It’s Christmas morning. We had our large family gathering on Sunday, so this morning, things are very quiet here. Even though it wasn’t forecasted, there’s an inch of snow on the ground and light snow is falling. The world looks very peaceful and “perfect” from where I sit, and yet I’m also aware, maybe more than ever, that “peaceful” has very little to do with the outside things.
After Tom and Lindsay left for her parent’s home yesterday, Jack, Matt, and I took a walk in the woods and then decided to watch “The Ref” (a very funny Christmas movie) but Netflix was out. Even in my frustration (how could Netflix go down on Christmas Eve?!) I was aware that something more important was happening.
For most of my life, I’ve wanted the holidays to be magical. I’ve believed that if I bought just the right gifts, cooked just the right food, and arranged things in just the right order that everyone would be happy (including me) so even though a part of me loves this festive time, the pressure that I’ve put on myself to create outside perfection has also created tension and discord.
This was brought home to me last evening when in a casual way, my son told me that I could have been more open to a suggestion by my future daughter-in-law, Lindsay (about putting lemon in one of the dishes) and that I basically dismissed her idea. I was shocked that it came off as “dismissive” and yet as I really thought about it, I could see that what he was saying was true, and as the conversation continued, I began to see this pattern woven through my family life.
When it came to family gatherings, the image that comes to mind is one of living inside a gigantic clock. I was the “clock-master” (can you belive that this job title is “Horologist”!), and if someone else turned a gear or wheel, they might throw the entire thing out of balance and it was my job to make everything flow effortlessly.
So as I sit here in the early morning hours of a day that celebrates a new consciousness being born into the world, I feel a sense of the new inside of me too. I’m ready to step down, or aside, and let something new be born….something easy. And I’m starting with being easy on me.
Merry Christmas to you all today…..and if you’re feeling overwhelmed, be easy on yourself, and if life isn’t feeling at all perfect, that’s OK too. See how easy you can be today.
“Ultimately spiritual awareness unfolds when you’re flexible, when you’re spontaneous, when you’re detached, when you’re easy on yourself and easy on others.” Deepak Chopra