

my father in his early 20′s (home from college)

My mother told me the other day that someone in the family had given her a bunch of old photographs, and that she was thinking about throwing the ones that had my father in them out. I asked her please not to do that, and told her that I would like them. She replied, “Okay” with the tone of, “I really don’t understand why you would want them.”

I got my mail yesterday, and there was a small packet from her with a note saying she had “picked out a nice little bunch” for me. I appreciated this so much. I know it wasn’t easy for her to do. She is, little by little, letting go of the idea that she was “wronged”, and the more she drops the thought that she had a miserable past, the happier she becomes.

I had never seen this picture of my father before, and it brought tears to my eyes. He looked so full of life and fun and hope and future. Life didn’t turn out the way he had hoped…I know that now. He is disappointed in his own life, and it seems there are a lot of people who are still disappointed in him too…I used to be one of them.

Coretta Scott King once said, “Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.” I can feel the truth of this for myself. Hate is a locked door. We are hoping to keep ourselves safe from further hurt, but we really end up imprisoned with the horrible memories (we are trying to flee from) locked inside too, as erratic painful companions, liable to be triggered by a question, a photograph or a random thought.

There was a time in my life when a photograph like this would have brought a feeling of disdain to me…like a painful barb….that wasn’t so long ago, yet I can’t even conjure up those feelings anymore…what a great relief. When I changed, everything around me changed too. My perceptions of the past, my family, my self.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Rumi

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The diamond necklace

Noah, Fred, and Esther taking morning naps (with angel frog watching over them!)

I’ve been sleeping more lately; going to bed earlier and getting up later, and it feels divine when I can turn away from the voice that says, “You are being lazy. Why are you sleeping so much? There must be something wrong with you! Nothing will get done if you don’t do it. You have to GET MOVING!” I am learning to discern this critical task-master voice, from the one that prompts me to “right action” when the timing (which is usually beyond my ability to figure out) is right. Action has never really been a problem for me. Waiting and trusting that I am being guided has been more of a challenge.

Lately, there is an inner voice calling to me saying,  ”Relax. Trust. Listen with new ears. Sink into your life and watch it unfold in miraculous ways.”

“You wander from room to room, hunting for the diamond necklace, that is already around your neck.” Rumi

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