“I am…..”

This photo doesn't have much to do with today's post but I just loved it so much when I saw it, and read the words, "Why we don't have a coffee table!" (sent to me by Liz)

The words that we choose to describe our lives are more important than we could possibly imagine. “I am” statements have a particularly powerful energy to them. When I hear someone say, “I am pitiful, or I am hopeless, or I am never going to get better.” I always think, “I wish that you would stop saying that. You are perpetuating the very thing that  you don’t want!’

Words are literally calling into being our experiences of life and attracting to us the essence of what we are saying and feeling. So the biggest question that I get is, “Then how can I honestly talk about what is going on with my life, the things that I want to change and make better if I shouldn’t say that I am having a hard time with something? Isn’t that just denial?” It is true, that it won’t change anything to simply stop talking negatively about your life, if you are still thinking the same old thoughts. Words are thoughts first.

Putting things in past-tense statements as often as possible by saying, “Up until now, I have had a struggle with…..” or “I used to feel bad about………..” can be really helpful with this. This simple change of language, starts to change our belief about the situation, and when our beliefs change, our lives do too.

“To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him“. Buddha

Happy Bodhi Day to all (and Fran is the winner of the kitty blanket!)

27 thoughts on ““I am…..””

  1. Dearest Mary,
    Thank you so much for the honor of receiving your beautiful, handcrafted, cashmere kitty blanket! I will treasure it and so will my kitties. My first thought upon seeing that I was the winner was to think I’d put it away to keep it nice and save it for some future grand occasion. However thanks to one of your past blog messages I realized I must put this out and enjoy it right now. So I will!

    And, today’s message is another very powerful one. Words can make a huge difference in our thinking, our actions, and our relationships with others. I’ve seen that thinking things and saying them can make those things happen. So today, (and every day), I’ll work on positive “I am” statements and encourage others to do so also.

    Thank you for enriching my life and that of each member of your White Feather Flock!

    With love,
    From Fran

    PS The picture is priceless!

    1. Congratulations, Fran! You will be glad that you decided to put it out right away. So many days in your life, going forward, to see something that makes you smile.

      Enjoy the view!

  2. Ahhhhh…waking up to a winter wonderland, lessons from Buddha, and powerful counsel from Mary…what a great beginning!

  3. Dear Mary, Now do you see why you are in the ‘ministry of words’? Your post overnight is a truly a blessing and on the mark for me. From my yesterday’s frustration with the world and the Christmas season, which for me brings up memories both happy and sad, of loss as one grows older, of the crass commercialism of this time of year and as one friend from NZ put it in an overnight email (The grandchildren all have more than they need and their “wants” are beyond my budget anyway.. At our age if you can’t eat it or drink it you don’t need it anyway. I’ve got far too much “stuff” and I really don’t need any more) pretty much says it all by the time one hits seventy years of age. Your words could not be more timely in my life and again, I thank you.

    And something else happened yesterday. I pressed the little icon on the side of your message section wanting to replace it with a photo of my new pup and lo and behold, found that I’d flooded my desktop with your icon instead of what had been there. That led me to explore the innards of my computer which baffle me entirely. I managed to dislodge your icon, found an image I wanted for my desktop and to my horror again, found it fractured into the exact same layout as the icon on your blog. There were icicles of images all over my screen. Somehow, I managed to correct this problem but ended up with a revolving picture show of all my saved photos of family, past and present. What a gift this is for me at this time of year when I seem to live as much in the past of my childhood Christmases as the present.

    Your ministry of words has found the right venue, Mary. You have an electronic pulpit and how wonderful is that. You’ve made my day, my week, the light bulb has been lit. Or should I say ‘candle’? Many thanks.

    SandyP in Canada

  4. Mary,

    Two thoughts I want to share re your post this morning:

    First, when I am feeling very negative and maybe hopeless, it is time to “move up the emotional scale” as described by Abraham-Hicks. This is a very slow, very loving, and very “back to basics” process. I look at things right around me and find appreciation. “My hair looks really good today.” “I love that purple color on that poster.” “Look at the color in those trees!” “I just love pulling up to my house at the end of the day.” Simple things, with appreciation being the key.

    Second, (and this is embarrassing to admit but I bet I’m not alone) I have the habit of running this scenario in my head that usually involves some kind of disaster, usually my death or my husband’s death, or my kid…you get the picture. It is a full drama with scenes at the hospital bed, what the grieving looks like, etc. . Someone gave me a very helpful thing to say to myself when this happens, and it also is helpful when I hear of someone else’s dire diagnosis or drama. I say, very emphatically, “That’s not my story.” Or maybe, “That’s NOT my story.” It really helps me detach from the “catastrophizing” that is SO not helpful, because I too believe that our thoughts create our experience.

