The question that stops us

Me holding"Wonder" Saturday night...a miracle that I never could have figured out. He went from being a feral kitten, who would not let me touch him, to being a such a loving little guy.(Patty, his "owner" was trying out a new app on her IPhone that takes old-fashioned looking photographs....

Jack and I are leaving for Maine this morning. I have taken a lot of virtual tours of homes in Maine over the past month, and now we are going to do drive-bys of the actual houses. We know what we want in a home; age, size, location, neighborhood, yard. We just have no idea at all, how we can do it. I mean none.

So many big ideas, plans and dreams are stopped by the question, “How are you going to do that?” It is just a part of the way we seem to be made, or maybe its conditioning…it doesn’t really matter where it comes from, there is a part of our mind (some call it the left brain) that needs to figure everything out and will not shut up until it does. This happened to me Saturday night.

A little 2 am visitor woke me up with the words, “How do you think you will be able to swing this move? What you want is impossible.” I suddenly got very hot and threw my covers off. For a couple of minutes, I lay there with a sinking feeling and the thought, “You are not going to do this and then everyone will know that you failed.”Ouch! that is a big one. I am not worried about being talked out of my dreams by others, as a matter of fact, I can see and feel that people have more confidence in me than I do in myself sometimes. At breakfast Sunday morning, I told my father that Jack and I were going to Maine for a little vacation and he said, “You are going to end up moving there. How are we going to meet for breakfast next year?” It was one of the few times when his self-concern made me feel better!

It is my own doubts, and the nagging need to figure out how I can make it happen, that I am most concerned with. It is the boogeyman who lives right between my ears that gives me the most grief, and always waits for the time when I am tired, hungry,or  not centered to start with the questions, comments, little seeds of doubt. If it cannot figure out a way for the thing to happen, it starts throwing around all of the reasons why it won’t work, couldn’t work, is dangerous, risky, foolish, has no precedent. It says that my idea is impossible, and its’ “proof” is that I cannot tell it how I will make this dream come true.

But a part of me also thinks that it will happen, and I look forward to telling the story. I would like to collect an entire book of “impossible dreams” that came true. I could fill a good section with my own life. I just forget this, at times, when I am stretching for something beyond my known experience. It is good to come back to “my part” in making my dream come true which is to first of all, know what I want, imagine it, and then let go (something that I need to keep doing over and over) and trust that each step will be revealed as long as I am looking for the signs.

“The “hows” are the domain of the Universe. It always knows the shortest, quickest, fastest, most harmonious way between you and your dream“. Mike Dooley

34 thoughts on “The question that stops us”

  1. It’s called stepping out in faith, that’s what you are doing with your husband. And I will believe with you for that home in Maine. In the natural you may not have what you need to move, but I’m reminded of the verse that says our Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Our Creator is not poor and we are told He loves to give us the desires of our heart. This home in Maine sure sounds like a desire of your heart to me! Have a wonderful trip!

  2. I’m not great with quotes, but 2 old chestnuts did come to mind: ‘You don’t know what you can do until you try.’ and ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way.’
    Wishing you and Jack a really good time exploring and dreaming in Maine!

  3. Dear Mary and Jack, have a wonderful trip to Maine. Life is like a good mystery novel. You have to keep reading to see how it turns out.

    P.S. Mary, I left a Christmas story on the end of your last post, “our unique paths”. Please see it when you get the chance. Love, Mary Rita.

  4. Mary,

    First of all, LOVE the haircut. That picture is really beautiful.

    Second of all, I am in the midst of manifesting the next “dream” in my life and find that some days the fear and doubt are paralyzing. Everything is aligning in my world to make this dream possible, but I have to let go of a lot of safety and security (and boredom) to make it happen. Scary. Then there are the other days when I know it is SO right. There was actually a day where I KNEW my dream had manifested on some level that very day. I could feel it. And yet I still have to be the one to step off that cliff.

    Your post and reader comments are so reassuring this morning. I appreciate you all!

    1. We will all be looking forward to hearing about the manifestation of your dream…I heard once that the moment you “know” (get that feeling of knowing), that at some level it has, and now you just need to “walk it out”! Sending you good thoughts for your journey of adventure….please keep us posted!

  5. You go, girl! (As Oprah, or someone, says.) Nothing changes if nothing changes. I’ve always wanted to go to New Zealand but couldn’t figure how how or when. So I’m booking the trip (actually, an “Action Adventure”! – scary!) for next year and I’ll figure out between here and there how I’m actually going to do it. Next step – hit the gym.

    1. Yipee! and right back at you Jill! We will be excited to hear about that trip and everything that leads up to it becoming a reality!

  6. Good morning, Mary! I’m just back from our Montana/Wyoming vacation and have caught up on the 2 plus weeks of thoughts that I have missed. What deep, thought provoking posts and comments. When you read them all at once it is like reading a great inspirational book! With today’s post I am just imagining how many people you have personally coached, encouraged, and guided to follow their dreams. To get there step by step…sometimes in baby, incremental steps, sometimes giant, breakthrough steps! There is reciprocity in this as it will come back to you tenfold and more! So I think it is a given that all of your/our White Feather friends are sending lots of positive Maine energy to you and Jack! No doubt. Perhaps the only question is when it will happen as opposed to “if”! I can visualize you and Jack there! And while I would miss my visits to Jack’s Out Back, it will give Mike and I a reason to go antiquing in Maine! Have a great vacation…and we’ll all gaze at the same full moon this evening. And as I ponder it shining down on you and Jack, I’ll pray that the “how” will become evident to you. Enjoy!

