I like you “just regular”

Esther never has a problem being comfortable with herself!

I started turning grey in my 30’s, and by 50, my hair was all “salt and pepper”. Before my hair turned grey, it was almost black/brown. I missed it, but never thought I’d do anything about it. Then one day a few years ago, I was checking out at the IGA, and the girl asked me if I was eligible for the senior discount. I asked her how old I had to be to get it and she said 65. I was 53 at the time. I would like to say that her comment did not bother me. I decided that night to get my hair colored.

I walked into the salon with grey hair, and came out with dark brown. It was an utter shock. I thought I looked a lot younger. Jack didn’t like it, but didn’t dare say anything. I tried to love it. After only a week, the grey roots began to show. Believe it or not, I had never thought about this. I called my hair stylist in a panic wondering what to do. He said that I needed to get a touch-up stick which amounted to coloring the grey with a sticky crayon. It felt gross but looked better than grey roots and dark hair.  For a number of months, I kept going back, trying things that would make the grey look less obvious; went a shade lighter, got  it “foiled”….I ended up sort of blond.

I was never comfortable with my hair colored. If I had been, it would still be brown today, because I loved going to the salon; sitting in the chair with the plastic cap on my head as the color developed, watching the stylists cut the other customer’s hair and talk about their lives. I even like the way it smelled. I just didn’t like the way it made me look…even if that look was younger.

I wrote this post today, partially because I loved Susan Alcantara’s story (that she wrote in response to a post a few weeks ago) so much. I know that when I feel comfortable with myself, I am more comfortable for others to be with….easy and comfortable to be around sounds very good to me.

I LIKE YOU JUST REGULAR  by Susan Alcantara

“I remember years ago when my boys were young, having to get all dressed up, make-up, the works, for Symphony nights.  My husband was the conductor, so the boys knew the drill – Dad in tails, and Mom in fancy dresses, and of course, a babysitter, boo! One morning, emerging from the bedroom in my bathrobe and hair sticking up all over the place, a make-up free face,  my little son who was four at the time, crawled into my lap and said, “Mama, you looked really pretty last night, but I like you just regular!”

9 thoughts on “I like you “just regular””

  1. I get more compliments from my husband when I’m in my old tank top and cut off jeans and no makeup than any other time. He knows and likes the regular me. I’m blessed.

    Have a glorious day.

  2. This whole post is so beautiful! Thanks for starting my day with Ester being just regular. And Mary, you are just so beautiful!! 🙂

  3. What I love about this message is that we are all “regular” and comfortable in different ways. I started turning white in my 20’s and started having my hair colored in my early 30’s. I’ve always worn makeup. When my husband was very ill, I didn’t want to take the time – and didn’t have the energy – for the salon and let my hair go “natural” – almost pure white. I also put on a lot of weight. My focus was on a more important commitment. But after he passed away, it was time for me to find my “regular” self again – hair color, make-up, weight loss. I don’t know what I’d feel like if I didn’t do all that. I just know I am comfortable and happy being what’s “regular” for me. We can all celebrate and honor our “regular” selves and celebrate and honor others’ “regular” selves, no matter how different they may be from us. Aren’t we all “One” manifesting as “others?”

  4. How utterly refreshing to hear ‘my sisters’ revel in the regular! We are constantly bombarded with media and social pressure to conform to someone else’s idea of beauty. I was a always a tomboy at heart in my younger years. When I was 13, my older sister sat on me, holding me down on the floor and proceeded to pluck my eyebrows because she insisted “You HAVE to do something with these caterpillars!”
    It was the last time they got plucked! Decades later, along came Brooke Shields who made fuller eyebrows fashionable. [The vagaries of style.] I’ll turn 60 in a couple of months and I still love my caterpillars!! Thanks for reminding me how much.

  5. When my children were small, my father got a toupe. My 6 year old daughter would not look at my father.Encouraged to look at her grandfather, she turned her back to him and stated she liked him plain.

  6. Many moons ago when my son was about 3, I decided I needed an overhaul. I went into a store (he was with me) and I tried on an auburn wig. He screamed and cried and wouldn’t look at me until I became “regular” again.

    Laurie G. said it well….we all need to find what’s regular for each of us and then honor that in each other. Oh, the freedom of just being who we are! It’s a beautiful thing.

    As always Mary, a great post.

  7. My hair has been going grey since high school. I’ve never liked how I looked with the grey. When I hit 30 I started paying a stylist to color it. Eight years ago, I started buying color at Sally Beauty, and doing it myself until standing got to be too impossible. So I’m back to having somebody apply it for me. I could tell myself that my dog and the mule I’m riding now, don’t care if I have grey. They don’t live in the real world!

  8. Thank you for the great ‘comfortable with yourself’ story. A few month’s back I was tired of my gray hair and decided to have it colored. It may have been around the time a neighbor saw my sister and asked me if she was my daughter. :o) The stylist did a great job and it looked really nice but I wasn’t really comfortable with it. My hair grows quickly and so the color has faded to the appearance of 6 different colors. But today my daughter/sister told me today that the color differences look like highlights. That’s my daughter! Sister! Daughter! Sister! (movie ‘Chinatown’) After the ‘highlights’ have grown out, the gray will stay.

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