Jumping into Life

Jack

Jack

13 years ago today, April 1st 2000, I wrote in my journal, “I can see him. He has smiling yes (I meant to say eyes but the mistake made me smile), and dark hair. His name is John?….” I remember this for a couple of reasons; it was written in red pen, and it was April Fools Day. There was no reason for me to believe that I would find a good relationship. I certainly didn’t have one modeled to me as a kid, and my track record was dismal, to say the least, in that department.

Still, deep down, I could feel this longing and desire for a true partner and husband, even though I was so afraid of having another failure.

Six and a half months after writing this entry in my journal, I walked onto the steps of Jack’s Outback Antiques in Cambridge, NY, and met Jack Metzger (Joseph John Metzger). He had the most wonderful eyes that crinkled up when he smiled. He was kind, warm and loving. He was also as terrified of getting into a relationship as anyone I’d ever met. I was struggling with finances. He was too. We both loved going out to dinner. He had a preference for dogs. Mine was cats. ….we were perfect for each other….not because things were easy and we made each other happy. We’ve found out that no one can do that. But we’ve grown together, learned from each other, wondered how we ever met (at times wondered why we ever met, and what delusional state made us believe that getting married again was a good idea?!).

One thing that I know about life, is that you cannot do it “perfectly”, if by perfectly you mean without emotional upheaval at times. So much advice suggests that you must become completely happy with (and love) yourself before you can be a good partner…well, good luck with that. If this was truly the case, then most of us would still be single, diligently trying to perfect ourselves, and I’m pretty sure the human race would die out. We cannot wait until we reach enlightenment to start living and that thought, I think, is just fear speaking. Relationships are messy. Life is messy. We are all learning how to do this thing called Life by doing it;  making mistakes (or so-called mistakes), experiencing emotional ups and downs and hopefully looking at ourselves a little deeper in the process. We wake up in the middle of living life, not by avoiding it.

Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall.” Ray Bradbury

Robin H. is the winner of the soap!

39 thoughts on “Jumping into Life

  1. Liked this story about ‘jumping into life.” Twenty four years ago today, April Fool’s Day, my husband and I were two shell shocked survivors of bad decision marriages…..should we or shouldn’t we go forward with a new committment? We ‘jumped into life’ and while not all has been smooth it was the right decision. AND we never forget our anniversary😉!

  2. Mary, Whata beautiful story and so true. So glad you and Jack have shared these years together. You make a beautiful couple. Love Jeanne

  3. Congratulations Mary and Jack (one of the best guys, ever). Love the message to keep on keeping on through at times, messy life…..no mistakes…..just……MIS-takes.

  4. This post has me in tears. My illness & recovery from surgery have given me the gift of showing me ways I’ve tried to protect myself emotionally that aren’t working for my greatest good. I love it that you found that smiling-eyed man. Your post gives me hope in this spiritual springtime. Thank you for being so authentic, Mary.

    • I love your words Christine, “…that smiling-eyed man.”! Sending you loving thoughts for opening up and blessed recovery

  5. Ahhhhh yes…Jack’s smiling eyes and your happy smile are a joyous, contagious combination that just naturally uplift those of us lucky to be part of your lives. “My” John (John Michael!) and I count you and Jack among our sweetest blessings…we love the way you ‘jump into life’ and reach out your hands to others to join you! Much love to you both!

  6. “He has smiling yes”…
    What a magical vision, and it turned out his name was even a derivative of John!
    Today’s entry such a lovely April UnFools’ story. I love how you daily share the Treasures of Being. Thank you, Mary.

  7. Hi Mary,

    I for some reason am blocked from leaving a comment (it’s my computer this morning!). But I just love this post and your handsome Jack’s smiling photo. What a wonderful tribute to him ~ thanks for sharing it with all of us!

    Candy

  8. The message in your post today Mary is especially important as my husband and I are steering our life in a new direction and trusting that vision is sometimes unnerving. Even though I have an amazing partner, fear-of-the-unknown still visits me as a bedfellow in the dark of night. Now that a decision has been made, action has been taken, money borrowed, time invested… I do feel a bit in a free-fall, so thanks for that wonderful quote by Ray Bradbury.

    • May your landing be sweet, Lynne! – Watching two little baby birds in the nest of a cactus on my daily walks for the past week, I am reminded that one day they will not be there, because there wise Mama will just know when it’s time for them to fly the coop! And fly they will, – your decision making may have been the hardest part – may it all be smooth sailing now. (tell fear to stop hogging your blanket! 🙂

  9. Dear Mary, thank you for this uplifting and so honest post! I too met the love of my life….knowing we’d give each other not only love and support but the challenges and lessons that any good relationship will. There are days when we drive each other crazy…there are days when we are in complete harmony. It is a relationship of true friendship and soulful commitment….congratulations on your marriage with Jack and for all the wonderful life lessons you bring to each other.