    Thanks for you honesty and your blog!
    Betsy Ellis in Minnesota

    1. Betsy,

      You have given me a weapon against my own “catastrophizing” and I was able to use it today! My mom is the Queen of catastrophizing and unfortunately, I learned at her knee.

      I was with her today, and doing my best to be supportive (she’s 94), and she was going on about everything as if the Apocalypse was waiting to eat our lunch. I remembered your post, “That’s not my story,” and began saying it inside my own head. It worked wonders. And what was best was that I could feel myself actively taking control and moving away from the drama.

      Many thanks for showing the way on this. I now have a new tool in my quest for a more peaceful mind-set.

  5. First of all congrats Fran on winning the blanket! That made me smile. Yesterday was such a downer for me. I don’t know why. I was just feeling so overwhelmed and sinking in my own pity pot. I needed todays message! I have so much to be thankful for and I do have the power to change how I look at my life. No one can do that but me! (And Betsy I do know that senerio on negative thoughts.) Thank you Mary and the dear ones that share on this delightful site. Happy Bodhi Day everyone!

  6. Mary, I love the idea of putting things in past tense statements – sort of like snipping the chains of old, detrimental ways of thinking and allowing ourselves to step forward into the new day unfettered and free to be, now, today, on this Happy Bodhi Day. So happy for you Fran, – I’m sure you will enjoy the super soft blanket made by Mary’s hands, and you are so right, enjoy it now and and in all the days to come. – Going to the library today to check out the DVD A Christmas Memory, based on a true life childhood recollection by Truman Capote. Patty Duke stars as his beloved Aunt Sook. The book itself was wonderful, and rarely can a movie compete for me, but this is really a wonderful movie for the holidays I just thought I’d recommend.

    1. Thank you for that recommendation Susan…I love Christmas movies and have never heard of this…I will put it in my Netflix queue today!

  7. I have been thinking alot about the “ruts” in my thinking since you first brought it up earlier in the week. As these things go, last night our yoga class was about changing our limiting mind chatter. So, I have been trying to come up with a visual to set a new landscape/mindscape, filling ruts along the way. It has become a mental zen garden with washed pea stone that rustle softly with movement. Instead of compacting, the stones roll and shift. To aid the sense of movement, I have a water element which varies in strength according to need. It may be a bit of a trickle from a small fountain, a soft rain or a curling wave…whatever supports the flow of thought or the need to cleanse at the moment. I’m really enjoying this image !

    1. I second that Betsy – love the idea of flow, the rocks rolling and shifting. Peaceful, thank you.

    2. Nice work, Maud! I’m happy that you posted this so the rest of us could take a mental picture. I have a feeling this is going to serve us all. Lots of peace in this.

    3. I love that image Maud….I can actually hear it when I get quiet…thank you

  8. I’m so glad I’ve found your website for such amazing wisdom. Thank you, Mary. I’m going to pass your website on to a friend who was asking me about a positive mentor. I know her website will help her… and perhaps she will reach out to you also for a private session.
    Thank you for your wonderful work.

  9. I used to …stuff and stew about all the sad stories in my life, giving them power by default. They still slink in when my guard is down.

    Up until now…I never had glad tidings and positive reinforcement on a daily basis right at my fingertips. Thank you all.

    I am…energized and blessed with this life-changing force found each new morning at the White Feath-Fur family.

    Yup, it’s as easy (or as difficult) as I make it. Imagine that!!

    1. p.s. the photo of the ‘pooch ottoman’ looks far more inviting than any old table would!

  10. Mary, the picture of the three dogs in a circle is what I will keep in my stressful mind. How wonderfully relaxed, peaceful and so enjoying their nap together. Congratulation Fran on winning Mary’s sweet blanket, I can see your kitties all cozying up together on it.

  11. “Words are thoughts first”… truer words were never spoken ….

    love the dog photo…almost a three dog night

    I so enjoy the short story-(48 pages) by Truman Capote –
    “A Christmas Memory” …

  12. Checking in late today after a work day. I love the picture you posted, and Cheryl’s description of a “pooch ottoman”. Keep your feet warm and relieve stress as you run your toes thru soft doggie fur. You could probably sell a few of those!
    Mary I love the idea of cutting the power of negative “I am” statements by changing them to past tense. I am blessed over and over.
    And to Cindy Chambers, I went back to Tuesday’s post to reread everyones kind words, and there was your comment about your not so long ago loss of your little Maverick. I’m thinking they’ve already found each other and are the best of friends, that is a reason to smile. Thank you Cindy and to the whole community, You’re the best!

  13. To Terri Brown, thanks for the post. It brought tears to my eyes.
    Mary, the picture from Liz is spectacular! What a happy sight. The circle of life.
    And “up until now I’ve always looked at Christmas as a negative. Many things from the past I suppose.” Today I will enjoy my blessings and practice the season of the Holiday!
    Thanks so much for your blog.
    Cindy Chambers

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