happiness makes you attractive

Here is to a happy summer!

About 10 years ago, I was asked by a local church, to give a workshop to teenage girls on self-esteem. As the group of 5 girls assembled, it was obvious that their parents had made them come. They slouched down in their chairs and there was not a smile to be seen. Everything about their energy said, “I don’t want to be here.” I was feeling the same way as I looked at them.

I talked about finding your passion in life…no reaction from my gloomy little group. Then I told them a bit of my own story.  Still no sign of life. Finally I said, “If you can think good thoughts, and get to the point where you can feel the energy of the thought growing inside, and then “release it”, this actually gives a “boost” to your energy field and makes you more attractive”. I had their attention. All of them had felt “invisible” and craved attention but had no conception that their thought life had anything to do with the way people were reacting (or not) to them.

None of them felt friendly toward their classmates and they were all extremely self-critical. They were sending out negative, unfriendly thoughts while hoping to get “friendly attention” and it was not working. I started to tell them about the energy of thoughts to attract (or repel), and they were genuinely interested…. had never thought of this before. We played some energy games, I showed them what their energy felt and looked like, when I first saw them. They started to get it. They also started looking better and they noticed this too.

I had initially asked them what they thought made girls attractive they said; being thin, having nice clothes and hair…have we changed that much?! How many times do we think, “I have a party or high school reunion this summer, I wonder how many good thoughts I can think, between now and then, about both myself, my former classmates, and the other people who will be there?”

So many times we think thoughts more like, “I have to lose weight, do something with my hair, find an outfit that looks decent…” Still focusing on the “outer” in hopes of feeling better inside, and yet we all know that these are not the things that make us attractive or memorable or happy. If you want to dive more into the power of thought and are up for the most intense mental workout this summer, a really great resource is “The Seven Day Mental Diet” by Emmet Fox (first published in 1935).
Generating good thoughts on purpose creates a powerful energy that even changes the way we look….. And it is free and you can still eat ice cream!

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” Roald Dahl

16 thoughts on “happiness makes you attractive”

  1. What extra POWERFUL energy in your message this morning. Thanks for your daily inspiration! Have a wonderful day

  2. Good morning Mary! Such a wonderful message! How do you always know just what to say and exactly when to say it?! Your wise offerings make me think of two favorite lines/quotes…

    “When it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile” (from a Rascal Flatts song…My Wish)

    “If someone is missing their smile, give them yours”…unknown

    Thanks Mary! Happy day!

  3. I just ordered this book from Amazon. Thanks, Mary, for more of your wisdom to ponder.

  4. I had the pleasure of holding a little boy on my lap this weekend after dinner at our house. We were on the patio, and my two dogs began to frolic and wrestle, ‘mock-fighting’ but all in great fun. The little boy leaped into my lap to get out of their way, and was consumed in giggles, shrieks of delight and joy as the dogs played like there was no tomorrow. I think I’m sharing this because his joy was so palpable, – I could physically feel his happy energy making his small body tense and burst with happiness. He was totally consumed by the moment and not in the least self conscious of his joyous reaction to it. And his joy and energy were contagious. I don’t think I’ve ever had more fun watching my dogs at play and I will never forget what it felt to hold a true bundle of joy in my arms.

  5. Perfect timing for me to read this blog. My son’s wedding is on July 3rd. My 3 sisters will be there. I love them all and am so grateful that they are traveling from Texas and Penn. to be at this Wedding on the Jersey Shore. For the last few months it has been all about: The Dress (not the bride’s…MINE!); my shoes, join Weight Watchers, Yoga at the Y. Now, as the days dwindle down to a precious few…my brain is busy visualizing what my sisters might say in terms of helpful suggestions ( read that CRITICISM). My new strategy needs to be thinking happy thoughts about each of my sisters and how pretty we will all look and how much we will laugh and dance and eat Wedding Cake!!!

    1. This should be the new mantra for weddings, “My new strategy needs to be thinking happy thoughts about each of my sisters and how pretty we will all look and how much we will laugh and dance and eat Wedding Cake!!! I love it!

  6. Mary Rita, I am so glad you shared the date of your son’s wedding with us, because now we can all send you the very best wishes for a beautiful day full of joy and laughter and sister time too! That’s what you will think on years from now with fondness, and it will keep the inner glow alive and shining always!

  7. Thanks Susan A. & all who share on this Blog. I will dance at my son’s Wedding with you in mind. Love & Laughter, Mary Rita Scott

  8. Your posting this morning helped me so much with a decision and meeting for later today. What you wrote turned my thought process completely in a positive direction and gave me strength and just what I needed to handle it. Thank you.

  9. What a grand thing you wrote about!!!!!! I carry the mail and I am usually a happy, positive person. One day I went into the USDA office to deliver their mail and I wasn’t feeling too good. They immediately noticed it and said “Gwen , what is wrong today?!” I said I did not feel good and I was surprised they could tell. They said “Honey, when you don’t have a smile and say “Good Morning” to us , we know something is wrong! You are always smiling and laughing and make us feel good.”
    Needless to say, they made my day that day. I felt good the rest of the week!
    Smiles are free and we should share them with everyone!
    My Daddy taught us girls that we should do 4 things everyday—Present the best of ourselves to others (appearance- wise), be positive, be friends with everyone, and pray! Emphasis on Praying.
    Treat everyone the same and make them feel good, that’s my motto!

    1. Gwen C! You have a most precious and powerful Good Morning going out even into the evening here in Arizona. Rest your feelings, here, and trust, you are going to be able to just write about them, anytime!

      I will keep you, Gwen C, dearly in my mind, as I keep your thought in my heart: Smiles are free and we should share them with everyone.

  10. What a terrific posting! I mentor a group of high school girls on an ongoing basis and am sometimes at a loss about what topics to bring up. I wish I had someone like you in South Florida to speak to my girls about positive mental energy ~ so many of us allow ourselves to be caught up in the “outer” and then wonder how those other “not-so-attractive” girls/women/boys/men draw people to them. You are living proof that you don’t even need to be physically near someone to benefit from their positive energy.

  11. It’s taken me a couple of days to respond to this post because I’ve been thinking a lot about how I probably was one of those grumpy, distancing girls when I was growing up. I didn’t want attention and actually worked on repulsing attraction. The world pretty much responded by ignoring me until I was 15 and met a boy who was in the same boat as me. We began a friendship that changed me profoundly and I actually realized I wanted happiness, people and experiences in my life for the first time.

    The odd part of this was that I was not especially uncomfortable in my cocoon. It was a cozy place with room for me, my books, music and thoughts and that was enough. I don’t remember feeling that I needed or wanted more and I resented intrusions. When I emerged into life, all hell broke loose because it began a process of exploration for which I was definitely unprepared. By the grace of God, there were some guides and helpers along the way to keep me on track. Still, it was a long and arduous journey.

    Now, when I feel overwhelmed, I can still retreat briefly into a quiet cocoon to regroup and restore myself. Generally, I am busy and involved with work, family and friends and I am deeply grateful for the wonderful people and wealth of experiences that I attract into my life. I wanted to share this part of my story because even though she is a deep and intimate part of me, I generally don’t remember or speak about ‘cocoon girl’. I am drawing a line of connection between her and the woman I am today because I want to thank her for having the courage to break out and begin to live.

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