Getting REAL

Noah helping to wrap the presents

I woke up at 1 a.m. feeling somewhat tense, and decided to read a little from a book by Neville Goddard, that I have at my bedside. I opened to a random page and read,

“What you are inwardly saying and doing is far more important than what you outwardly know or express. …most of the things that you whisper (think to yourself) are negative…” (pp. 169-170 Immortal Man).

I put the book down, closed my eyes and imagined the day that had just happened. Even though it was so much fun; laughing and eating with my family, I found I was thinking critical thoughts about myself. Often, I will catch myself doing this during the day, and try to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones, but when there is a lot going on, I can be unaware of my inner critical thoughts until I go to sleep and wake up in the night feeling bad.

This is a very old pattern, and it doesn’t help (at all) to start criticising myself for still struggling with this, it just makes it worse. So instead I thought, “What affirmative words could I say/think to improve my feelings about myself NOW!?” I wanted something simple, that I could remember in a pinch, and the thought to use affirmations that spell out the word REAL,  just popped into my head. I started thinking the affirmations below, and fell into a peaceful sleep and woke up happy!

I am Respected, I am Emanating happy vibrations, I am Appreciated, I am Loved.

Remember to be kind to yourselves today everyone, and maybe give this affirmation a try. Also, if you would like to post an affiirmation that you like and one that has helped you, please do!

44 thoughts on “Getting REAL”

  1. Happy Christmas Eve Morning to you, Mary, and to all your White Feather Flock.
    Speaking of flocks, an affirmation, or maybe it is more of a mental note to myself that keeps popping up for me is, “Remember to fall back”. I’m referring to Canada Gueese. The way the lead bird, after exhausting himself by the consistent flapping of his wings, eventually, instinctively knows when to fall back and let the bird behind take his place. An energy saving, aerodynamically sound system that works for the Canada Gueese. Just maybe, I can take a break at the back of the flock and let my quite capable daughter, Katharine, enjoy the exhilirating feeling of taking up the lead!!! Merry Christmas, my friends.

    1. That is a great image Mary Rita! Thank you and Merry Christmas to you too!

  2. Thank you Mary Rita for the wonderful Canada Geese analogy – I needed to hear something just like that as I look to the New Year.
    Best wishes to all for a wonderful season that promises, if we allow it, to banish the darkness and let us look for the Light – however we interpret it.

  3. Thank you, Mary for the lovely image of Noah enjoying the Christmas festivites! Noah curled up in your donation basket with the camouflage sneakers is my current screen saver, so thank you for more of Noah.

    For calming affirmations when self doubt creeps in I am currently working to keep firmly in “the now”! I refer back to your post about Wonder when you were worried about finding him a home etc., etc., etc. After you set him up with a warm basket in your garage, supplied warm food, and loving hands to stroke him you decided as I remember to say to yourself, that FOR NOW he is safe, well fed, loved and tomorrow will take care of itself. And it did! I follow his Facebook page with great delight. So thanks to you and Wonder I have a very effect way to counteract the negatives!

    Thank you for posting today,
    Merry Christmas,
    Love from Fran

  4. Merry Christmas to you and Jack!

    My reminder to myself is that this too shall pass. My crankiness, critical thoughts and being out of sorts does not last forever. BUT THE GOOD TIMES DON’T EITHER. I need to live in the moment and enjoy what is here right now before it too ends. It’s not enough to savor memories later, I need to experience them as they happen.

    Nancy (new blog home)

  5. Mary, do you live inside my head? I am in tears reading your posting this morning. Thank you for being so human and sharing yourself with others. This is not an easy time of year for families (and for me)…fractured relationships and reflecting upon ourselves when in fact, most of us do the best we can with the tools given to us at the time in our lives when decisions are made that affect others in the family. I, like you, in the middle of the night, can doubt myself so badly with negative thoughts about myself. Daytime blows fresh air through my mind and thoughts and your message is so appropriate for me today.

    SandyP, in Canada.

