Keeping my 2 cents…and maybe a few more

Sometimes I help Jack sell things on-line, and usually the transactions go smoothly, but the other day he sold a big piece of equipment to a fellow in South Africa and it looked like the buyer had backed out (after much effort and some expense to crate-up and get the piece ready for shipping). It appeared that he lost a big sale, and had spent a lot of time on something that now needed to be undone.

After the initial negative feelings, Jack and I both visualized the transaction going through (and tried to keep turning away from what appeared to be a lost cause, anger at the callousness of the on-line auction company to our plight, and feelings of helplessness). The words, “Imagine what you want, not what you fear” kept coming into my head and that is when I noticed my not-so-enlightened tendency to want to express my displeasure at being “wronged” by saying things (even in my own mind) like, “Can you believe that they……! I will never do business with them again. They are a big, uncaring company….”. On and on the petty little mind wants to get in its 2 cents. It doesn’t care that this “venting” is not only unproductive of a happy outcome, and really ends up costing a lot more than 2 cents, it just wants to be heard.

It is extremely costly to play the victim; to let others know how helpless we are in the hope of getting them to side with us (or feel sorry for us) or commiserate in some way. This is not the same as facing a difficult situation and talking it over with another to shed some light on it, or see our dilemma in a new and better way. Looking for a solution is a very different conversation than grumbling about injustice.

What we did do, was to talk about how good that company was to work with, how honest and helpful people were, and how easily this would be resolved. We wrote to the buyer with a sense of love and caring instead of suspicion and anger. I’m happy to let you know that everything did come around perfectly, and we even got a beautiful note from the buyer saying that we had restored his faith in humanity.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain—-and most fools do.” Dale Carnegie

 

10 thoughts on “Keeping my 2 cents…and maybe a few more

  1. Dear Mary, Good on you! And thank you for this uplifting reminder of how faith in goodness always prevails. I am inspired by you and Jack and how you both rose to the higher way of doing things……your commitment to positive thoughts and belief in divine intervention is such a motivation Mary. Thank you!

  2. I seem to be in a phase where I am one of the fools Dale Carnegie is referring to. Thank you, Mary, for the gentle nudge in the right direction.

  3. Staying in the victim mentality just keeps us in chains really, doesn’t it? And the key to unlock ourself from this perspective is always within reach. So glad for your happy outcome and that the buyer took the time to write a personal note to you. That had to be most gratifying!

  4. I look forward to your positive insight every day Mary! Thank you! Linda On Jan 30, 2013 8:29 AM, “White Feather Farm” wrote:

    > ** > Mary Muncil from White Feather Farm posted: “Sometimes I help Jack sell > things on-line, and usually the transactions go smoothly, but the other day > he sold a big piece of equipment to a fellow in South Africa and it looked > like the buyer had backed out (after much effort and some expense to > crate-up”

  5. Perfect timing for me, Mary! Spewing my 2 cents, changing my 2 cents, keeping my 2 cents…all considerations for me during the past 48 hours. So far I’ve changed them (for the better) in one circumstance and kept them (so far) in another. And it occurs to me that rather than let those 2 cents fester and ‘fight’ to be heard, I’ll consider them 2 cents to throw into the metaphorical fountain and make a wish…a positive thought…for something better, brighter, lighter, joyful…ahhhh…that feels better already!

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