A new way of seeing is born

Luke wants me to play with him, but is patiently waiting!
Luke wants me to play with him, but is patiently waiting for me to finish writing.

I was listening to a CD by Eckhart Tolle yesterday. He was talking about the questions that get submitted (for him to answer) during the retreats he leads, pointing out that labeling anything as “mine” tends to attach us to the thing, and then we (our egos) take it personally. If my question isn’t chosen, I might feel dismissed, or if it is chosen and someone says, “What a great question!” then I feel proud…as if the question is me!

I thought about this attachment of myself to objects, thoughts, gifts, and even my body, all day yesterday, and woke up with the thought that I would like to begin looking at my world or I could say, the world, in a new way, without personal attachment to things outside of me. And by me, I don’t mean only my body or my thoughts or posessions…these are not the true me anyway. They are, at best, temporary forms, but this is a good place to start.

Have you ever brought a dish to a potluck and had no one say anything nice about it, and ended up feeling bad? I have.

Have you ever purchased a new dress or gotten a new hair cut, and had no one really notice, or even hear someone say they didn’t like “it” and found that you felt bad? I have.

Have you ever written something or asked a question and had someone call it dumb, and felt terrible? I have.

The list could go on and on.

I do wonder how many times (hundreds of thousands?!) that I have done this; attached my sense of Self, my value, my worth, to an object, or a thought, or even a person’s (usually a relative’s) behavior.

This is what I believe is meant by the words, “We must die to the old self to be reborn in the new”. The old self doesn’t know who it really is. It is limited in the extreme. It is all egoic mind. It thinks about itself, its problems, its objective world, constantly. It is always worried, planning, afraid, on alert.

We are all so much larger than our egoic minds believe. We really are infinite beings, all capable of realizing the Truth of our being, but to do so, we need to realize the larger dimension of Self.

I am here in a body, but I am not my body. I have thoughts, but they are not me.  When I let go of the old concept of  myself as a limited being, confined to only what you can relate to through the senses, I naturally expand. …I let myself out of the box labeled, “I am only what you see, what I own, what I create, read, touch, hear, think…” No. These things are just the tip of the iceberg of magnificent you.

Thinking isolates a situation or event and calls it good or bad, as if it had a separate existence. Through excessive reliance on thinking, reality becomes fragmented. This fragmentation is an illusion, but it seems very real while you are trapped in it. And yet the universe is an indivisible whole in which all things are interconnected, in which nothing exists in isolation. ” Echart Tolle, from “A New Earth, Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.

41 thoughts on “A new way of seeing is born”

  1. Thank you. Mary, for your Easter message about renewal and rebirth. I have been on the path of letting go of attachment for a long time and am humbled every day with the ways I still become attached. “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” Letting go, letting go, letting go……


  2. Thank you Mary – what is particularly important for me in your post today is:
    I do wonder how many times (hundreds of thousands?!) that I have done this; attached my sense of Self, my value, my worth, to an object, or a thought, or even a person’s (usually a relative’s) behavior.

    When it is really in fact, my own projection on the situation! Again, the old mirror with that eternal question.

    1. Lynne, I can more than relate to what you’ve said here with a relative’s behaviour…it’s not easy to stop seeing ourselves in other’s eyes no matter how much we think it doesn’t matter…it does.
      SandyP…good post, Mary and good responses.

    2. Thank you Lynne. After I wrote this, I thought, “but you knew that Mary” (the idea that I’d attached my sense of self to things)..but I saw it in a new way the other day and it was as if my eyes opened a little wider.

  3. Thanks Mary ~ I needed this message today as I was feeling sad about the reaction of a friend to something. A sweet picture of Luke waiting to play ~ he’s beautiful. A happy Easter to you!

    1. anything with coffee is better! (the words of a true coffee addict speaking)

  4. Obviously i attach to things. As I continue to declutter my surroundings of my stuff, it’s good to be reminded that these things are not who I am… I like to think that they are only with me temporarily and now it’s time to pass them along.

    Yes, I think we all feel bad when someone doesn’t say they like our new hair style, our lovely new dress, etc…maybe we should look in the mirror and tell ourselves how we think we look and never mind what others do or don’t say.

    1. …yes, and also I’ve been looking in the mirror and saying, “It doesn’t matter what I look like, how am I looking at the world?”…this has been an interesting change for me.

  5. For some reason, today’s post made me think of a line from the movie “Life of Pi”. At the end of the movie the young man hearing this incredible story, says, ” what does it all mean?”. The narrator says back to him, “why does it have to mean anything, it happened.”. I love that! Such a powerful statement of now, being in the moment. Thank you for bringing us such evocative ideas, Mary. It makes me think, (but not too much:)!