    1. yes….was it Maya Angelou, or someone else that said “we did the best we could at the time, and when we know more we do better”
      Merry Christmas to all!
      We can just stop all our doing and efforting and just be the embodiment of love that we already are at our core.

  6. I will remember REAL! Thank you Mary. And Nancy, I find myself saying “this too shall pass” all the time. This is a hard time of year for me too. Soon after losing my husband after a long bout with cancer I had to take on my mother (with whom I have always had a difficult relationship) and the following years have been a challenge. One day at a time . . . this too shall pass. I say those words a lot and also try to find pleasure in each day. Something to be thankful for and enjoy! I bundled Mom up last night and we drove around the country roads looking at Christmas lights. She indulged me in this act and it was very nice! I am so thankful for this fine feathered group!

  7. Oh boy do I ever know that Gremlin under the bed who comes calling in the middle of the night with thoughts of dread and self-doubt. His master is fear. FEAR: False Expectations Accepted As Reality. (just underline the beginning letters and there you have the real meaning of FEAR). It’s a wonderful affirmation when Fear is trying to seduce you.

    Much love.

  8. I too woke up last night and couldn’t get back to sleep for some time. For all the affirmations we’ve exchanged this week about enjoying the season and the moment, in the darkness of night all of a sudden the ‘to-do’s’ loom heavy, will the big meal turn out all right – will everyone be happy, no tensions, and on and on. So it is a challenge to keep remembering to stay calm, let the light shine, and yes! remember to fall back – it really doesn’t all depend on us, does it? I love the Canadian Geese image, Mary Rita. I am sitting here with my cup of tea, the friends gathered here, and loving this moment of quiet before all the festivities begin. Peace to all.

  9. Thanks for sharing this.

    I catch myself thinking “The problem is…” all day long. I’ve started responding with “There is no problem”.

  10. Thank you, Mary, for the lovely affirmation. Sometimes I use “I am peaceful and calm,” even if I have to say it through clenched teeth. Then I think of the “Seinfeld” episode where George’s father is screaming at the top of his lungs “Serenity Now”! That thought usually just cracks me up and I laugh. Wishing you and Jack a very Merry Christmas and to all the White Feather Farm readers who gather here. Peace, Deb

  11. It was comforting to know that I was not the only one losing sleep last night. Sometimes we struggle with life, but…we’re all connected in the struggle, and I think that gives us strength. Thank you, Mary, and to all the flock. Wishing you all love and moments of peace over this beautiful holiday season.

  12. I can share my most favorite affirmation, from a book I keep handy at my bedside by Sylvia Boorstein titled “It’s Easier Than You Think.”
    “May I meet THIS moment fully; may I meet it as a friend.” It’s a constant reminder to remain in the now, one breath at a time.

    And sweet thanks to Mary Rita’s geese visualization and Debra’s F.E.A.R. acronym—I’m co-opting both of them!! Holidays presents from the presence of you all. Thank you for enriching my life in ways that reverberate every day in one form or another. Blessings and peace.

  13. Hi Mary,
    Another well written and thought provoking piece.

    I have allowed negative internal dialogue to take over and lead my life in directions I did not want it to take. I now try and keep a more positive outlook on life and steer clear of outside negativity. I read positive blogs that make me feel good and make me want to improve myself, like your own and those of Jon Katz and Jenna Woginrich to name but a few. I have also started to write my own and even if no one else were to ever read it, it is definitely self-therapeutic.

    I truly hope that you and all your family and have a wonderful and peaceful Christmas.

    Much Love


  14. Thinking of you at this joyous family time and burning the light ever so brightly. Peace to you and your loved ones

  15. I have just jumped into today’s post and both the post and the replies knocked my socks off. Mary, you are always right here with us, sharing your honest self, making us all breathe a sigh of relief that we are not the only ones who have moments like (whatever you’re describing that day.)

    When I think that one year ago I didn’t know you existed, nor did I have any inkling about the terrific souls here who tune into you every day……well, let’s just say ignorance can be bliss because I had no idea what I was missing.