  7. Thanks for your openness and courage to embrace your life…

    “put your lips to the world. And live your life”….as Mary Oliver
    states in her poem- Mornings at Blackwater …

    aahhhhh Maine…

  8. this should be your photo for your blog! ADORABLE! thanks for all of your morning reading this daily. Jon Katz is another fave and he recommended you!

  9. I find comfort that so many people out there, even those who help others in their aspirations and life’s challenges, has that same old boogeyman between their ears.
    You really write meaningful posts, Mary, and so good to know no matter where you move to (keeping my fingers crossed for you) that the web keeps you close to all those who really appreciate you incitful postings each day! Helps all of us to move into the new day with a fresh and optimistic approach.
    It is hard to toss that boogeyman to the side, but your posts and those of your readers really help.
    Kudos to all of you for sharing.
    Definitely helps me.

  10. I love the picture of you and “Wonder”, who will probably always be “Wonder” to us. And I, too, are holding you and Jack on this trip to Maine. You must feel pretty light with all of this energy surrounding you! What a gorgeous day to go and I know it will be just what it needs to be for you both. xx00

  11. the main thing is maine; the only thing is maine–now!

    a quote by guillaume cepollinaire—-

    come to the edge, he said.
    they said,
    we are afraid.
    come to the edge, he said.
    they came.
    he pushed them,
    and they flew……

  12. Hi Mary: There is an old Buddist proverb; leap and the net will appear. One day, I “knew” I had to retire early and sell my house. No plan, just faith and the belief that I was being guided. Net after net appeared and I was led where I needed to be. If it is Maine, you will be there. 😀

    1. That is a wonderful quote Rose…especially like the “net” image…very ocean like too! Thank you!

  13. 14 responses already Mary! Do you feel like you have a little caravan attached to the back of your car with all of your White Feather friends on board cheering you on? Keep repeating the quote you ended your post with – says it all! As did Jill who 1. booked her trip to New Zealand no less and 2. will figure out between now and then the ‘how’s’. That Jack also would love to live in Maine makes your intent doubled, and it will all unfold beautifully for you I am sure. I think of the pioneer women traveling west without a clue to the how’s they would encounter living in a place far from home, or military families constantly being moved from place to place. Without even a choice, the how’s do work themselves out, so luxuriate in this process, because you and Jack have choices. I know I will be looking at our full moon tonight in the desert knowing we are all ‘wishing upon a star’ for our dear Mary! Enjoy every ocean breeze for us. Hugs!

  14. Having been raised as an “Army brat’ I can attest to the calling of the gypsy spirit; a new adventure to explore with possibilities unimagined. Just leave that infernal boogeyman at home to watch over your house and tell him if he’s really, really well behaved you might have a new friend for him to visit in Maine!

    “By the sea, by the sea, by the beautiful sea,
    You and I, you and I, oh, how happy we’ll be.”

  15. Mary, Mary, Mary! Your dream is very close to my own, involving a transitional move and then a more permanent move later on. When my husband and I first began talking about our dream of retiring in Idaho (where we both grew up), I had that same 2 am wake up call from Ms. Doubt and several emails from Mr. and Mrs. Skeptical. We stepped out in faith and are coming closer a little at a time. I’m just flying by the seat of my pants, and what a trip!
    Great comments from the community today, have a wonderful time in Maine!

  16. Dear Mary,
    Just want to add my best wishes to you and Jack for happy home hunting in Maine. If it is meant to be, it will be.
    And the picture of you and Wonder is simply wonderful! That haircut is a HIT!

  17. Mary,

    This quote says it all for me.

    The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.
    Eleanor Roosevelt

    Beautiful dreams to both of you under the glow of the full moon.


    1. Jack and I had just rented a dvd on the life of FDR and Eleanor Roosevelt a few days ago, and now your quote! Thank you Jeannie…perfect timing!

  18. Oh those boogeymen, I know them well. However you obviously want to make the move and it will happen, somehow. It will just all fall into place suddenly. I wish you well with your searching. Maine is a beautiful state. Been there many times.

    1. The idea that this will “all fall into place suddenly” is very comforting to me! Thank you Carolyn!

  19. Wonder is a miracle and you are too Mary, love that picture. We can all create our own miracles. Enjoy Maine. Also . . . I love the Wonder facebook page. Cute pictures.

  20. Wishing you and Jack a wonderful trip to Maine while you check out what will be next on your journey through life together. May you find peace and happiness along the way along with a fabulous place to call home!
    Safe travels xoxoxo

  21. You have been an invaluable catalyst in helping me imagine and manifest my own big dream. I simply followed your good advice to a T and the energy came rushing in. You can do this. Quiet your mind and trust your truth.

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