Go around it, over it, or move it out of the way, but no conditions are permanent if we change our thoughts!

This isn't a great photo, but Luke is so funny. He won't cross any barriers, no matter how small. This foot stool is enough to block him from coming into the living room

I emailed someone yesterday and as soon as I hit “send” I realized that I had addressed them by the wrong name. I felt a flood of negative emotion and caught myself thinking, “She is going to think that you don’t care about her, that her email was unimportant, that you are a care-less person.” These kind of self-critical thoughts always produce bad feelings in the body.

As soon as I realized my mistake, I sent an apology, and then said to myself, “That has to be good enough” and I spent the next few minutes thinking about the email being received with humor and grace. This wasn’t that easy to do. A vision of it being rejected or frowned upon kept trying to creep in. A little while later, I received a lovely, gracious email back basically saying, “No problem. Don’t give it another thought.”

Sometimes people will say, “I just started feeling bad, or down, or discouraged, for no reason.” But there is always a reason. There is always a thought behind a negative feeling, it’s just that we are so unaware of the constant mental chatter that is going on all of the time (and much of it negative), it seems feelings come and go without our having anything to do with them.

It sounds like such a little thing. Even with some distance on it, it feels like a little thing as I write, but it is the small changes; the catching of negative mental thoughts and images, and the changing of them from what we fear will happen, to what we would like to see,  that makes big differences in our outer lives.

“It is our inner conversations which make tomorrow’s fact. Stop all of the old mechanical negative inner talking and start a new positive and constructive inner speech from premises of fulfilled desire. Inner speech calls events into existence.” Neville Goddard

29 thoughts on “Go around it, over it, or move it out of the way, but no conditions are permanent if we change our thoughts!”

  1. Oh Mary,
    Another post of perfection!
    I made such a mistake yesterday. rather a breech of confidentiality, absolutely unintended, but instantly I felt waves of self recrimination, self flagellation, and on and on and on…. Eventually I asked myself, “what would Mary tell me about this? So I told myself, yes, I made a mistake, it won’t be my last, I’ll do what I can to make things right, and move on! Then I was able to pick myself up, hold my head up, and get on with the rest of my tasks.

    And dear Luke, Don’t you wonder what he’s thinking about that stool and how to get where he wants to be?

    Love from Fran

  2. As I was reading your post – I thought – this sounds like the philosophy of Neville Goddard – and sure enough, there was the quote from Neville!

    What jumped out at me was your stating regarding a reason for our bad feelings – ” But there is always a reason. There is always a thought behind a negative feeling.”

    How important it is to do that digging and questioning and observing and honesty to look into ourselves and find those thoughts – to recognize, allow that we have them and then resolve.

    We need to be alert to those times and take the time to do the work.

  3. Thank you once again, Mary:) I am working on this negative self-chatter. I think anyone that even remotely knows you ( like me) knows you care about people and if you wrote the name wrong on an email it was just because you are a busy person. I thank you for your wonderful thoughts and insights. Have a wonderful day!

  4. I’ve been mulling your post – and I remembered something my Course in Miracles teacher (Rev. Tony Senf) always says – “What must I be believing about myself that would have me feel this way.”

    He says that when we are not in our peace, love and joy (and we know when that is by our discomfort) to ask ourself the above question.

    In my opinion, this so follows what you are stating in today’s blog.

    Many of Rev. Tony’s talks and Sunday services are online at http://www.unitycenteronline.org/
    Just click UCH Videos.

    Some videos are on Vimeo at

  5. What a perfect compilation of thoughts and wisdom along with Neville Goddard’s quote, even the picture of adorable Luke works with your post today Mary. I don’t know how you do this everyday and so well! I think that is why you write this blog, and I don’t ! I went back to yesterday’s post to read later comments and was struck with a vision of all of us viewing those sleeping kitty pictures, all smiling and laughing together…pretty sweet! Love to all.

  6. It is an encouraging thought for me that we all (even sweet Mary) have moments of negative, self critical thoughts. I am not the only one! We can overcome them. Fran, I have made slips of the tongue too and beat myself up about it. What good does that do? Correct what you can and don’t dwell on the rest. Sometimes hard to do but what good does negative thinking do? Thanks to all the Flock for sharing! May we all have positive, constructive thoughts today! One day at a time . . .

  7. I was just thinking this morning
    Why is it some days I wake up and “Life is Good” and I feel
    very upbeat and some days ( like today ) I just feel blah ?
    And now just read your post this morning !!!!!!!!!!

    Thanks Mary

  8. Now I’m worried about Luke. Is he banned from the living room because of some past transgression? Tell me it isn’t true!

  9. Wow…it’s so true….”but it is the small changes; the catching of negative mental thoughts and images, and the changing of them from what we fear will happen, to what we would like to see, that makes big differences in our outer lives.”

