Watch what we watch

Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey is coming to our little town to do a show at a local hotel. The show is called Hotel Hell. The owner of the hotel said that he expects to be humiliated, embarrassed and angered. I don’t want to watch anyone, much less my neighbors, being humiliated, even if they invited it into their lives.

We are all connected at the level of Spirit. If I watch someone getting yelled at, or put-down, I am inviting the same thing into my life. We think that we can separate “entertainment” from “real life”, but it isn’t true. Our heads may make the distinction, but our inner-selves don’t. Where I put my attention, my life will eventually follow.

For the human mind is seldom at stay:  If you do not grow better, you will most undoubtedly grow worse.” Samuel Richardson

36 thoughts on “Watch what we watch

  1. I agree. Our youngest son, Max, gave me the autobiography of Chef Ramsey. He had a horrible upbringing! It’s no wonder he is so full of ugliness…it is amazing though how he seems to be a good father. I actually had to skip thru some of the pages of his book because I couldn’t bear to read it!

  2. Good morning, Mary, and oh, I couldn’t agree more with today’s post!

    I’ve never been able to sit through horror movies (heck, I don’t even like the previews), I’ve walked out of “acclaimed” movies because of brutality and fundamental messages of cynicism and despair, and I don’t think there’s anything even remotely entertaining about professional wrestling, hoarding, or a lot of “reality” shows. I’ve been called “hyper-sensitive” and “naive” … and I’ve learned to smile and thank someone for complimenting me like that.

    I never realized my Spirit is protecting my soul from being bombarded with the negative thoughts and emotions sent out from these kinds of things – I thought I WAS being hyper-sensitive and naive ~ after reading this morning’s post, I’m GLAD I can’t stand them.

    I love this quote by Red Skelton: “I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose – to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.”

    Happy, positive thoughts to all today

  3. The owner of the hotel should plant funny surprises around the hotel kitchen – – maybe invite some humor into the picture – like something that squirts when it is touched, etc.

    • HA! Love it, Lynne!

      Or even better, plant “nice” booby traps around for Chef Ramsey: a kind of gentleness intervention.

      Things like bits of fan mail, pictures of chefs drawn by small children, notes saying “have a nice day”, “we’re glad you’re here”, etc.

      Being bombarded with kindness might change his life for the better. If nothing else, it would be a fun project to plan.

      • Being bombarded with kindness is a GREAT idea Kelly! I think that these kind of “bombs” would lead to world peace. Thank you

  4. Dear Mary,
    Why ever in the world would your neighbor subject himself to such bullying? On the very rare occasion I have momentarily watched one of those shows, I could feel my heart racing, my breathing becoming shallow and rapid, and my hands starting to shake– surely signs of unwanted and unneccessary stress!
    What kind of example about civil behavior are we setting for young people who may be watching, and may begin thinking this is an acceptable way to behave?
    Yes, “Watch what we watch!”
    Thank you Mary for another meaningful message.
    From Fran

    • I have the same reaction in my body and emotions Fran. When I was in high school there was a football coach who was very critical and humiliating to his players. The people that liked him said that “He loved the kids.” but that was not what I felt, even back then, it felt wrong. It is the old system; yelling at the kid, or the dog or the horse “for their own good”, or so they will turn out in the end, better, is a very low-energy way to approach life.

  5. Mary, I am always unconsciously looking and seeing through my eyes potential images to use in my designwork; you, I perceive as always sensing through your ears, first and then your mind. So, I see in my mind a kind and sensitive spider, for this is the only thing I can think of with many legs, probing, sensing, hearing, then seeing, feeling, perceiving words which you translate and share with others, a gift not everyone has. That its so varied and interesting is also a gift to your readers. I can see in my mind’s eye, Gordon Ramsey on a quest to further his television programme by coming to a small town hotel, a unique experience for his viewers perhaps…the town may be flashed briefly on the screen, then the hotel owner and staff will be featured running around in frustration, not measuring up to Gordon Ramsey’s specifications…after all, why would he not come to help a small town hotel out if there wasn’t a need to do so. Of course the hotelier will be paid handsomely, this is considered part of the package, so the hotel owner is willingly placing himself or herself into participating on the programme. This, in turn, could put this little hotel on the ‘map’ so to speak…and be good for business in the long run. So, this will be an interesting experience perhaps for the town and the hotel.

