Blessing others…with a smile

Jack and the butterfly

At the end of my run yesterday, I noticed a butterfly in my neighbor’s driveway. I put my hand close to its front legs, and it crawled onto my finger. As I walked home, I kept thinking it was going to fly away, but it didn’t, so when I got back to our house, I called Jack to show him and asked him to bring a little water with him.

He held out his hand, and the butterfly crawled onto his finger. He’d just washed his hands, so they were damp, and the butterfly stuck out its little tongue and began to drink the tiny drops of water. I went inside to get the camera and then we placed the butterfly on a leaf (with an additional few drops of water in case it was still thirsty) where it stayed for a couple of minutes before flying off.

A number of years ago, I worked for a community of nuns, and one of them had a special love for birds. One hot summer day, a tiny bird landed in the courtyard. Sister Sarah had been talking with me in the kitchen, but noticed it and said, “Everyone thinks that birds need to be fed, but forget that they get very thirsty” as she filled a shallow bowl with water, and took it outside to place near the bird.

Sister Sarah was always doing “little things” like that…things that made life better for everyone she came in contact with. One of the ways that she uplifted me was by smiling when we first saw each other. I always felt like she was genuinely happy to see me, and even now, years later when I think about her smile, it makes me feel good.

I thought about her a lot yesterday …maybe I can’t always offer “concrete” help to another, but I can always give them a smile…at least in my heart.

“Condemn none: if you can stretch out a helping hand, do so. If you cannot, fold your hands, bless your brothers, and let them go their own way”.  Swami Vivekananda

P.S. Jenn Peek was the winner of the book!

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best friends

Fred

For many years, I was friends with a woman who was funny, smart and interesting. She was also extremely critical.  I never quite knew when this critical part of her would come out. It might be after having a nice lunch, or talk on the phone, but several days later, I’d receive a letter or phone message saying that she was very upset about something that I said or had done (or didn’t say or do). Many times, I had no idea what she was talking about, so I’d be scrambling mentally to figure it out…feeling terrible.  Eventually I let the relationship go. It was just too tiring.

What I also came to see, is that the most relentlessly tiring and critical people were cupcakes compared to the one that lived inside my own head. …talk about never getting a break! If constant self-criticism worked, many of us would be perfect beyond measure, but it doesn’t. I cannot mentally beat myself into being “better” and neither can you. Incessantly looking for defects, just magnifies what is not right, and makes us feel perpetually inferior, afraid and insecure.

If we don’t like this quality in our friendships, why do we accept it in ourselves?

How about taking this weekend to refuse to think critically about yourself? Just for 2 days, treat yourself like you treat your best friend.

We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses. Carl Jung

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The “what ifs”

The view from our vacation house!

I went to be Wed. night saying to myself (over and over like a mantra), “The perfect place for us will present itself and it will be even better than I can imagine. I am getting excited to see how this unfolds!”. I got up early Thursday morning, checked my emails to see if any of the house owners had gotten back to me (which they hadn’t yet), so I wrote my post, and just as I was leaving for my office, an email came in saying that one of the houses was available. The cost for the week was within our budget and everything seemed perfect. As the day unfolded, and emails and phone calls were going around between the owner, myself and Jack, and my sons, everyone agreed: this was the place.

24 hrs ago, I was going on faith. Keeping an open mind, and staying away from the negative “what ifs”. Have you ever noticed that  you rarely hear anyone say, “What if this place  (or situation, or job, or relationship) is magnificent? What if it is even better than I expected?, What if it exceeds all of my hopes?” So many times, people try to keep  expectations low to avoid disappointment. But isn’t living with low expectations a disappointing way to live in the meantime?

Give it a try this weekend. If you are worried about something (or someone), why not say, “What if this is all working out even better than I could imagine?”

“We tend to get what we expect“. Norman Vincent Peale

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