A couple of months ago, my son Tom was visiting with his girlfriend Lindsay, and as we were standing around in the kitchen talking, she said (laughing a little), “I don’t understand why you have such a crappy coffee maker when you and Jack love coffee so much.” It was true. We spent at least $11 a pound for organic french roast coffee beans, ground them ourselves and made really strong coffee, but for some odd reason, it never penetrated my consciousness that a better coffee maker would make better coffee!? We had a $20 Proctor Silex.
I started doing some research and ended up getting this Melita which makes such great coffee…I can hardly wait to get up in the morning. Lindsay’s question/comment changed my life for the better. It made me question something that wasn’t working well in my life. It was a little thing; a coffee maker, but it is sort of bigger too.
I grew up in a home where these kinds of questions were always met with defense. Saying anything that was not “a compliment” was taken as a personal attack, especially by my mother, and my “offerings” were often met by the words, “What I have now is good enough.” She felt so insecure that any question, to her plans or life, seemed like a threat. I can see this in my own life too. The times that I have felt the least secure, were the times that I rigidly clung to my little plans (although I didn’t think that they were little at the time!). Why defend our limitations?
Life is a great teacher but in order to learn, we have to give up the belief that we know it all, or always know the best way to go forward.