The Roadblock Prayer

For all of you who asked to see it…the new haircut!

I saw my mother the other day and she loved my new haircut, and said that she wanted to get a similar one. She then asked me to make an appointment for her with my hairstylist, Liz. While I can enthusiastically recommend Liz, I felt a little twinge of discomfort thinking about setting the appointment up. My mother has never liked her hair cut/styles and although I know that she has changed over the past year (and become a lot more positive in general), I had visions of her being unhappy and grumbling about it afterward. I called Liz anyway and left a message.

As I drove home, I thought, “If this is not in the highest and best for everyone, I ask it to be roadblocked.” This “prayer”* is one of the most helpful spiritual tools that I have ever used. Many years ago, I was working as a volunteer for the Norman Vincent Peale Prayer Line, and the director (at that time) was the one who first told me about it.

Sometimes we make commitments, or say yes to something, that we’re not totally comfortable doing, and aren’t sure if we should cancel, or go forward with it. This is the time when the roadblock prayer is so helpful. Basically it says, “I am turning this entire situation over to a Higher Intelligence. I cannot figure out the best course and feel confused when I try to. I am going to move forward with the plan (whatever it may be) but if it is not in the highest and best good, then I give You (Spirit/God/Universal Energy) full permission to roadblock it, and I will now drop the struggle from my mind.”

The wording is not important, but the intention is. I have to be ready to really let go of the mental debate and turn my current dilemma over to the part of me (the Divine Self) that always knows the best course to take, but that I might be, in the moment, having a hard time hearing because of my conflicted thoughts/emotions. After I’ve said this prayer, I drop the issue from my mind and refuse to entertain it again.

An hour after getting home from meeting with my mother, she called to say that she had changed her mind and was going to give her own hairdresser another try. It was so simple and easy and I didn’t have to say a word. There is so much more help available to us, spiritually/Universally, than we sometimes realize.

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell

* The “Roadblock Prayer” has been such a helpful tool in my life, and I’ve wanted to share it here for a while, but felt I couldn’t adequately explain it. If what I have written is at all confusing or you would like me to say a little bit more about it, please let me know, and I’ll be happy to talk more about it.

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Moving through the world with confidence

a beautiful world

Many years ago, I took a trip to Grenada to relax, but also to learn how to snorkel. The idea of seeing those beautiful, graceful and colorful fish felt so exotic and exciting. I hired a guide and liked him the moment that we met. He was young but had an inner confidence, and I knew that hiring him was the right thing to do.

He started to take me out into ocean, adjusting my mask and showing me how to breath through the snorkel, and I suddenly became rigid with fear. I felt like I was going to aspirate tons of sea water and drown. It was not logical. I was in panic mode and tried to get back to shore as fast as I could. He was talking to me, but I was too scared to listen. I actually started yelling, “I cannot do this! I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to do this anymore!” Instead of backing down, he took my hand and held onto me, not tightly, but firmly.

This beautiful young man just took my hand and said, “It’s ok. You can do it. I won’t let you go.”  And he held steady. He did not get worked up or thrown off-balance by my mini-melt-down. He taught me to snorkel and we floated around for a half hour or so, holding hands, watching the fish.

I felt such a sense of accomplishment as I got out of the water. I also saw how panic and fear wanted to shut me down and send me scrambling for “safety”. I was in my mid-thirties then and had so little idea of how to trust myself; to trust the part of me that is always connected to divine wisdom. I’ve learned a lot since that time about listening to, and going with, my inner guidance. I’ve made enough mistakes, where I’ve declared at the unfortunate conclusion,” Why didn’t I listen to myself? I could feel from the start that something was off here” Or, “I never trusted him or her from the beginning. I talked myself into doing that and all along something inside was telling me it wasn’t right.” And I had plenty of times when I did trust the person or situation (even though my head was trying to get me into fear and doubt) and it turned out really well.

If we are going to live open and big lives, we need to trust others, but our inner knowing is always the final authority. We can step out with confidence in the world if we have faith in our inner guidance; the part of us that is connected to all Wisdom…the part that knows we won’t be led down a path feeling great and in harmony, to be suddenly dumped in the middle.

