Ask…. and let go

“Mama Bird” Hand-colored engraving by Karla Gudeon. Jack and I took a ride to the R. Michelson Gallery in Northampton MA on Wed. afternoon and we fell in love with this little picture, so now it’s home with us….it seems to say to me, “All is well, Let go, Relax and Trust!’

Just about 10 years ago, I was craving a trip to the ocean…the warm, light blue-green clear water felt like it was calling to me. The trouble was, it wasn’t calling to Jack. I tried to talk him into going, but he didn’t want to; said we couldn’t afford it, and wouldn’t talk about it. I  found this to be quite frustrating (to say the least), and I was beginning to resent him.

One day, in despair over my inability to get him to change his mind, (and in my mind he was the only way that I was getting to the ocean) I went out for a run. Half way through I had an epiphany, “I cannot do this anymore. I’m angry at Jack every time I think about this trip, and frustrated with myself for not being able to figure out a way to do it. If I am meant to go on a trip to the ocean then it will have to show up another way. I am letting it go.” And I meant it. I felt a weight lift and a sense of calm came over me.

As I walked into the house after my run, Jack said, “Bob called (my younger brother) and said he’d call you back this morning. I told him that you were running.”

Bob called about 15 minutes later and said, “Hey sis, I just had an idea. I am taking the kids to Sanibell Island for spring break and wanted to know if you would like to join us? There’s an extra bedroom in the condo and it is yours if you want it.”

It was as if I literally “let go” of the thought that Jack had to make this trip happen, and it was finally free to travel out from me and my “one way this has to happen idea”, and find a better path to turn my dream into a reality.

I realize that solutions don’t always come as swiftly as this one did, …but sometimes they do! If you would like a weekend assignment, how about taking one thing in your life that you’ve been wrestling with or trying to figure out,  and let it go, just for the weekend, …give yourself (and your idea) a little room to breath, to relax and refresh. When we turn inside, and change the only thing that really matters; our thoughts and our attitude, life will show up to meet us on that new ground too.

“He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts”.  Samuel Johnson

25 thoughts on “Ask…. and let go”

  1. Something unrelated to letting go, is my new way of putting off anger (and guilt). Instead of carrying it around with me, I imagine that releasing anger is like taking off a garmet and throwing it away. I listened to Dr. Charles Stanley talk about anger a few Sundays ago. He said that releasing anger was as simple as removing a jacket. My new approach seems to be working and I am a lot happier.

  2. GREAT story! Thank you! Let go and let the Universe bring it to us. Have a wonderful weekend everyone.

  3. Mary, another quote to put on top of my printer next to my computer this morning as a reminder that I am not in control. Difficult as it is, recognizing less than desirable traits in myself are only reflected by the number of times they come back up and bite me in the butt. Then, I might wake up to…hey, this has happened to me before. At the moment, I am sitting on tenterhooks awaiting a decision from another person which requires patience on my part and which, given my ego’s need to mastermind everything in my life, I am trying to put into practice your words of letting go. I find this works when everything seems to be coming up roses; let there be bumps in my pathway, I don’t travel as easily as I might.
    SandyP, in Canada

  4. Ha Ha Anna B – ditto for me- that was a perfect reading for me at this moment!!

  5. Mary, thank you for such a poignant post and a meaningful weekend assignment! Your words are particularly relevant for me and a much appreciated reminder that when I really and truly let go of something that is troubling me….giving it up to that divine recipe of trust and acceptance…then not only do I feel relieved and renewed, but answers or solutions to the very thing that was gnawing at my mind and heart either resolves itself or simply morphs into something else much more harmonious. One of the things I love most about your blog is the chance to see myself in the mirror of your posts and the replies from others…..a chance to feel supported and a chance to grow.

  6. Love this post, love Debra’s comments too, why we come here every morning – there is a message that we each receive, especially for us, wherever we may be and for whatever we may be dealing with, all reflected in our own little looking glass. We are so connected and blessed to have each other, thank you Mary! again and again. . Precious Mama Bird embracing her own little universe with her fledglings. . Thinking earlier this week having seen the rattlesnake on my patio – I read that they shed their skins frequently, to allow for growth and to remove parasites along with the old skin. What no longer serves them, what impedes their growth and health, they let go of. What lessons to be learned from nature. I like the similar idea C. S. Miller shared – removing the garment we hug so close to us, of an old resentment, of a needless worry, of fear or anger. Let it go, let it go, shed the old skin, and be renewed.

    1. Debra and Susan…Ditto for me, too. I sometimes wonder if it’s just pure coincidence that Mary’s timely thoughts come into my inbox or if she’s been mystically reading my mind overnight. Snakes, Susan…I found a grass snake skin shed by the pool yesterday. My reaction: yuk. But put the way you’ve put it I may feel differently about the sheds…not about snakes though…still a big YUK !

