fred waiting for breakfast

Fred waiting for breakfast (next to the bunny that I put on the stairs while I figured out where it belonged)

Years ago, when I was single and dating, I was seeing a man who I had mixed feelings about, but was trying to talk myself into a relationship with. I was lonely, he was attentive, and so I tried to push down that nagging feeling that committing to him would be a mistake. During this period, a friend called me up and wanted to chat (I thought about her life) so we met for coffee and when I first saw her, I could tell that she was very nervous. I had no idea what she was going to tell me, but she basically said, “I think you are making a mistake getting involved with Joe”, and she went on to give me her gut feelings for saying this. I knew in my heart that she was right, yet at first, I felt angry and defensive like, “How dare you burst my balloon?!”

But her words stayed in my mind and shortly thereafter, I ended the relationship, which was the right move for both of us.

“A true friend never gets in your way, unless you happen to be going down.” Arnold H. Glasow


16 thoughts on “Friends

  1. I have always found that listening to my gut is the right choice. Thanks for the reminder . Don’t post often but really enjoy your posts. Fred is much more patient waiting for breakfast then my three!


  2. What a regal kitty boy! 🙂 Friends are the things that make life do-able…..thank heaven for what they give to us or gently suggest we look at, even the not so pretty. Thank you Mary. Teri

  3. Timeless wisdom from you today, Mary. Listen to your gut and your true friends. If they both agree, follow the truth.

    Calm Fred is the juxtaposition of me when I’M waiting for breakfast. I can take a lesson from him, too.

  4. Dear Mary, Fred is adorable with his bunny buddy. That look on his face is classic Orange Boy kitty. Thanks for the reminder that following the gut is always the best way to go. I’m currently struggling with a decision and having a challenging time listening to my gut. Your post helps me get back to center and allow the gut sounds (pun intended) to come forth and guide me.

  5. A true friend will risk making you angry by telling you the truth!
    How easy it will be for me to remember that your red-headed kitty is named Fred…LOL. I think he likes the bunny just where it is and what a cute pic.
    Enjoy your day and have a wonderful weekend…xoxo Marian

  6. How wonderful that your friend risked the relationship to share her heart with you. It’s hard to do though when sometimes a relationship gets ruined anyhow (even though later I was unfortunately correct in what I said).


  7. Here’s to friends! My dear childhood friend, Maggie, if you see this today, know that I love you dearly, and you are the type of friend that has always buoyed my up and would never let me down either! You know you have a friend for life when you reconnect decades later and it’s just as sweet and comfortable as it was as teens. We’re like a well matched pair of ol’ slippers, Maggie, girl!

    • Here”s to friends, and especially to you, the “best friend, ever”!!! (And, thank you, Mary, for taking the time to write your wonderful blog. You are a virtual friend!)

  8. Hi Mary,
    obviously the bunny belongs on the stairs where he can socialise with passers-by 🙂
    We so enjoy your cat pictures and Luke of course!
    Snowy greetings from northern British Columbia – Sabina and Alex

  9. Ahhhh…Fred and Bunny, friends for life! New friends…old friends…best friends…special friends…across the mile friends…neighborhood friends…I’m so grateful for all of the friends in my life. I hope that I will always remember to go with my gut and my trust in “us”. I especially love this quote, Mary…

  10. The truth is always someone else’s version of the truth as well as our own, I understand this, but when friends know us much better than we know ourselves, their valued judgment goes a long way, for me. I think, too, that your initial reaction, Mary, is something all of us might feel, too…but sometimes all it takes for us to change course is to be open to hearing another at the one moment in time. If you hadn’t taken action, there would have been ‘no Jack’.

    Today, I took a risk such as what you speak of today, Mary, and I believe your posting inspired me to do something I’d known I needed to do for me all this year. I am certain that I will be placed in a position of blame, again with one of the children I raised, now an adult of 48 but it was a risk that needed to be taken, for me. There is always hope it may be received in the same vein in which it was sent….with love…but not always does this happen.
    SandyP in Canada

  11. Of course we always need to check in with our gut and feelings, but often my true friends tell me what I need to hear and not what I want to hear, and I love them for their honesty, they are simply messengers , and I ultimately get to decide after careful consideration of another’s perspective.

  12. That’s very good advice Mary! It tells me to always listen to my inner voice.
    The photo of Fred with the bunny is priceless!!!
    Have a great weekend Mary

  13. One interesting thing I have observed over the years is that it’s much harder to hear and accept when a friend’s observation goes against something we’re choosing out of fear. The fear comes up and we push it away along with the advice. If our choice was being made out of freedom and joy, the observation wouldn’t bring up that aversive reaction.

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