    However, I am reminded in older age that I have a choice in what I accept and what I don’t. I would be uncomfortable participating in something like this myself and in a sense I can relate to this because I have a bed & breakfast and I would not want Gordon Ramsey coming in to help me feed my morning’s guests…just shooing my husband and dogs out of the way is all I can cope with as I move around my kitchen like a whirling dervish trying to get six people’s breakfasts all co-ordinated and served warm.

    SandyP, in Canada

  6. Short of physical violence, I can’t think of anything much more disturbing to observe or hear than someone yelling at another person. Not only for the public humiliation aspect of it, but also for the anger and shame that you can ‘feel’ and see in the participants. In my past I lived in an apartment below a husband and wife who argued often and bitterly. We’ve all witnessed a mother yelling at a child in the grocery store. I’ve seen an angry parent yelling at a teenager, and a wife screaming at her husband. It makes me feel sick inside. I think about it for hours afterward. That kind of ugliness really impacts me and my compassion just swells for the recipient as I don’t believe anyone deserves to be treated that way. Demonstrating yet again how we are all connected at the level of Spirit. So I hope the owner is happy with the result as it may be painful to get there! Thanks Mary for making the connection to
    Spirit and our inner-selves.

  7. Agree with ALL the comments and your post, Mary. I quit watching his cooking show for the same reason. Now Bourdain is a different matter….. 😎 A few years ago BBC America had a rather good show (helpful, rather than confrontational) on how small hotels could upgrade.

  8. Gordon Ramsey is blunt to a fault, but I also think he has a heart for the small businesses who are struggling to survive. When you watch the shows, so often the owner wants to keep doing things the way they have but with different results.

    If Mary’s friend is willing to listen and change, it might turn out much better than you think. The key is to listen and not be self-defensive, which is always difficult.

  9. Your topic is always so timely Mary. A few days ago our pellet stove went out and I called the service person to come tend to it. My mother lectured me at length on how I should yell and scream at the poor service person if I wanted to get any service. I tried to explain (again) that this just wasn’t my way. We have gone this round so many times. Mom feels the only way to get anywhere is through force. That is just her way and she can’t understand mine. The young man that came to service the stove was wonderful, he showed me the problem (a small glob of pellets blocking the auger) — no fault of his or the stove, Yelling at him would not have helped anything. I have never found that yelling or embarrassing people solved many problems.
    “If you do not grow better, you will most undoubtedly grow worse.” I love those words! I think we can all grow better with a little patience and understanding.
    Sandy P I would love to go to your B&B, I think you would be a very kind hostess!

  10. I would rather listen to some nice music than subject myself to a program that has so much anger and bullying associated with it. I too don’t think you can separate the entertainment from the “real life”. Sometimes I shut off the news because it is so upsetting. We each come across enough drama in our own lives without adding more from watching a tv show! We want to lessen the stress in our lives not add to it.

  11. I love today’s post. Okay I love all of them. I hate any kind of bullying or loud voices. People have always said I should take off my rose colored glasses. I like them. I shiver when I hear anyone shout at a child, animal or another human being. My parents were very soft spoken people and I never once heard them raise their voices and maybe that is a bit unusual but when I went to visit other friends homes and heard them talking lloudly, I went home to where it felt safe and loving. I think I raised my boys in the same environment. My husband and I are going to the winter carnival on the 26th of this month and staying in a B&B in Quebec, I hope it’s yours Sandy P.

  12. Today’s post rings so true, as do all the responses. Taking it to a different platform, this is exactly why I made the decision to not watch ANY of the debates that we are, and will be being exposed to with the election year upon us. Watching any nasty, loud and denigrating show, whether it be politics or a chef, pulls my energy levels so low, I feel drained. Why would I choose to do that to myself?

    I wish there wasn’t such a large audience for this genre, but I can only influence me, and so I shall. One less participator to add her energy to the sludge.

