I had a pretty irritable day last week. I could just feel that I was off. Every little thing seemed to bother me and while usually a good run, meditation, or nap will turn me around, nothing did. I also had an important meeting to attend, and couldn’t reschedule, so I grabbed a bunch of inspirational cd’s to take along on my drive and after trying to find a radio station with some good music (of course I didn’t; all of the songs that I generally liked, annoyed me) I reached down into my stack of cd’s, pulled one out and popped it into the player.
I had heard this particular workshop recording before and always felt uplifted by it, but that day, when I heard the woman’s voice say, “Now take a deep breath and breath out all of the negative energy…” I thought, “Yeah right! As if it is that easy!” and I fantasized throwing the cd out the window. All the sudden I imagined that I had thrown the cd out, and that some person, who was having a rough time, found it and felt like they got an answer from heaven. I imagined them listening and thinking that something/someone had heard their prayer for help. For one split second, I was that person and in that moment I thought, “I asked for help (which I did by taking the cd’s in the first place) and pulled this one out and now I’m going to discount it? Throw it out mentally? If I ask for help and then don’t even try it, I am, beyond help. I am going to listen to this and try to be open.” Within 5 minutes, a relaxing wave came over me and the ill-will and crappy feelings left.
There is an old expression, “familiarity breeds contempt” and that would have applied to me in that previous moment. All the help that I needed was there, waiting in that little 15 minute meditation cd but my mind “knew it”, had heard it before, so discounted it. Wisdom is all around me. Sometimes it come out of the mouth of my mother, the person ahead of me in line at the grocery store, Jack, the radio, a cd, book or movie. Whether I hear it, and take it in, or not, is up to me.
“I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.” Gerry Spence