  10. Mary, the last paragraph of today’s post was so powerful I said, “wow”, right out loud at my computer. Thank you for reminding me to just keep living through the doubts and through the fear. After all, what’s the alternative??

    • Thank you Heidi, …I keep thinking about that too. What is the alternative, giving in to fear and not trying? Never! Not for us! Happy flying today!

  11. What great perspective to share with the readers (who will likely share again with their peeps) Thanks so much.
    I have appreciated stopping by your site each time I do.
    Cindy in NH coastal

    • and I really appreciate that you do stop by and your lovely words Cindy!

  12. Couldn’t resist sharing this youtube of Van Halen singing JUMP! Oh my gosh, just wikipedia’d it to see how long ago it was released – 1983! THIRTY years ago? Say it isn’t so – doesn’t this music make you happy ? – brings me back to feeling 31 again! Great for a spring day! Love to all! – Mary, thank you for sharing the incredible warm smile of your Jack!

  13. Just found this reading today’s Tiny Buddha. Funny how once you start thinking on a theme, you receive messages all over the place.

    “To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.” ~Pema Chodron

  14. Mary, May you have many more beautiful years with your crinkly eyed guy – even if he can’t dance – I come from a family of dancers who hear music and start moving – I once danced down two aisles in Home Depot as my husband just shook his head and smiled – He always says he dances great from the waist up because he keeps his feet flat on the floor and doesn’t move them and he’s right!! And that goes for both fast and slow dances!!Yet somehow this marriage of 43 years works Thank you for giving me something to ponder, (and be grateful for), each day – Enjoy – Mary near Cooperstown PS and thank you for showing us there’s always some new way to appreciate life

  15. Loved your post, Mary. And to everyone out there who has their “Jack” or “Mary,” hug them tight. You are blessed!

  16. My John and I (second marriage for both) moved in together on Labour Day 1987- it has now been 25 plus years. Wow. We sure had some struggles during those stepfamily years when the kids were growing up. On Saturday as my “baby” (aged almost 32!) and his wife made dinner for the four of us, he reminisced about the stepfamily growing up and said how successful he thinks it was (and is) compared to the many others he has seen. We sure sometimes felt like those years were a struggle. What a gift for him to say that! Not to mention the gift of cooking the dinner! LOL,

  17. Like Grammacello above, blended families, second marriages, none are easy but how wonderful for you and Jack that thirteen years ago happened, Mary. And your comments in your last paragraph, among them, “Relationships are messy. Life is messy” should go on a t-shirt sometime. Relationships sure are a challenge at times and thus, can make life messy at times. But they sure make you grow, if you’re paying attention to your part in them. You’ve accomplished a lot in the past thirteen years, Mary, between acquiring a husband and a blog and focus of warmth for us all.
    Sandy P, In Canada

    • thank you Sandy, and I so agree with you, Jack (and our animals) are a continual reminder of who I am, where I need to grow still, and how far I’ve come

  18. Jack looks so crinkly and so cute! I identify with you Mary on so many levels. Thanks again for an honest and real post. Cindy

  19. Love this story, Mary, of how you met your Jack with the smiling yes. I have often wondered how your paths first crossed. I am always amazed how one thing, like you walking into Jack’s shop, can change two lives forever! May you continue to be similar and continue to be different, it’s what makes life together so interesting and so much fun. Love to you both.
    Xoxo Marian

    • I know….it still delights me how in the blink of an eye a life can change, how in an instant, opportunities (long waited for, doubted, hoped and longed for), present themselves like, “Here I am!”…and all I have to do is say, YES

  20. How wonderful, Mary! Thanks for sharing this story. Add me to the smiling yes chuckle list… Yours truly once wrote a similar list (it’s right here in my nightstand, well-worn but legible) and six months later my now-fiance appeared. Happy day, everyone.

  21. Hi Mary, Pete and I have been married 1 yr. It is the best thing that both of us have done. We have learned a lot- oh boy! Thanks for being you. I enjoy your messages- expecially this one! Love Lillian and Pete.

    Date: Mon, 1 Apr 2013 11:21:53 +0000 To: doranlillian@hotmail.com

    • I love you 2!…everytime I think about you and Pete, I smile. Sending you both blessings of happy thoughts, Mary

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