A friend and I were talking the other day, as we drove to The Women’s Exchange, in Williamstown MA (another great thrift store), and she was just casually talking about a trip that she had taken with her daughters; showing them the place where she met their father, the places where they had first gone as a couple…nice stories for her children to hear. What really struck me as remarkable though, was the fact that she is no longer married to her children’s father…they have been divorced for some time now, and even though there were plenty of reasons for not-so-good stories to come out, she chose to also share with them the good, to give them a more complete picture.
I was deeply impressed by this. What a gift for those girls to hear good things about their father. It made me wonder how balanced a view my own sons received from me about their father? It also made me question why I felt reluctant to do something like this now. It’s too late for me to take my sons on a ride like that, but I can do it on paper, and in my mind. I had planned on doing this as a writing exercise the day after our trip, but haven’t yet. I generally don’t write about things, here on the blog, in “theory”, but just hearing her story, and making the effort to think in this new way, changed me and made me open up to something that I didn’t even know was closed off. I am looking forward to getting out a notebook and writing down all of the good, happy, powerful and positive experiences that I had with my ex-husband, my children’s father.
“Our judgments judge us, and nothing reveals us, exposes our weaknesses, more ingeniously than the attitude of pronouncing upon our fellows.” Paul Valery