You “deserve”……

30 socks without matches!

I have been cleaning out everything lately…whether we move or not, it is time. I took this pile of single socks downstairs to throw out, and did not quite make it. I loved some of these socks. I remember when they were a pair. But the mate has been missing a long time and the pile in the bottom of my dresser just reminds me that I lose socks. It is time to move on. Time to make room for functional socks and to stop lamenting the loss, or wearing the ones that are “close enough” and hope nobody looks at my feet.

Of course my “fear” is that I will throw them out and the next day find all of the matches. It is just a thought that comes up, and tries to stop me from going forward saying, “You might regret this. You had better not change, you might be making a mistake!” and if these thoughts only came up around socks then I would be delighted! They don’t. This thread of not trusting myself, or feeling that what I want is impossible, or I should be happy with what I have and not want more, tries to creep in, when I really want something new. A little (really not so little) ancient voice from the past says, “You don’t deserve it”. You don’t deserve nice socks if all you do is lose them, you don’t deserve a great relationship if you couldn’t make the other ones work, you don’t deserve a bigger house…the list goes on and on. Will I ever be rid of this voice? Probably not. But when I recognize it, and don’t let it stop me, then I am giving life my best and can expect the best to come back to me.

I’ve been practicing a mantra before I go to bed at night, and when I wake up in the middle of the night, wondering about my life, and find it to be soul-soothing. I repeat,  “I deserve peace of mind” over and over. It feels like a healing wave rocking me back to sleep.

Deserve: To be worthy of.

14 thoughts on “You “deserve”……”

  1. Hi Mary,
    Once again, you’re spot on. People just don’t feel ‘worthy’ enough within themselves to garner whatever large or small thing that would make them happy. This is a big one…..learning that we all are ‘worthy.’ It requires major cleaning out of the mental and emotional detritus that has silently built up in us over our lifetimes. How many of us can say “I deserve this” and truly feel it and mean it? Not many, I would wager.

  2. NO, NO, NO!! Don’t throw them out – pair them up and they will be what we knitters call Fraternal Socks. I love mix ‘n match. What size are they?

  3. I agree with you and Suzanne… many of us don’t feel worthy. Some of us don’t feel worthy of life itself. I’ll leave that there.

    Reduce, reuse, recycle – socks make for great dusting/cleaning cloths! You might want to hang onto a few, for that purpose. Just a suggestion…


  4. Hi Mary, funny you should choose just now to write this. The fact that washers and dryers eat socks has been a joke among me and mine for some time now. We think its a big hole in the universe where socks go, (what do they do with them over there?) In any case, that being said its really not your fault that they are sucked out to the cosmos, if someone can think of a better explanation Im all ears.

    On a serious note, when I do my affirmations or meditations, I use the I deserve one, but I also use “its safe to” as in, “its safe to move on”, “its safe to have peace of mine”. Thought maybe youd like to try it. 🙂

    I love your blog, thanks for taking the time.


  5. Oh Mary, the parable of the notorious Sock Monster! Wonderful analogy… deep and meaningful (to me!).

    “…when I recognize it, and don’t let it stop me, then I am giving life my best and can expect the best to come back to me.”

    AMEN and Thank You for the fabulous post!

  6. Just yesterday on Oprah’s farewell show, she observed that one common thread that unites every single person on this earth is the need to feel validated, and to feel worthy. She took it one step further to assure her vast audience that simply the fact that we exist, that we are here on this earth at this particular time, means that we are needed here; we are worthy, and we each have a calling. When that little voice rears its head in any of us with its negative food for our spirits, I say we tell it to take a time out, just as we would to a misbehaving child! Picture setting that little voice on a stool in the corner, face to the wall and then lock that door! So there, false voices! We are worthy! And we are needed here.

  7. P.S. Rose, I loved your suggestion of using the phrase “it is safe” to begin an affirmation! Thank you!

  8. Susan, I loved your metaphor of putting our negative thoughts in a “time out.” With a 3-yr old grandson, I can relate to that very well!

    And Rose, I, too, love the “it is safe to…” What a calming notion.

    Mary, thank you for being the spark of such a warm, encouraging forum.

  9. I don’t know why it is sometimes so difficult to block out the negative thoughts, they do love to creep in. You are such an encouragement Mary! I love the positive feed on this site. As for mismatched socks, when I am feeling truly rebellious I love to wear socks that don’t match! As old as I am I can still rebel against the “rules” of society! (Where do all those socks go anyway?) Yes, I do deserve peace of mind!

  10. Just imagine how those poor, solitary, remaining socks feel: getting the trash bin treatment when their errant partner gallivants off to who knows where?? Reward their loyalty! Declare Mis-Matched Sock Day and wear them with pride, especially to some place like yoga, where everyone will SEE them. (Loved Shelagh’s ‘Fraternal Sock’ moniker!)

    All kidding aside…if you WANT some new ones, go ahead and splurge. You deserve all the best, Mary, and more!!

  11. Have you ever read The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown?
    Or watched her DVD The Hustle for Worthiness? I think you would like them.

  12. At the “Over the Moon” Bead Shop across from “Curves” on West Main Street in Cambridge, N.Y. – I found the neatest fun socks – “MissMatches” – a pair of socks, made in Vermont – great colorful creative – similar to each other in artfulness, design & some colors, but purposely mismatched because, as the tag on them says, “Life is too short for matching socks!” I liked them so much that I bought 2 pairs! My big ol’ Chocolate Lab took a big ol’ bite out of one of the socks – so with the 3 remaining “MissMatched” socks, I can just grab up any 2 and they won’t “MATCH” – but they will look great & fun, and FUNNY on my FEET puts a SMILEY on my FACE!!

    P.S. – I do get the deeper issue in your “Sock Story”, Mary, and there is also one in mine. Love, M. Rita

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