“When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer“. Corrie Ten Boom

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What will my intuition toss up to me today?!

My friend's daughter, Delaney. I noticed that she had 2 different socks on and her mom said (with a big smile), "She is always doing things like that!"

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote that Gordon Ramsay was coming to our little town (Cambridge NY) to film an episode of his new series, Hotel Hell. I also wrote that I didn’t have any interest in watching it, which was true. During the buildup to the show, the town was buzzing with energy. Some people were excited and happy, others indifferent or critical. As I began to listen and observe what was happening around me (and inside of me), it felt like there was the potential for a good time, but I also watched myself trying to be uninterested. There was a part of me that thought I shouldn’t care that this was happening.

One of my “rules for living” is to see the world as freshly as possible, to always trust my intuitive feelings, and to go with the positive pull of Life, even when it doesn’t makes sense. Especially when it doesn’t make sense. Even when it means that I might look foolish. I finally let myself be pulled into the adventure, until I noticed that every time I drove into town, I was trying to catch a glimpse of the chef and crew.

When several people in town (who read my blog) asked me what I thought about it all, and I said I thought it was fun, I was met with questioning looks like, “What? I thought you wrote that you didn’t like things like this?”  The gist of what I had previously written was, “trust your feelings”. If you are watching or participating in something that is making you uncomfortable and tense, if a deep inner voice (not the ego’s critical, fearful, judgemental voice) is saying, “this is wrong, this doesn’t feel good. Stop it. Get out.” then listen to it. Don’t be afraid of what the crowd will think, follow your own heart. I wrote that what I observe, I will eventually feel in my body and energy field, and I was observing a lot of fun.

A few days before the actual filming started, I thought, “I would like to be invited over there”. That was it. I had the thought and let it go. Friday afternoon, I was finishing up some email correspondence and a friend called and said, “I have been invited to the hotel for a special surprise Saturday morning and can bring a couple of friends. Do you want to come?” I was speechless. My previous intention came to mind instantly and I said yes!

I wrote in my blog on Friday that noticing when things were different was one of the ways to open doors, and by Saturday evening, I could have filled several pages with “What was different in the past 24 hrs!”

Every single person, event and circumstance is multi-faceted. When someone says to me that a person is “a jerk”, I know that they mean that the side of that person being shown to them is a jerk. We call out the aspects of life that fit our belief systems. I still don’t want to watch reality TV, have no interest in witnessing anyone get yelled at, or put down, but this was not the part of the event that I lined up with. The Saturday surprise was a blast. (I am not allowed to talk about what happened until after the show airs sometime in the Spring). Everyone was kind and fun and we had a delicious time!

“It is always with excitement that I wake up in the morning wondering what my intuition will toss up to me, like gifts from the sea. I work with it and rely on it. It’s my partner“. Jonas Salk

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intuition: remembering the gift

Bodhi, Noah and Eleanor checking out the new flowers

Many years ago, I was applying to graduate school and was trying to figure out which professors to ask for letters of recommendation. I kept feeling uneasy about one of them; a man who was very friendly and open around me, but something felt off. The night before I was going to ask him, I had a dream that I was listening in on a conversation that he was having with someone else, and the part that I heard was, “I don’t know what I’d do, but I’d let Mary drop.” I woke up knowing not to ask him. Later on, I heard something about him that confirmed my decision had been the right one.

I have learned, over the years, to trust my dreams. In my 20′s and 30′s, when I was much less aware of my inner voice of guidance, I relied heavily on my dream life to inform my decisions. Even though its “language” is highly symbolic, it points the way. It is one of the voices of the intuitive mind.

The conscious mind (rational mind) always wants concrete proof. It loves to argue. If it cannot be explained in logical terms, the conscious mind dismisses it. Our intuitive hunches and nudges, when followed are the things that lead us out of the confusion, out of the mental debates, into lives that flow and work well. Following the intuitive mind leads to a sense of inner peace; a knowing that we can trust ourselves, and at the same time, are not overly suspicious of others because we know who we are. The intuitive mind is the lowly, humble, almost unrecognized path that leads to brilliant flashes of insight, love, success, happiness, peace and our true heart’s desire.

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” Albert Einstein

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