    2. Ditto for me too, Debra, Susan, Mary, and Sandy! How I feel, each morning, as I read and ponder Mary’s offering and the farm comments, is joyful and grateful…so in joy and in gratitude, I thank you all! I treasure the early morning warm ‘group’ hugs and heartfelt smiles this community offers from near and far…feels so good!

      Wow Susan…wise lessons from a rattlesnake!

  7. Only “one thing”? We can only pick one? I have so many things to let go of, it’s going to be very hard to choose. . .

  8. Yes Debra so well said …………..

    Thank you Mary……….it’s in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep for hours on end that I need to practice this :-0

    Have a wonderful weekend

  9. Thank you Mary. I definitely need this assignment for this weekend. You are right on spot with every single post. I can’t think of another word to express my thanks for your words, but thank you.

  10. Yes, a right-on story–wish the angels answered mine so quickly! Seems it takes years for the resentments to build, and I don’t see them taking flight so quickly for 30-yr issues…still, it’s all in the attitude. The other day I scribbled out 4-5 ‘issues with god’ I needed to work out & it was good to get them on paper–most of them seemed to relate to feelings of inadequacy plugged in 50 years or more ago, compounded by lost first loves, being orphaned, having more than one chronic illness, being overweight, etc.

    Being a Scorpio, I seem to feel things extra deeply & my passionate & determined nature has earned me lots of degrees & a few accolades, but retirement brings me/us smack dab into ourselves as just humans. For example, I THINK I want to be hired at our local shelter, and two young ones have been hired ‘in place of’ me, yet in reality I wouldn’t be keen about showing up to clean cages at 8:00 AM. (I usually sail in around 1 or 2 and stay ’til all’s done, cradling the sick ones and providing whatever’s needed.)

    But my ego wants to be wanted (as I think my hiring would ‘prove’)–even though the manager has lauded me in poetry, kisses and dear friendship. Hmmmm. So I’ve been asking Spirit to show me the folly of wanting this for my ego and making myself miserable now and then in the meantime!! Ditto for my driving desire to be anywhere but here, traveling in a small trailer all over the West.)

    Odd, this coping as a human! So this weekend, I shall work to release all feelings of inadequacy & let things be and go….best wishes to all & let miracles flow to those of us who ask!!!

  11. The only thing left for me to say is DITTO to every single post on here. Y’all have said it all.

    May all your jackets come flying off and may you find the inherent peace therein. Have a beautiful weekend.

  12. Just a little comment to you Kati. I thought about getting a paid job at our shelter after I retired since I am there so often. After I talked to the office mgr. about the work, i.e., cleaning cat cages, down on my knees scubbing out enclosures that the dogs were in overnight, long hours, etc. I thought I don’t need to do that, as a volunteer, unless they are extremely short-handed. I do what I want and that is to let the dogs out in a field where I supervise them and then walk all the dogs. I then leave and feel I helped and did exactly what I went there to do. You might enjoying the volunteer part and just that, your rewards will be enough.

  13. Thanks, Myrna! Yes, The Volunteer is exactly what I’ve created–I bring cookies, cherries, help to organize events both internal and external, and generally do whatever’s needed, so intellectually I KNOW I wouldn’t like a full-time shift, but I guess there’s an Old Tape that says your monied worth is your worth and hiring would be a validation. I’m unhappily surprised at the strength of that urge to be asked to work…Stupid; I shouldn’t even let it cross my mind and let it go when it does, but how to let go? Intention is certainly central. I know it’s a constant theme in elders’ online writings, how we can lose a part of our identity when we retire.

    That’s a topic we could take up–how DO you let go!?

    1. Kathi! I hope this isn’t the end of this discussion – though it’s almost 10 p.m. in Arizona, so , shhh, the flock my be sleeping, but you know what? In Spanish the word retire, is the verb, “retirar” and guess how that breaks down? Re as a prefix always means to return to or go back, and in Spanish, the verb ‘tirar’ is simply “to pull”. So people if you are lucky enough to reach a state of retirement, it doesn’t mean you are over the hill or finished, – you can simply “pull back”, step, back, – take a load off – simply step aside and watch the parade of life go by, join the march when inclined, at your own pace – you’ve marched long and hard enough already!

  14. This is a great w/e assignment for me also. I’m struggling with an issue (in my head.It’s taking up all too much of my brain.) I will let it go this w/e. Maybe I will be pleasantly suprised how it may resolve itself. I think I just need to get out of the way.
    PS: Mary, We visited Sanibel Island a few years ago. I have a lovely flat glass bowl of shells and urchins from there.My man spent most of his time washing and sunning them to get the smell out so we could pack them to bring back. I’ll never forget how my suitcase smelled when I opened it at home! Sweet memories. 🙂

  15. Susan A.: –tried to click to your page to email you, but it doesn’t seem to get to an email. Would like to chat about ways to winter in the SW & other stuff. Guess I’ll venture here I’m simply when you have a momentito! Thanks for your helpful words to all! ~Kathi

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