Keeping quiet, being kind to ourselves

I woke up the other day, knowing that I was “off”…couldn’t really tell why, I just know when the sound of our cats cleaning themselves irritates me, then I am off. I did my best to center myself; went for a run, meditated, tried to do some energy work….still felt off. During these times,  I have come to see that “damage prevention” is the best I may be able to do. Unless a situation is life-threatening, I try not to solve any problems (like calling my mechanic to check on the car, emailing the phone company to see why they charged $90 instead of $35 for our internet this month, …etc.) when I am in this state of mind.

I have found, over the years, that communicating during these times does not work out well for me! Invariably I get someone on the phone who matches my crappy mood and my frustration increases..sometimes I make the situation worse. What does help me, is to recognize that I am not at my best and then to give myself a break. It seems as soon as I am able to be kind to myself, I feel better. It is a part of being human to have ups and downs emotionally, and sometimes the best that I can do in the moment is nothing.



“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” Abraham Lincoln



18 thoughts on “Keeping quiet, being kind to ourselves

  1. Mary,
    My “off” day was yesterday. I don’t know why this happens to me but I know it when my off switch turns off!!! Usually I try to just stay at home and do quiet things. The feelings just seems to correct themselves. Thanks for the post today.


  2. I get that way after a frustrating day. When I work and work and am not quite sure I have accomplished anything for all the effort. The next day I will be off. I know it will pass and wish only to be left alone and not spread the off feeling to anyone else. So far I have not figured out an instant cure for the off. Perhaps when one is off they should go off alone. Having faith in time healing all wounds. The mind will fix itself if left alone. Thanks for showing your normalcy.

  3. Ahh Lincoln.. I grew up hearing his words of wisdom and my son continues this legacy. I do not always remember these words at the appropriate time. I have finally begun to be gentler with myself, however. Aren’t we just amazing works in progress? Thanks for sharing your life and reminding us it is all already alright! Enjoy..

  4. You know how they say that if you are trying to diet and you get a craving for something sweet, to hold off for ten minutes and if you still want it, eat it? Well that’s the philosophy I apply to my crappy moods. I try to not think about how I feel for ten minutes. If, at the end of that time, I’m still in the dumps, I just allow it in, wallow in it, and let it leave when it wants. The older I get, the kinder I am becoming to myself. Great post, Mary!

  5. Hi Mary – I like the the part of this blog about being kind to yourself.
    I have a bookmark that says: “When you’re feeling uneasy, unsafe, untrusting, or just vaguely Not Okay…it doesn’t really matter where the feeling is coming from…What matters is that you do whatever you need to do to find safety for yourself in the moment.”

  6. Just like yourself and I imagine many others I have had my days like this. Sometimes I just keep quiet but the odd time I messed up by being around someone who is also out of sorts and it kinda messes up the whole day. A good idea here is the Gratitude book. This is the notebook to write down something we are thankful for each day. I had one before my fire. I was thinking I should start another one. It encourages us to get through our day better. I know it has helped me in the past.

  7. Old Abe had some wise sayings. Yesterday I had what I call my “Toxic aura” day — my bathroom had flooded into the hall, my bedroom and all closets, I had to haul everything out and pull up wet carpet. My credit card had been compromised and it was snowing out. Some friends came over and were giving me some “advice” on everything I was doing wrong. I had no patience for such advice. I did not keep my mouth shut. I should have walked around the block. Some days are just like that. We can’t be jolly all the time! I love you Mary.

  8. Thank you so much for this post. It helped me get thru a dark cloud this morning, as I was off and not doing well with it. Somehow, your words helped me to drop my resistance to what is and once I make friends with what is it begins to change.

  9. What sound advice!! Damage prevention… I like that catch phrase… much more proactive than damage control…

  10. When I get in one of those crappy states, I have to retreat! My BC female comes with me. I hole up on the futon, and she gets on her couch, guarding me. My BC is woofing at me, right now! Get to the futon! Do it!

  11. Mary,

    What a honest and thoughtful post followed by a most wonderful quote. I adore your blogs. Thank you, thank you.

    I figure we are only human, after all! Can’t expect ourselves to be ‘on’ all the time, right? Mr. Lincoln puts it so eloquently. What a class act.

    I received your balm and will get Sally’s to her tomorrow. Thank you again for your generosity.

    Susan L of Canton, Ohio -;)

  12. One learns thyself through experiences. I have learned not to make any major decisions when I am tired. Also, not to discuss “hot” issues when I am tired. I now know to go to bed when I am tired. That is one way for me to be good to myself. This is one way for me to use damage prevention.

Comments are closed.