    Love you Mary, and I love all you guys in the flock, every one of you. You help me to make my light shine brighter. A big kiss to all! :*

    1. P.S. The colon and the asterisk were supposed to translate into a smiley-face with big red lips. Guess you’ll just have to visualize it!

  16. Thank you, Mary. Thank you, all. Collectively, you are the best gift I’ve gotten all year.

    (Although my sister is making her famous chicken enchiladas for Christmas dinner tomorrow, so you may be demoted. Just kidding.;-})

  17. I grew up the youngest of an extended and loving family, all gone now, and none of my own. It is this time of the year that the season weighs so heavily, however I will keep your REAL in my heart. Thank you.

    1. Jen, this is my second year as an “orphan”, but the first year I am really feeling it; I think I was just numb last Christmas. From one youngest child to another, I’ll be thinking of you.

  18. …sending a “feather” to all the dear WWF friends…

    a feather that slowly settles onto your holiday events….
    bringing soft, gentle peaceful joy …

    Thanks Mary for the gift of your blog…Merry Christmas to all and
    to all a good night…

  19. Thank you Mary for REAL and for everyone else’s responses today. Together we will get through whatever life throws our way. One of my favorite verses is “this too shall pass” which basically reminds me that nothing stays the same for long.
    Merry Christmas all…Marian

  20. My sons have gone home for the night, we’ll be together again tomorrow, gifts and all, husband snoring in room yonder, sated and happy, – I had to check in here though, my dear friends, – all the gaiety and celebration, wine, food, it is all lovely, but I love the silence now most of all, just the gentle hum of the dishwasher, the lights off, the dogs sleeping at my feet, and oh yes, maybe Santa really is on his way. Love you all. Susan

  21. comforting and timely, mary rita. i can feel the relief when i sigh into that falling- back rythm of the canada geese. here in the willamette valley in western oregon, the sky is lively and full of great companies of canada geese–a graphic reminder of nature’s remedies for over-stress.

    how to say thanks to mary and this gift that you bring to us; candidly and often humorously, again and again? and to everyone with the wff. love to all as we turn our faces to the generosity of 2012. grace, mercy and courage, dear friends.

  22. “I AM Peace” always helps me in moments of distress. Hello on Christmas Day! It’s my first time here, and it seems a lovely spot! I’m Kathi from Mt. Shasta, CA, where I’m a retired educator and active volunteer at our local animal shelter. I found you all via Jon Katz. I have a blog and a couple of essay/comment sites that I enjoy visiting. This one looks gentle and lovely.

    Hope all is well with you and yours…cheers…~Kathi & crew

      1. Muchas gracias! If you’re even beginning to be an ‘elder’ I also recommend Ronni Bennett’s Time Goes By, about all things (us) getting older, with many commenters. I’m looking forward to the spiritual slant here for sure!

    1. Welcome, welcome Kathi! if you are reading this 3 days later, 🙂 Please come back again, – best group of friends ever. .

      1. Thank you, Susan–I’m looking forward to the interactions. My retired life keeps me quite busy but I want to be reminded more of spiritual realities. I’ve been retired for six academic years now & only in the last two have I found new purpose, working with homeless animals at our shelter. Plus I really enjoy the folks that I take a fun aerobic swimming class with. Cyber friends are important, too! Again, thanx! ~K

  23. Thank-you Mary for “Real”. I needed this today when I realized I forgot to get my man a Christmas Card. He had a beautiful one for me. Gifts, family, etc. But I was just feeling so bad that I forgot a card for him. My head was full of negative, self-depricating thoughts. I was tearful. So this concept of self affirmation was so helpful. I let go and enjoyed the rest of Christmas. Thanks for your wonderful blog!

    1. Thank you Cindy…I have had to work for the past 3 days on seeing the good, not focusing on what I didn’t do “right”, almost non-stop!

    1. Thank you Victoria…we had a great time (and I am delighted that it is Monday morning!) Sending you warm post-Christmas and holiday wishes too!

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