A few years ago, I was starting a new venture in my life, and as I sat with a very close friend talking about it, feeling somewhat discouraged that it wasn’t right, she said, “It’s too small for you Mary.” She went on to tell me, what she thought some of my real talents and abilities were, and I listened to her. I didn’t brush off or dismiss her positive thoughts about me. So many of us have been conditioned to refuse “compliments”; To see them as empty and valueless, to believe that we shouldn’t listen to them, and this is true about “empty praise”, but I think that the greater danger is in not taking another persons more expansive view of us, to heart.
I have had people say some very nice things about me and thought, “If they only knew me, or if they could see inside my head they wouldn’t think that.” which is really the internal chatter that goes on day and night telling us how sub-par we are, how inadequate. If someone says that I am kind, my mind will throw up examples galore of how I was impatient. There is a part of us that blocks these higher opinions of ourselves from “taking root”.
Our lives and our worlds change for the better when our conception of ourselves changes for the better, but if we won’t “let in” any new information; any new and better view of ourselves, we don’t change. The people in my life that have helped me the most are the ones who have had, and held, the highest and best thoughts about me.
How about making a decision to listen, and pause, and to really take in, the next compliment that you are given. Take a minute to consider it to be true.
“As A Man Thinketh, FORWARD, by James Allen
THIS little volume (the result of meditation and experience) is not intended as an exhaustive treatise on the much-written-upon subject of the power of thought. It is suggestive rather than explanatory, its object being to stimulate men and women to the discovery and perception of the truth that— “They themselves are makers of themselves” by virtue of the thoughts, which they choose and encourage; that mind is the master-weaver, both of the inner garment of character and the outer garment of circumstance, and that, as they may have hitherto woven in ignorance and pain they may now weave in enlightenment and happiness”.
(this entire little book is available on-line as a free download)