One year ago today, I woke up and started writing a blog. What I didn’t know about this adventure was so much greater than what I knew; practically nothing. I didn’t have a sense that it would be a “success”, as a matter of fact, quite the opposite. As the first few days and months went by and it started to grow, I kept thinking that it had peaked, and would surely begin to decline; that people would lose interest in what I had to say or that I would lose the ability to write something helpful.
I still wake up, almost every day, and wonder if what I write will be wanted, needed or accepted. Sometimes the words just flow easily, but most of the time, I re-write, re-work, re-consider what I have written. I keep a constant intention to present ideas that are uplifting, and encouraging and refreshing, and yet sometimes my words are misunderstood, and cause pain and confusion.
There are days, many days, that I don’t feel like writing. I don’t think that I was born to be a writer. When I hear stories of men and women who just have to write everyday; who write in cafes and on street corners and stay up all night needed to get their thoughts down on paper I don’t even identify with that. I am a teacher and one of the ways that this is “being pulled through me” seems to be by writing, because even the days that I don’t want to write, something compels me to sit down at my computer and to try.
I am beginning to see that this pull is coming from the intentions of others as well. Possibly the biggest and happiest surprise for me has been the community of love and mutual support and wisdom that has come together here. You, who are reading this right now, whether you ever comment or not, are a part of this creation. I would not be doing this if it weren’t for “you”. I am sure of that. But what started as an idea, presented to me by my dear friend Jon, has grown into a vitally important part of my life. Even with all of the ups and downs, the doubts and the difficulties, I cannot imagine not doing this.
We may not ever meet face to face, but you are more important to me than you could ever know.