It is time….

shower curtain in the guest bathroom!

I am here on the seacoast in a beautiful place named New Castle, NH. I took a little dip in the ocean yesterday, ate and laughed and re-connected with old friends. When Sharon showed me my room and bathroom, I fell in love with the shower curtain and just had to show it to you!

I have a lot of history here and feel a need to come back at times to see the faces of people who were, and are, important to me. When I first arrived, and we were catching up, Paul asked me who I would like to see; what dinners could  be arranged so that I could re-connect. Then he and asked me if I would like to see C____. My throat tightened up a little. I heard the rationalizations start. The truth is, C___ and I were very close friends and I had cut off communication with her after having my feelings hurt. When this happened, I had already moved away, so even though I never forgot about her, I put the relationship and incident behind me, sort of.

I didn’t know that seeing her was the reason (or at least one of the reasons) that I needed to make this trip, but when Paul mentioned her, the words went through my mind, “You need to see her and make amends.”  She and I are meeting this morning at 8:30. I need to do this for myself. A part of my “spiritual program” of life is to make amends to those that I have harmed, as quickly as possible. It has been 11 years which is not “quick”…. I find it hard to believe that I was not ready to do this before, but there is no point in being critical of myself for not doing something earlier, I am doing it now.

I thought that I was coming to the seacoast to swim and relax. I didn’t realize that a part of the bigger plan (the one that I could not see) was also for me to heal an old wound….it is time.

19 thoughts on “It is time….

  1. I hope you and C. have the happy outcome that a close friend and I did. We were best pals for years until I got married and moved to the States. Didn’t even write to each other. Twenty years later my brothers got us together on one of my trips home. We were both anxious about this meeting, but we INSTANTLY re-connected as tho those years had never happened, and remained BFFs until her death in 2005.

  2. This has happened to me a few times with people I thought I would be friends forever. A few people I have not seen at all since we split. Then some have come back in unexpected ways (Lyme).

  3. Twitter @ Dalai Lama less than an hour ago….. “To control negative physical and verbal actions, it is necessary to get at their root, the mind, and tame it.” Not sure if it applies, but it felt kind of in sync to read that and then read your post.

    Healing an old wound sounds like it could be very relaxing………how can it not be when you, a very special woman, is half the cure.

    Love the shower curtain!!!

  4. I hear your heart in your words this morning and I think revisiting old hurts to make amends with old friends like this is such rare and wonderful opportunity. Since you’re you and you know it’s time, all is well. You’re a spiritual warrior, Mary.

  5. Thinking of you this morning, Mary, and hoping you have a great reconnect with your friend. So wonderful that you are doing this, today, on this trip, when avoidance is so much easier! I was going to include a quote from this poem but decided to send the entire piece… Have a great day my friend…
    On Friendship
    Kahlil Gibran

    Your friend is your needs answered.
    He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
    And he is your board and your fireside.
    For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

    When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay.”
    And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
    For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
    When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
    For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
    And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
    For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

    And let your best be for your friend.
    If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
    For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
    Seek him always with hours to live.
    For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
    And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
    For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
    xoxoxo Marian

  6. You have a lot of love and support going with you this morning, Mary. My wish is for your day to be blessed with the relief and joy of righting something that’s been amiss.

  7. Mary my thoughts go with you today as you reach out to your old friend. How amazing this opportunity presented itself, may the renewal be sweet!
    Love the shower curtain!

  8. May your meeting Mary bring peace and resolution to you both, – you have all your White Feather friends behind you! You’ve set such a sweet intention already, – all will be very very well! Blessings on your reunion. xoxox

  9. Dear Mary, I am reading this at 11:43 and envisioning Light and Love around you and C for the Highest Good. Thank you for sharing this unanticipated “reason” for going to the ocean – the place of powerful cleansing and rejuvenation. And I love Marian’s Kahil Gibran’s piece on Friendship, especially the last paragraph. Be well. I am home after 6:30

  10. You are very brave. I hope your meeting went well and heals you both. Say hello to the ocean for me.

  11. Mary, it can be such a challenge to do these things, can’t it? I am writing this late in the day and I hope you and your friend have mended fences, as the farmers say, to a comfortable degree. Perhaps you are now on the beach with a tall glass of something cool! Sending you good vibes for peace & relaxation.

  12. I admire you for taking this difficult step. I read somewhere that when in doubt about what step is the best step to take, consider what the hardest step is, and that’s probably also the right step to take. Did I read that here? Probably!
    But now every time I wonder what step to take in a relationship, I always consider what option would be the hardest, and bingo…it’s also most likely the best step. Argh. No one said it would be easy to do the right thing!
    Wishing you the best.

  13. It’s now 8:00pm, sure hope your day went well. You are soooo brave for facing this after 11 years! You have inspired me. Take a dip in the ocean for me and listen to the soothing waves.

    Nancy DiRieinzo

  14. Ouch, ouch, ouch! I can hardly read this post. My best friend and I have had a terrible time of hurt layered upon misunderstandings very recently, and after apologies on both sides, and thinking that I could not live without this relationship, I find that my feelings have cooled, whereas she is ready to be back exactly where we were. I know eventually she will pick up that I am more distant. I won’t explain or apologize for my feelings, but I feel bad and it is SO awkward. Yuck. I hate it when close friendships go through this.

    I would love to hear of other people’s experience with this.

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