A day to celebrate!

Tommy: embracing life 30 years ago!

I was 22 when my oldest son Tom was born. I had always wanted to be a mother, and didn’t have any idea of how young I really was. I was also completely overwhelmed by the responsibility of 24/7 care of another person. I remember one day saying to my mother, “I didn’t know that it was possible to love someone this much, and someday, he is going to leave home!” At which point I broke into tears. My mother just smiled and said, “I know honey, but that is a long way off. Why don’t you go take a nap.”

When I see young mothers now, rushing around like I did, feeling that huge pull of all the other “important” things that need to be done, I feel like saying, “Slow down. There is nothing more important than being with that little guy who will, before you know it, be grown and gone.” But I can still find myself living in the future (or the past)…thinking that true fulfillment will happen at some later point in time, or that I somehow messed up the past irreparably.

Today is a day to celebrate.  And in 2 days, when I will be, for the first time in many years, spending Tom’s birthday with him, it will be a day to celebrate too. It is time to love who we are right now, who is here, who is not, and know that this moment, right now, is as perfect as life can be. No future or past moment will be greater. All of life is now.

Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was, nor forward to what it might be, but living in the present and accepting it as it is now.” Anne Morrow Lindbergh

18 thoughts on “A day to celebrate!

  1. Beautifully said Mary! I hope that you and Tom will enjoy your special day together and be sure to bring along your camera…

    love, Marian

  2. Just when I think your posts can’t get any better…….

    Have a wonderful day with your son, and may all your “now’s” be as good as that one will be!

  3. Happy happy day to Tom and to you! So precious that you get to spend his birthday together. I love the word, the concept, the meaning of together. A gift for the both of you! And thanks for the gift of your last three sentences…”it is time to love who we are right now, who is here, who is not…All of life is now.” I agree with Marian…beautifully said!

  4. Wonderful words for today! Treasure the moments is what I most hear today Mary. Thank you again and again! As I begin the process of packing up our lives for the first of two moves, I feel, crazy, harried and stressed and then I take a deep breath, do some yoga and meditation/prayer and read WFF blog. It’s a perfect prescription! Blessings to all.

  5. Your mother was very wise. It isn’t “There’s an app for that.” It’s “There’s a nap for that.” Words to live by.

    Happy Birthday, Tom. Happy (real) Mother’s Day, Mary.

  6. all of you, wise and wonderful women. let us celebrate the now for nothing is certain and–and the now is full of rapture. your story brings a choke of memory and a flood of water to my face.

    blessed be you, mary, and your b-day boy

  7. Happy Birthday to Tom. Enjoy yur time together, Mary. I remeber complaining years ago that no matter how much I dusted & cleaned, I’d turn around and there would be my son’s sticky fingerprints all over everything, especially the sliding glass windows. the older woman who I was complaining too said, “Someday you’ll miss those fingerprints.” my son, Rob, is now 33, living in Brooklyn with his beautiful new wife, Emily. I don’t miss his fingerprints because thanks to that wise woman years ago, I stopped worrying so much about dusting and started finger-painting more with my son, and then his sister, Katharine, when she came along. I must be doing something right because they both keep leaving their fingerprints on my heart.

    p.s. it is good to be back; I was in Manhattan, Queens, & Brooklyn celebrating 3 birthdays & a grade school Reunion for 10 days. I missed my WhiteFeatherFriends. Love, Mary Rita.

  8. And we missed you Mary Rita! Fingerprints on my heart! That is too sweet! I feel so blessed to come here every morning and feel the fingerprints of other’s lives touching mine. Mary, you’ve created such a safe haven. Before reading your post I read a very moving tribute by Garrison Keillor on the Prairie Home Companion page to the “sound effects man”, Tom Keith, who quite suddenly passed away this week at 64. So your comments about cherishing the now, this moment, this day meant even more, how fragile life is. So everyone, enjoy this day, November 4, 2011. Revel in its singular beauty for it will not come again. Happy Birthday Mary to your son Tom – have a wonderful celebration!

    • The idea that this blog is becoming a safe haven is a wonderful thought…beyond my wildest dreams really. Thank you for the reminder Susan that life is so fleeting and that we must live it fully now…celebrate when we can.

  9. A mirth-day birthday for Mary and son.
    Fingerprints on my heart (awww!)
    Bookmarks in my soul…
    I love you all!

  10. What a wonderful day it will be – we all wish at times for life to speed up, and then feel sad when we look back.

    I am feeling all of this again with my last child graduating with her PhD and moving to Maryland. Where did the time go?

    Best to you – Nancy

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