  13. That old expression “you are what you eat” could so easily transfer to “you are what you watch, what you listen to,”, etc. Our spirits are like sponges and albeit unknowingly, whatever we give our time and focus to, is absorbed. I have never watched that chef’s show, but I am very discerning about what I watch on television, which is practically nothing. Would a person consciously swallow acid? Well, so much of what masquerades as entertainment is caustic and corrodes our sensitivities. Never be ashamed to be called hyper-sensitive. We were given our sensitivities hopefully to elevate our humanity and make of this world and our time in it, a place of peace and love. Such a coincidence, as this subject of yelling at another is what so distressed me on Sunday with my son’s fiance and child, and you have all reinforced in my mind my need to talk with my son. Words have the power to pierce and wound as deeply as any arrow, and unlike the arrow which can be removed, words can linger and fester and harm the tender soul. Thank you all.

    • Oh Susan, how right you are! Thank you!

      When I was growing up, and still sometimes we are told, or tell our children “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you”

      Wrong, wrong, wrong! As you’ve said, words can pierce, and wound, and the damage can fester for years. On the other hand, thankfully, kind words can remain with us also, to be remembered when they are needed.

  14. Mary, Thank you for upholding a spiritual truth…albeit one that is sometimes challenging to perceive. By exposing ourselves to ANY kind of energy, whether it be positive or negative, we open ourselves up to absorb that energy. In the yin/yang of things, there may be an unseen reason for the owner of the hotel to have invited this experience into his life…it most certainly is within the hands of divine order. BUT, I think we are also within the hands of divine order when we choose to bring love, light and goodness into our lives. I’ll hold a positive thought that the Chef Ramsey experience brings some kind of beneficial outcome!

  15. Mary’s words had my mind going immediately to thoughts of war and domination by any group over another. I believe the happenings beyond our immediate world also color everything we ultimately deal with. The psychic wounds of the hideous wars we have been and are in demean us all, drain our resources and create horrendous pain and suffering for all concerned. What can we do to influence the larger worlds which impact us? I think we must make an active stand where we are for Good, and ask to be shown what else we can do.

    • Kathi, I am reading a book, A Long Long Way by Sebastian Barry, of a young 17 year old Irish boy, off to war in World War I only to come back to Dublin to see his own homeland in uproar. It is heartbreaking – no matter the time, the age, the reason, it is young boys off to war, to death, – I read his book The Secret Scripture last week (highly recommend) but this Irish author himself, captures so profoundly in words the struggle of the human soul. Feeling rather sad tonight. Why did television ever get to the point of the Chef Ramsey’s of the world posing as entertainment? Good to be able to Tune In hear! Channel WFF!

  16. The show’s title sorta says it all: Hotel Hell! I’m with you, Mary—who needs that kind of energy, even when its cloaked as entertainment. When I relax for the evening, I want something to educate (ie. National Geographic) or uplift me (a heartfelt story).
    I’ll hope that the hotel owner will make lemonade from lemons. But I don’t need to see them ‘squeezed’, so to speak.

  17. I love the Cambridge Hotel. I know Tina Imhof. I don’t know Ramsey. My money is on the Imhof Family!!! Way to go, Tina, John, their “Chef” and their daughter, Shea. I do not like to watch combative TV shows. But, I trust the Imhofs know what they are doing.

  18. I totally agree…I feel that when I watch these kinds of shows and happenings that I am energetically supporting the behavior. So I just unplug from that junk and put my attention elsewhere. Seems to work very well…Way less stress! Good to know others feel this way.

  19. The images and words we allow to enter our being affect our wellbeing. Uplifting images raise our frequency and ripple out into the rest of our life. Depressing, degrading, or negative images and words have the opposite effect and decrease our vibration. Spiritual food matters! This world seems to be suffering from soul hunger but has no clue how to satisfy our deepest heart’s desire for unconditional love and acceptance. May Love manifested be our daily bread!

    • your words, “spiritual food matters” are soothing and profound…thank you!

  20. Mary, thank you for your thoughts on watching humiliation. I cannot bring myself to watch reality shows where anyone is ridiculed, embarrassed or yelled at. It made me so uneasy and nervous, I immediately turn it off. I am glad to know that it is not only me who does not like this. There has to be other forms of entertainments. I am an oldie, i guess, but I still will turn on “The Waltons” before I will watch the reality shows!

    • Thank you Sandy…I am imagining the circle of love in the last words of the Walton’s when they all said goodnight to each other…like a loving blanket being sent out into the world….i can never get too much of that!

  21. I love the Walton’s Mary. I work at a call center and feel bad for the people who
    yell and use profanities when they speak to me. How sad and angry their lives must be.

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