I prefer….

The view as I opened the door to my room at our current B and B! www.averaclarke.com

The view as I opened the door to my room at our current B and B…..I love this!                            www.averaclarke.com

There’s a lot of  confusion about desire. Some people believe that the only way to be happy is to have no desires at all; to take what is given and never expect more or different. Sometimes, unrealized desire seems too painful to endure …why want something that is impossible to realize? Others feel they must get everything that they want, in just the way they want it, to be happy. I’ve been on both ends of this spectrum in my life, and what I have found is neither way has made me happy.

I believe that desire is a Spiritual gift, and just like all gifts, it can be ignored or misused, but if we unlock it, open it up and learn from it, it will expand our worlds beyond measure.

When I see someone totally enjoying any part of their life, whether that be biking 50 miles a day, eating in an elegant French restaurant and savoring each bite, laughing with a friend, peacefully meditating, playing with a dog…I too am uplifted. Loving what we love (not what we think we should love, or someone else loves) is what makes us unique.

I have strong preferences and I appreciate comfort and luxury, gourmet food and quiet nights, but I know that these things do not make me happy. What I have learned (and am still learning) is to hold my desires loosely and not become disturbed when my outer world doesn’t look exactly like I thought it would.

I have preferences, but whenever I become disturbed by them, I know that they are possessing me (instead of me be guided by them) and I have things backward. But it doesn’t mean that I give up loving what I love. Desire is a gift leading us to more life, so no matter what is happening on the outside, I try to keep inwardly peaceful knowing that in some strange and wonderous way, life is unfolding perfectly and will soon burst upon me in a completely delightful way!

You are precisely as big as what you love, and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.” Robert Wilson



19 thoughts on “I prefer….

  1. Mary, your blog is so helpful to me. Caring for two elderly parents in separate houses, I have been overwhelmed and angry more than I can say; one day, driving to errands for both of them, getting angrier and angrier, I suddenly thought: why not do this with happiness? it is your messages about your anger and how you chose to deal with it that helped me. What a difference that made! instead of grumbling, I was smiling at everyone and spreading sunshine. You have shown me that I have a choice. Thank you.

  2. Mary, your uplifting (once again) message, and the beautiful pink and blue sky out my living room window have made my choice simpler today…..I will be grateful and enjoy this day, and the wonders big or small that will unfold. LOVE your view, someone loves attention to detail in their B&B. XXO

  3. WOW! Opening your door and seeing a white rabbit! Oh the significance of that! Such a powerful and wonderful spirit guide. While your geographic trip may be coming to a close, it seems as if the invitation to a much deeper journey has begun. I love white bunnies and all they symbolize. I have a painting of one by a local artist in our bedroom…thanks for this wonderful post and quote. Sending you a big big knowing smile, love and hugs!

  4. Love the quote! I do not want to become this older, cranky woman who allows small annoyances to deter me from joy. Two days ago I was given a gorgeous silver French lop earred bunny for my grandson to enjoy…at my house! My animals require lots of care and love, but I derive such happiness in caring for them, even the newest addition who throws hay onto my kitchen floor! I look forward to your blogs, Mary. Thank you.

  5. Dear Mary, what a wonderful quote and message this morning! Desire….I never thought of it as a spiritual gift. Thank you for that. I’m so glad your bunny room was a delightful surprise and a welcome retreat. Sending you much love and safe return from your wonderful trip.

  6. If I opened that door to the B&B bedroom, I would be instantly enchanted and would want to spend time there, curled up with cups of tea and a great book, especially if there was rain beating against the window! I have become very big on gratitude (within myself) and I can hear myself sending out thanks upon going into that room.

    Methinks your trip has been a blessing of unexpected gifts, Mary. So glad you ‘journeyed’ and will be glad to hear you’re home safe and sound (I had to re-type ‘safe,’ because I hit the wrong key and typed ‘sage.’ Freudian slip?) 🙂

  7. Mary Mary, thank you so much as always! I like the distinction you make in “having preferences”. Your open mind and generous ability to share what you learn are sending energy ripples through my “pond”. I am grateful to you and grateful for that fabulous room you were met with at the B & B! Love and hugs on your journey.

  8. What a wonderful room this is Mary, hope you are enjoying every moment there…it is warm, inviting, and I can picture you there all cozy and with a smile on your face….an unexpected surprise!
    xoxo Marian

  9. I also never thought of desire as a spiritual gift as I was raised to not desire too much in life. I’m getting over that though and have learned to put my desires out into the universe and see what shows up. I’m usually pleased and content. Many thanks to all of you for your personal comments that I enjoy reading.

  10. Oh! I really like that, Dreama – “sending energy ripples through my pond!” That’s what Mary’s messages do – all over this big ‘pond’ of the States and beyond. The lovely word ‘abundance’ kept coming to mind as I read Mary’s post. It’s as much a quality of the heart as a list of material things which can be taken away in an instant. To feel life abundantly, big wide open heart – this is a wonderful message today Mary. Thank you. And perfect quote, like a cherry on top of the sundae! I never thought of being annoyed in quite that way – don’t let the small stuff get us down. We are so much bigger than that. As big as what we love – Safe (and sage!) journey home – good one, Suzanne!

  11. Mary, thank you for sharing bits of your outer journey and wonderful fragments of your inner journey. Both feel like a blessing to me. I am so grateful for the depth of meaning with which you are connected and your wonderful ability to share it with us.

  12. Today I read the message from White Feather Farm and so many different images came to my mind. I am still learning how to live and be at peace with what I have chosen. Most times it is not difficult and then I think I have read that somehow I have not done enough, been enough, thought enough the correct way, etc. Then I ask myself, “How can I hear what they are saying if my own agenda is constantly running?” Maybe my answer is to listen with no agenda – sort of like meditating and if the words evoke a loving image they will enter and help transform me to a healthier version of myself. Thank you Mary for allowing this to begin.

  13. Desires mostly got me into trouble when I was younger, but now at the ripe old of 64, it’s little pleasures that make each day better: a kitten under the covers; stories of courage; contact with a dear but distant friend. Let Spirit shine on all we do…

  14. Mary, Thank you for the postcard! :o) What a lovely B&B – sounds like they treat their guests well. In winter weather it’s even nice to think about such a place. Enjoy the rest of your vacation. Love this quote:
    “You are precisely as big as what you love, and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.” Robert Wilson

  15. I, too, love the last part of the Robert Wilson quote…that much I understand. I’m not sure I fully understand the first part other than being loving towards those who are sometimes difficult to love, is not always easy.
    I, too, love the rabbit. What a wonderfully welcoming entrance to a B&B room. I will look it up on the internet.
    Sandy P, in Canada

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