Dancing our way through life

Esther on her pillows (which made me think of the song,   so the link to it is below)

Esther on her pillows (which made me think of the song, Celebrate (by 3 Dog Night)! the link to it is below

It came to my attention, after posting yesterday (on assuming perfection in our lives) that some people thought I was saying that having a perfect life meant getting everything we wanted, how and when we wanted it. This is so far from what I intended to convey that I wanted to clarify a bit.

Several weeks ago, I decided to take dance lessons for one reason: so I could dance at my son Tom’s wedding and feel relaxed. I signed Jack and I up, but he was sick for the first lesson, so I went alone. What came out over the next week (as he and I talked about learning to dance) was that he didn’t really want to take lessons…for whatever reason. This left me with the choice to either go alone, not go at all, or coerce him into doing something he didn’t want to do. The choice was mine and I chose the way that felt best inside of me….and called it perfect. What I had originally thought I wanted was for us to go as a couple, have fun learning together, and be able to practice at home.

But this wasn’t Jack’s idea of fun, it was mine, and I had to decide what course would bring the most fun to my life. The way was clear: take lessons alone.

The “perfection” that I am seeking is inner peace, inner joy, inner happiness, no matter what is going on outside of me. It isn’t peaceful to feel like a victim or pitiful. It isn’t peaceful to think that if someone loved me, they’d do what I wanted them to do. …because I could just as well flip that scenario around and say that if I loved him, I would do what he wanted.

The perfect day is one in which I remember the deepest essence of who I am; when I don’t fight the world. It doesn’t mean that I don’t take action or that I just sit on my couch passively Oming away the day, never making a decision, but I know that when I’m upset because things aren’t going “my way”, then I am not in the flow and that’s my cue to look for the perfection. Many times I just claim it before I really feel it, but just saying “Well, this must be perfect” unlocks something inside.

I no longer fight with Life (well, almost never!) and that is perfect for me.

“How would you cope if you had to live in a Disco for a week?” (an unhappy participant at an Eckhart Tolle seminar asks him this question in response to the noise and crowds at the current retreat location). Eckhart responds, “If I couldn’t find peace, then I would walk out the door. Assuming that I was locked in, what’s left is surrender….so I would probably start dancing.”  Eckhart Tolle

24 thoughts on “Dancing our way through life

  1. Thank you for this clarification. I struggled with the word “perfect” and “perfection” because that is a concept I had to let go of in recovery. However, you gave it new meaning. I work at what you talk about and now I can say it is perfect, which is magical.

    • Thank you Kathleen …I had the same feelings about perfection and have found this way much easier

    • Oh how lovely to think my thoughts made you smile Regina! a very Happy Easter to you too

  2. “The perfect day is one in which I remember the deepest essence of who I am”… simply beautiful, Mary. What I love is that we have the choice to claim the perfection in the moment, or not…I hope I always choose to see it. That is my aspiration. Because the alternative could leave me mired in the mud. Your post and Susan A’s comment makes me think of the song lyric “…and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance…I hope you dance”. One thing is for sure…we get to make the choice! I love the quote too! Thank you!

    • It is my aspiration too Kathye…I’m looking forward to the perfect day today (and seeing you will be a part of that!)

  3. Just finished trimming and shaping my wisteria as the buds are just about ready to emerge. . . the air was fresh, the birds were chattering to each other, and I felt a tremendous feeling of well being. . .a perfect moment close to nature. . .happy spring, happy season of rebirth to you, Mary, and to all. . Veronica

    • Oh, I feel the perfection of your words Veronica…and I was looking at my wisteria plant just yesterday (the first time this spring)…love the connections, and a happy season of rebirth it is!

  4. Mary, I’m glad you clarified your intention with your ‘perfect’ post. Communication, be it written or visual, is such an individual thing that I’m surprised at how well you communicate with us here over the internet. It reminds me of the quote by Josef Albers, who said: “If one says ‘Red’ – the name of color – and there are fifty people listening, it can be expected that there will be fifty reds in their minds. And one can be sure that all these reds will be very different.” We all hear and see things differently and what we read and here is connected to our own personal experiences and reactions. I think you d

  5. AND IT POSTED BEFORE I WAS THROUGH: I think you do a “perfect” job in communicating, Mary…and I’m not shouting, just trying to isolate my comment from my intent…
    Sandy P in Canada

    • Thank you so much for telling me this Sandy…it is so nice to hear, sending you wonderful, warm and loving thoughts today, Mary

  6. Whenever I see a comment about being perfect, I immediately translate in into “whole” which is how the word should have been translated in the New Testament. We and our lives are not without flaws but they can be whole. Mine at present is whole. I lack little in fulfilled needs and as far as wants, well they are just that – wants. As a good friends once reminded me, “The Good Lord let me get up this morning and the sun is shining so I’m doing just fine.”

  7. Hi Mary and All,

    It’s all perfect!

    If any of you would like a free PDF of “The Power of Now ” check out Glad.is
    This is their gift of the week for anyone who signs up for their newsletter.

    “Celebrate. ..dance to the music “

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