  6. As ever, Mary, your timing is spot-on. I am turning 50 in two days and that “scary” number has been haunting me for months. (Age! Infirmity! Irrelevance! Doom!) You are right: our value as people is not attached to a random thing like chronological time on this earth. That’s a label outside of myself, something over which I have no control. My job is to be the best human being I can be.

    1. Little sister, Kelly! You have many older sisters here in the flock that are joyously welcoming you into your fifties! Happy Birthday on Saturday! – I wish I could remember better something that was said at the end of one of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood books – one of the girls was going back to her childhood home and she ran into an old Black man who had been a long time servant in the family. He had given away many of his earthly possessions and he also seemed to her smaller in physical stature, well into his eighties, I think. The character asked him what it felt like to be this old and seemingly so happy, and he replied, “Honey, I’m getting lighter every day!” – for some reason I have always remembered that line because the lightness he felt seems to reflect his freedom, his non-attachment to the things of the world – he was becoming lighter and lighter in spirit, no longer choosing to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. Am I rambling here? Just sort of makes me think he was coming into his own realization of his real self, unencumbered by the things of the world. He was truly comfortable in his own skin.

      1. No Susan, you are not rambling! I love your comments…It is so easy to feel accountable and responsible for so much, to take on so much ‘weight’ every day instead of just allowing our light to shine, seeking the joy of life. I love the ‘getting lighter every day’ perspective…thank you for sharing it!

      2. I remember what you’re talking about Susan. It’s a book well worth reading again. Thanks to you I’ll add it to my list.

    2. Happy Birthday Kelly!
      Don’t worry, it’s just a number.
      Each decade brings new gifts.

    3. Happy happy birthday Kelly and sending wishes that your ’50’s’ are the best yet!!! With so much more to come!

    4. Happy Birthday Kelly…thoughts of love and happiness to you!

  7. Mary I love this post. It gives me an immediate physical and emotional reaction as I read and ponder it. And where do I feel the reaction? Right in my heart…it is a feeling I can not describe but it is that feeling when you know something is right…and you ‘get’ it, along with a big smile. It’s what awakening is all about. And all I can think of right now is the purity of a heart to heart connection. Like that very special feeling when you are inside a hug with someone and you just don’t want to let go…pure peace and love…when you feel your soul connecting with another’s, be it another human, animal, bird, flower, stream, rainbow…that pure loving energy connection …you and Tolle just nailed this for me…thank you…thank you…

    1. I really appreciate this Kathye…the word “sweet-heart” comes to mind as I read your words

  8. I just wanted to say Thank you Mary for your blog and to all that “belong” to your flock
    What an amazing group of “friends” you have here
    I don’t post often ( well almost not at all ) However I do
    faithfully read your blog every day
    I just got home from 2 weeks in the hospital with my husband
    of 30 years ..He had quintuple bypass surgery
    Coming here and reading everyones comments always maked my day jjust a l

    1. I’ll hold you and your husband in my prayers and in healing light. I would love to light a candle, too, for you, and will do that now. Blessings, Collette.

      1. Collette, here’s to smooth sailing from now on in for your husband. Not an easy operation nor easy being with someone you love who is having it. I often reread Mary’s blog at the end of the day and it seems to decompress me.

    2. Dear Collette, Thank you so much for letting me know how you feel about the blog (and for what is going on in your life). …I am so glad that you did comment. Loving thoughts to you and your husband, Mary

  9. Hi Mary and fellow WFF Friends,

    Thank you for a great reminder for those times when I get “ego bound “.

    What beautiful insights I’ve received from all of you.

    We are all ONE!

    1. Yes we are Monika and thank you for your beautiful thoughts!

  10. Thank you, Mary…….I went on a “spiritual walk” at a convention once , I had a message given to me, and in the dark, 100 “strangers” whispered in my ear my message, mine was…..”nothing is good or bad, but my thinking that makes it so”…….

    1. That is an amazing sounding experience Sandy…I can feel the power of it coming right through your words. Thank you for sharing it.

  11. I could so identify with this post Mary. My mind tends to over think everything. Leading me to feeling worse than I did before! This is a good lesson for me. Happy B.Day Kelly. The 50’s are awesome. I was hit with a spiritual jolt on my 50th. I felt strong and half a decade powerful. I said to myself,”I’m not going to take any more crap from anyone.” I didn’t and still don’t! Whatever man.
    Prayers and strength to your husband Collette. The stength I got from Mary’s flock during my recent health issue saw me through and kept me faithful.
    Blessings, Cindy

    1. Thank you Cindy…I always feel worse too when I over-think. Sending you good thoughts for a beautiful weekend

  12. Thank you so much for your sharing your thoughts. I look forward to them. You bring a different angle to the view. Makes me pause in a busy day and think, just a little bit , about who and what I am all about.

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