    The key: changing of them from what we fear will happen to what we would like to see. Brilliant!!!!

    PS – I love Luke! Hehehe We’re so like him ourselves sometimes, aren’t we? Such small things keep us from moving forward.

  10. I am always trying to work on the negative chatter. I have learned that the first step is acknowledging and recognizing that it’s there and then try to correct it. Even if it is only for a few minutes clearing your mind feels good. Luke is such a handsome boy! Have a wonderful day.

  11. At least you sent the email to the intended person. I once sent one to someone it wasn’t intended for and it was about her and not very kind. It was an awful thing to realize the second I hit send. Some issues were worked through, the friendship survived. Being forgiven is a humbling and powerful experience.

    1. Sally, that is lovely. First of all willingness to work through issues, then being forgiven and recognizing how powerful and humbling an experience that is.
      Thank you!
      From Fran

  12. Mary, thank you for the timely reminder. Negative self-chatter is one of the most destructive forces on earth, I think.

    Luke is so photogenic: he says volumes without speaking a word! I want to jump through the computer and hug him! 🙂

  13. As we all know, the negative chatter is sometimes so pervasive that just ‘catching it’ to hit the reset button is all that’s needed. I laugh to myself when I think perhaps I should carry around in my pocket a “clicker”—like they use in positive dog training—to bring awareness to how many times a day I allow the negative thoughts entry into my mind. CLICK and change.
    Of course my darling dog would come running expecting a liver treat!! HA, she loves this idea…..

    1. That’s a win-win Cheryl! You click and rid, darling dog hears click and gets fed! It’s really not a bad idea at all!

  14. I’ve noticed quite a lot lately that people often preface what they are going to say with “for some reason, I . . . ” – Makes you wonder if it’s just one of those sayings people get into the habit of without being aware of it, or if “for some reason” somehow qualifies what they are about to say, taking them off of the hook for owning up to their feelings? Not sure, but just thought I’d throw this out there to see if anyone else hears that in their neck of the woods.

    I loved what Goddard said about “starting a new, positive, and constructive inner speech from premises of fulfilled desire.” Already seeing it as happening. I love his choice of the word “premise” –

    prem·iss. Logic . a proposition supporting or helping to support a conclusion.

    He also uses constructive in the same sentence. We truly can propose and construct’ that premise of fulfilled desire by choosing the building blocks of vision, hope, dream, imagination, discarding the blocks that don’t fit into that picture. OUT! fear, OUT! self-loathing and criticism, OUT! worry and regret. May our flock continue to build our dreams upon a premise of realization.

    Luke, just jump over that silly stool and take a nap! You are gorgeous, big boy!

  15. Unrelated to today’s post but had to share.
    As usual, after leaving WFF site, my next destination is Gratefulness.org: Word For the Day.
    ” I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
    Thomas Alva Edison

  16. Oh, your Luke is adorable. He seems so gentle.
    Yesterday and today I’ve consciously had to work to remove the negative chatter with some positive thoughts. After four and a half hrs. of pre-op drops, dialating,contracting,more stinging drops,multiple comments about how unusually large this one cataract is…I’m functioning with one eye and no depth perception, etc. etc. Icame home with my eyes burning along with my thoughts. But then I thought I’m finally financially able to take care of this and this is good.I thought of the great outcome I’ll have and I felt so much better.
    My man used my car today for Boston business and suprised me with filling the gas tank and getting it washed and detailed. But…he was yanking at his coat which was caught somehow and took down a mailbox on our street. My car now needs body work and you can imagine the negativity permeating our little house! Well, we love each other so much, it’s just a car and I”m so glad he’s ok. We’re chuckling about it all tonight! An attitude of gratitude can change everything.
    Thanks for your wonderful posts Mary.

  17. Hi! My first time commenting. I just want to say thank you for your posts and sharing yourself with us, your readers. You help me look at things positively and I gain insight into the new life I am living. I accepted the destructive talk from my better half for many years which gave me negative inner voice. Someday i will share with you the lesson of the clothespin. For now i will enjoy your valuable offers of daily inspiration which help clense me from negative chatter and guide me along on my new road of life. Many thanks. Warm regards,

  18. Oh, that Luke! He is such a sweetie! Looking at his puzzled face, it occurred to me that it must not be easy to be the gentle, sweet, timid kind of dog (my favorite kind). Easier to just jump and bark and chase your way through life, but some dogs have a more complex set of responses to the world.
    My new rescue, Archie, just about surprised the pants off me a couple mornings ago when he was bounding down the street toward where a squirrel had just poked his head out through a fence and then ducked back; Archie was getting a little too far away for comfort and I called his name, and he just swung around and ran back to me as if it were just as fun as chasing the squirrel. Needless to say I threw him a party on the spot. A very sweet moment in the complex journey to mutual trust with a dog new in one’s life.

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