The picture above is from my 2011 calendar which is a series of “openings”. I love the feeling it gives me of unknown opportunities behind the closed doors…especially when I am sitting, safely, at my desk looking at my calendar, busy with the life that I have chosen which seems to be working well, at the moment, just the way it is.
I bought this calendar to remind myself that this is what life is about…a series of openings, challenges, and opportunities that, when presented, don’t necessarily feel bright and clear and welcoming…the path may look like these beautiful stairs in retrospect, but when I am about to make a move, do something new, leave the known because it is time, but I don’t see exactly where I am going, or what it is going to be like when I get there, the picture in my mind can be much more frightening.
Years ago, when I was in Divinity school, I remember hearing the term, “divine discontent”, to describe the feelings that can come up when we are being moved from the inside….moved to expand, grow, change and live a fuller life…when our old way of being has become too small and that is the only thing that we are sure of. But there always is a clear path, as tiny as it may seem, and it comes in the form of that “knowing” inside. When I can calm down the fear and take a deep breath and listen, there is a something that points the way. It has been called many different things by many different people; intuition, “the still, small voice”, the muse, a guardian angel, Jesus, our higher power, the subconscious mind… I don’t believe that it matters what we call it or if we call it anything. What matters is that we recognize it, and that we trust it, over all outside opinion.
I didn’t notice, until I took the photograph this morning that at the top of this path, over the door was a bell….a call, even when not seen, to a deeper, richer life.