Over the past few years, I’ve let some people go from my life. Not that I hadn’t ended relationships in the past, or had them ended by others, but this has been very different; I have “gently” let them go. I couldn’t do this growing up. I believed and was taught, that something had to be really bad or wrong with someone before I could stop being in relationship with them. If they were family members, I was obligated to stay in continual touch, even if they didn’t seem to particularly enjoy my company and vice versa.
This “letting go” started as a simple exercise of not contacting someone if I didn’t feel good about it in that moment. I’d had enough experience with the “obligatory” phone calls and visits to realize that if the energy was not good at the start, the interaction wouldn’t be either. I found that as I started to feel my way through life (instead of making every decision from the conscious, rational mind), and worked on improving my thoughts in general, there were those people who, almost seemed to fade out of my life. At first this scared me, so I would make contact, no matter how I was feeling. I finally realized that if I was initiating a relationship with anyone out of fear or worry, then that low energy would be the point of connection with them and the relationship would always feel like a struggle.
As I let go of the old negative patterns of relationship (within myself) people did leave my life, but more importantly, some of those past relationships have naturally transformed and are much richer and deeper, and new friendships have come, that are uplifting, encouraging and mutually supportive.
When I stop doing things that don’t feel life enhancing, my life, my relationships, my work, all get better.
“It is not necessary that you leave the house. Remain at your table and listen. Do not even listen, only wait. Do not even wait, be wholly still and alone. The world will present itself to you for its unmasking, it can do no other, in ecstasy it will writhe at your feet.” Franz Kafka