There’s a lot of confusion about desire. Some people believe that the only way to be happy is to have no desires at all; to take what is given and never expect more or different. Sometimes, unrealized desire seems too painful to endure …why want something that is impossible to realize? Others feel they must get everything that they want, in just the way they want it, to be happy. I’ve been on both ends of this spectrum in my life, and what I have found is neither way has made me happy.
I believe that desire is a Spiritual gift, and just like all gifts, it can be ignored or misused, but if we unlock it, open it up and learn from it, it will expand our worlds beyond measure.
When I see someone totally enjoying any part of their life, whether that be biking 50 miles a day, eating in an elegant French restaurant and savoring each bite, laughing with a friend, peacefully meditating, playing with a dog…I too am uplifted. Loving what we love (not what we think we should love, or someone else loves) is what makes us unique.
I have strong preferences and I appreciate comfort and luxury, gourmet food and quiet nights, but I know that these things do not make me happy. What I have learned (and am still learning) is to hold my desires loosely and not become disturbed when my outer world doesn’t look exactly like I thought it would.
I have preferences, but whenever I become disturbed by them, I know that they are possessing me (instead of me be guided by them) and I have things backward. But it doesn’t mean that I give up loving what I love. Desire is a gift leading us to more life, so no matter what is happening on the outside, I try to keep inwardly peaceful knowing that in some strange and wonderous way, life is unfolding perfectly and will soon burst upon me in a completely delightful way!
“You are precisely as big as what you love, and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.” Robert Wilson