I am here on the seacoast in a beautiful place named New Castle, NH. I took a little dip in the ocean yesterday, ate and laughed and re-connected with old friends. When Sharon showed me my room and bathroom, I fell in love with the shower curtain and just had to show it to you!
I have a lot of history here and feel a need to come back at times to see the faces of people who were, and are, important to me. When I first arrived, and we were catching up, Paul asked me who I would like to see; what dinners could be arranged so that I could re-connect. Then he and asked me if I would like to see C____. My throat tightened up a little. I heard the rationalizations start. The truth is, C___ and I were very close friends and I had cut off communication with her after having my feelings hurt. When this happened, I had already moved away, so even though I never forgot about her, I put the relationship and incident behind me, sort of.
I didn’t know that seeing her was the reason (or at least one of the reasons) that I needed to make this trip, but when Paul mentioned her, the words went through my mind, “You need to see her and make amends.” She and I are meeting this morning at 8:30. I need to do this for myself. A part of my “spiritual program” of life is to make amends to those that I have harmed, as quickly as possible. It has been 11 years which is not “quick”…. I find it hard to believe that I was not ready to do this before, but there is no point in being critical of myself for not doing something earlier, I am doing it now.
I thought that I was coming to the seacoast to swim and relax. I didn’t realize that a part of the bigger plan (the one that I could not see) was also for me to heal an old wound….it is time.