sinking into the YES of life

New couch with Eleanor sleeping on it

I started to write a post today about saying no. About how sometimes we must stay focused and true to our visions, which can mean saying no to other things, but as I wrote I felt deflated. I didn’t feel good writing about that today. When I sat here at my desk and said, “Yes”, I could feel myself coming back to center.

Walking past one of our local thrift stores yesterday, I spotted a big pink velvet couch on their porch. I’ve wanted a velvet couch for a long time, (the cats don’t seem to scratch velvet which is a huge plus for us) and I love the feel of it. I walked onto the porch and sat down into a big pink cloud…oh how heavenly! and big (over 7 feet long) …Our home is small; a little over 800 square feet and we already have a couch.

I went inside and asked the price. $30. I said yes. Then I thought, “Where are we going to put it?” and I knew that Jack would ask the same thing. We moved a small table out and it fits pretty well in our T.V/living room. I love big, soft, vintage furniture. I wouldn’t care if I ever again sat at a dining room table. I like sinking in, putting my feet up, eating with my plate on my lap. It is a part of my adventure here in this lifetime, ….it is a “Yes” for me.

“The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure“. Joseph Campbell

Read Full Post »

Going with the flow, meandering home to me

An unexpected surprise, Harlow Organic Farm Stand

On my run, yesterday morning, I saw a house with a sign in the window that read, “Life In The Slow Lane”. Just as I was running past,  a woman came outside and I waved and said good morning. She hesitated for a moment and then said with a smile, “You are a brave woman”. I knew that she was talking about running in the heat (it was about 7 am, and already hot and humid). I was going to say something back about the weather, as a little voice in my head said, “Just accept the compliment.” I simply said, “Thank you.”

I also chose to drive a different route home yesterday…a longer, unfamiliar route. This was a “brave” and unusual decision for me.  I’ve been the type of person who liked the most direct, quickest path from one point to the other. I have “prided myself” on being punctual and being able to accurately predict arrival times. This type of mindset did not allow for meandering.

I didn’t start out for home with this intention, but the words, “What is the hurry?” kept coming to mind.  My plans to get coffee in Concord, stop for a bathroom break and fuel in White River Junction, were gone. I took unfamiliar roads, thought I was lost twice, and both times better routes were presented. About  noon, and not knowing exactly where I was (needing a good cup of coffee and some food), I saw a sign, “Harlow Organic Farm Stand and Cafe.” I pulled in and sat in my car for a moment in stunned silence. Nothing could have been more perfect: great food, wonderful people, and dark organic coffee.

When I was a kid, I loved roller coasters. I allowed the roller coaster with its twists and turns to take me and it was fun. The unexpected was what I wanted. I slowly, almost imperceptibly moved toward trying to control more and more of my outer life. Rigid routines and ideas crept in like a slow internal paralysis. I thought of the roller coaster ride yesterday because it dawned on me how awful it was when I was trying to direct it; sitting rigidly in the little car futilely trying to maintain my composure, and how exciting it was when I let go….let go and trusted. Today is a new day and it is going to be a good one.

 

“As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.”  Emmanuel Teney

Read Full Post »