A few years ago, I was having trouble with someone in my life. It felt like I couldn’t get free of this relationship even though it didn’t seem to be serving either one of us any longer. I tried everything I could think of, “blessing and releasing”, not returning phone calls in a timely manner, even writing a letter saying basically “let us part in peace!” and burning it as a symbol of release…nothing. It stuck to me like a barnacle.
The harder I tried to release it, the more it seemed to be there, to the point where I woke up in the night wondering what was going on. Had I missed something? Maybe I should be more loving? Maybe I’ve not been understanding enough? Maybe I need to be more giving? On and on, the questions and the concerns about my inadequacy to make it a happy relationship persisted, making me more and more unhappy.
One day I heard a voice in my mind and it said this: “Do not think about this relationship and it will go away.” As simple as this sounded, it made me realize that I had, in fact, been thinking about it/her night and day. Even when I wasn’t talking to her, I was thinking about (and dreading) the next time.
I was startled to realize that this person occupied my mind in such a big way, and that it was my thinking holding her in place. She wasn’t interjecting herself into my brain without my permission, I was responsible for this! I began (to attempt) to not think about the relationship, which sounds simple but it wasn’t. Thinking about it, trying to figure it out, talking about it, and mulling it over in my mind, had become a habit. For the first few weeks, nothing changed except my noticing that I was thinking about her again.
Eventually I did stop thinking about her and “things” did change. One day, I noticed that I hadn’t received any emails or phone calls from her in quite some time (and then I had to re-double my efforts to not start wondering why she hadn’t contacted me!…the mind can be a crazy thing sometimes).
Now, when the occasional thought of that relationship crosses my mind, there isn’t any negative charge at all. I can truly say that I wish her all the best. Freedom is never found on the outside first, it must come from within.
“When you find some unwanted thing (in life) that you want to shout ‘NO’ at, shout briefly, and then turn your attention to the thing you do want. The harder you push against anything, the more you attract its essence. Any attention (to anything) is a practicing of the vibration that will bring it unto you. The key is to not give any attention to unwanted things.” The teachings of Abraham , Esther Hicks