Building a case….for a perfect life

My niece, Mary, when she was a little girl, holding one of her kitties (we are a family of cat lovers!)
My niece, Mary, when she was a little girl, holding one of her kitties (we are a family of cat lovers!)

One thing that I’ve noticed, in both myself and in others, is the tendency to build a case against the present “difficulty” in hopes of leaving it behind. Every romantic relationship that I ended, I first thought I needed to build a case against him: he was unavailable emotionally or too needy, too boring and unwilling to seek adventure, or too unpredictable……on and on.

In the past, the idea that a certain man, or school, or town, or home, or job, was “perfect just the way it was”, and that I was ready for something else, wasn’t a part of my consciousness. After all, if it was perfect, why would I want to leave it, him or them? So I built a case against my current situation, thinking that this was the only way I could justifiably leave. I told stories of why it was not good enough. I highlighted, in my own mind, its faults. I thought that loving and accepting the present situation meant that I wouldn’t have enough motivation to leave. My mind demanded, “Either you give me a good reason (i.e. what is wrong) or stay where you are and shut up!”

I equated acceptance with resignation and stagnation. The trouble with this approach to life is, it doesn’t work….long-term. Sure, we might leave the “old”, and  for a while, the new seems great; so different, so much better, so improved, but after a while, we discover to our dismay that we’ve dragged “what is wrong” right along with us and it shows up again, in the new (man, school, town, home, job). The world “outside” of us is just a mirror…a reflection of our state of mind. For permanent change for the better, I need to change (my mind) for the better, the good, the more expansive.

This is really up for me today, since we have found a new home and want to move. I’ve noticed my tendency to say (about our current home) “This house is too small!” or “I need to be in town, not in the country” or “I need to live closer to my family.”…..and all of these thoughts, in this moment, fill me with anxiety because in this moment, I am here, in this little home in the country, 2 hrs away from my son….and the reason that I know that these thoughts are not the Truth of my being is because they feel small, tight and restrictive. They have a desperate quality to them. They fill me with unhappiness. These thoughts are old, uninspired, and dead feeling. If I want to live more fully, I need only change my thoughts to ones of love, happiness, and beauty, for all that is in my life now.

So, I’ve started saying, “This is perfect. My home is perfect for us right now. I accept my life today, and I Trust the Divine, the Loving, the pure Goodness of the Unknowable All, that is working in unimaginable ways to bring more of all good into my life, in perfect timing, for the good of all”.

At night, as I’m falling asleep, I whisper, “I trust You. I trust You….” to this secret place of the most high, to the God that I do not comprehend but know lives within my heart, and the hearts of every other being in this Universe.

And I love the way that I feel when I do this. It makes me want to almost giggle with delight. It brings me back to a place that I only slightly remember when I was a little girl. One of wonder, delight, trust, and faith that all is well….and I am going to continue to do this; to sing forth the perfection of this Life, until I sing out my last breath…I may falter, but I will not give up.

“To attempt to change conditions, before a change in consciousness is to struggle against the very nature of things. Man can go round and round in the same circle of disappointments and misfortune, not seeing them as caused by his own negative inner talking, but as caused by ‘others’. To change circumstances, we must change from within first.” from a lecture given by Neville Goddard in 1955

13 thoughts on “Building a case….for a perfect life”

  1. Dear Mary, this is a powerful and beautiful post! Thank you for your honesty and your continuous ability to share not only your own wisdom, struggles and perceptions, but for your ever-present willingness to seek peace, happiness and balance. Your words touch me deeply today….I am seeking my own balance, working through some significant challenges….and I am so grateful to be boosted every morning by your blog and the comments/participation of the others who comment. The support and love that is generated by you and all the flock carries me through my own personal struggles…gives me faith and reminds me that my core beliefs of goodness, love and light…..are solid and true. Bless you and everyone here!

  2. Mary, This is PROFOUND!! I so fall into this trap. I’ve forwarded it to my loved ones, printed it for my wall and will be saying “I trust you. I trust you. I trust you.” as I go to sleep at night. THANK YOU!!! And, as always it seems…perfect timing! :O) xoxoxo Kay

  3. this is so liberating and this IS perfect, mary. this posting i am printing to carry and tuck under my pillow. i am so here. love

  4. Wow, Mary, that week you took off from writing on the blog a short while back surely must have been a wonderfully reflective time for you – you keep writing the most wonderful uplifting messages lately. I love this, “I trust You, I trust You” – yes! Today’s Tiny Buddha opened with this quote from Viktor Frankl, a lovely companion thought to your post. We hold the keys to set ourselves free!

    “The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.” ~Viktor E. Frankl

  5. Look at how carefully Mary is cradling that kitten, how lovingly she is gazing at it! You have taught her well Mary.

    And the message today is priceless!
    Thank you for that as well as the lovely picture.
    From Fran

  6. I love this post too Mary! Building a case with gratitude FOR this very moment instead of a case against our present circumstances. It took me a while to get into my rhythm of my every night prayer of Gratitude and Trust and my daily early morning prayer of Gratitude and Anticipation. But now it makes me smile and brings me such peace. For some reason it has seemed easier to move on or to let go of something if we perceive it as ‘damaged’ or ‘wrong’. My sister and I have even joked that when we clean out an old drawer or closet and are holding on to something that we just can’t bring ourselves to throw away, we ‘smash’ it with a hammer! And then there is no problem heaving it aside. If we make something or someone seem worthless or lacking, it seems easier to walk away…but then are WE really growing? We might be doing just the opposite, shrinking, diminishing…But by staying healthy where we are, by dreaming from that place in our desires, The Divine will continue to lead us to our greatest joys…in perfect time.

  7. I love this post too. It remindes of the saying in 12-Step Programs: ” Where ever you go, there you are,” which reminds us that our problems are more often within us than caused by the people or environment around us. That goes for joy as well as problems! