Presume perfection

Fred on the radiator (with his head resting on the pot of wheat grass)

Fred on the radiator (with his head resting on the pot of wheat grass)

Maybe one of the craziest thoughts that I’ve had in my life (and I’ve had many) is, “I should be further along than I am”. It doesn’t matter if this thought comes in response to me thinking about my work, exercise, current project, money, spirituality, situation with health, relationships, …the list can be endless, and the thought always leaves me with the same discouraged and deflated feeling: my life doesn’t quite measure up.

What I now know is that when a thought makes me feel that way, it is untrue.

I may have believed it for all of my life, and everyone around me may believe it too, but it is not the Truth of my being, and so my inner self, my Divine connection, is letting me know that my thinking is off, and this is felt by inner conflict (either in my body, emotions or both).

How could I possibly not be far enough along in any area of my life?! This presumes that there have been an infinite number of Mary Muncil’s (currently living and ones who have come before me) marching along like dolls on an assembly line, all being inspected at certain quality control check points to see if they pass. The thought that I am not far enough along presumes that I’m approaching one of these, and am about to fail, and in that moment, the thought terrorizes me. It also presumes that my unique life experiences, with all of the twists and turns, successes and failures, have been of little or no value, compared to……

And that is the crux of the matter. Compared to. How could one of us be compared to anyone else, and what is the value in that? Comparing is a bad habit of the egoic mind, period. It is a way for the ego to feel temporarily superior or inferior to…. someone always comes out on top, which means someone else is always underneath.

Comparing (judging) has been used forever to motivate, push and prod people along, but like any archaic tool, there comes a time when it should be retired.

No one could be better at being me than me. No one could be better at being you than you. No human being could be further along your path of being the unique you, than you. You are right where you are supposed to be. You are the perfect you.

Every man is more than just himself; he also represents the unique, the very special and always significant and remarkable point at which the world’s phenomena intersect, only once in this way, and never again.” Hermann Hesse

30 thoughts on “Presume perfection

  1. Thank you, I had literally just been thinking I wasn’t far enough along. What a good reminder since I know I had just “forgotten” how perfect I am for this moment.

    • Thank you Linda! I love it when that happens. Sending you thoughts of perfection today as you soar along your path!

    • There is a powerful verse from Christian scripture that says, “I believe. Help me with my unbelief!”…I always loved that. I think we all struggle at times to believe the good. Sending you thoughts of ease, peace and perfection today Charlotte

  2. Dear Mary, thank you! I really needed to hear this wonderful message this morning…so well written. I have been struggling with an internal worry…back and forth with many self-critical judgements. Your reminder helped me see that it is my own judgements and feelings of not measuring up to my own ill-perceived expectations that are the real reason for my struggle. Your clarity, wisdom and refreshing honesty always touch my heart and uplift my soul.

    • Thank you Debra for your insights and lovely spirit…Sending thoughts of happiness and light to you today!

  3. This came at the perfect time! I was interested in another job with the company and it seemed like a good match, until they asked when I would finish my degree. It will be about 2 years, so I definitely felt like I should be further along.
    Then I remembered that most people here haven’t spent years working for an art gallery, renovating houses and training horses, so I wasn’t exactly wasting my time. 🙂 Thanks for the post, open, insightful and timely as always!

    • Thank you for your wonderful comment, 2 Punk Dogs! (love that name!)!

    • I love the way we connect here …each one contributing something that is needed by others…perfect! Thank you Virginia!

  4. Such an encouraging message Mary, to embrace ourselves wherever we are on OUR path, and find meaning and purpose in each day. I’ve often thought of the phrases so often used about an “untimely death” or “she died too young”, as if more years are necessarily better. Hesse’s quote would seem to negate that. It is not how many years we live, but how we uniquely intersect as he put it, with the time in which we have come to live upon this earth. Think of Anne Frank in her few years and how her spirit lives on. So it’s not all about marching forward on an assembly line (like that image!), but being our best selves, just for today, wherever we may be. And how lucky we are to be able to check in with each other, and find reinforcement, rest, and reassurance. Thank you Mary!

  5. Mary Muncil…..you feel like a friend. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your vulnerabilities. Makes me feel like I’m not the only one.

  6. Sometimes I find myself focusing way too much on productivity and/or progress. What did I do today? What did I accomplish? How far did I go…or grow? When really, this very moment is perfect…it is perfect…and my arbitrary measuring stick gets put away…and I love myself just the way I am!

  7. “What I now know is that when a thought makes me feel that way (deflated, discourgaged), it is untrue.” I think those words are very true and I will remember them.

    • You are most welcome Cindy! Gratitude being sent back your way this morning.

  8. A great post! I will print it out and keep it tucked in a book on the bedside table. Definitely one to read again after a tough day. Thank you Mary.

    • I really appreciate your comment Jackie and send good thoughts your way today for happy surprises!

  9. If you ever again have a moment of doubt that you are being the perfect you, Mary, all you need to do is review this post and the comments that follow it. Your growth, perception, and insight inspire the rest of us immeasurably, and, thanks to you being you, they dovetail magically, generously, at just the right time, in just the right way, to help the rest of us be our perfect selves as well. If that ain’t cosmic perfection, what is? Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    • Well, thank you!….I love your words, “dovetail magically”…I’ll carry this image with me today

  10. One of the best things about coming here every day is that there is no judgement, and in the world we live in we are constantly bombarded with it. Heavens, there is no end to entertainment featuring judgement of others. I am thankful for the off button! But mostly I am grateful for you Mary, and the good people who prefer your positive message. Thank you for today’s post.

  11. This is a very comforting message, Mary, and one I need to hear. I love the thought of being exactly where I’m supposed to be in my life. There are days when I have my doubts.

  12. I grew up in an era where thinking about oneself was not only discouraged but thought to encourage self-centeredness. And I am a woman. As a young girl I remember my mother saying: smile at people; smile. I wondered why that was important for her to say that but it’s embedded in my brain so it happened. And then came times in my life where trouble happened, serious trouble with a husband with a mental illness that I knew nothing about. And it was strongly indicated that this ‘aspect’ be kept in the closet, swept under the rug and it was not talked about; thus no support given. My life continued, until one day, medically reacting to anesthetics, I became unwell. And that led me to a journey that thankfully has not ended yet…a move to the country and better quality air and therapists, my choice, to lessen the load on my immune system and in so doing, learning to open up, deal with things, learn to try and love myself. The last is a constant, ongoing challenge in the sense that I am allowed to think about myself in positive terms, I’m allowed to take care of myself in nurturing ways, a complete turnaround from what I was taught growing up. Perfect, no, perfection, well, I would argue that perfection is hard to achieve. Nevertheless, I have learned to take care of myself in a more nurturing way and that’s a big step from being taught that thinking about oneself led to self-absorption & self-centeredness. There is a difference. It’s good to have this discussion, Mary,
    SandyP a day late in Canada

  13. Did you read my mind?! Thank you for your wisdom. Now if I can only bury the “I don’t measure up” bit with your words.

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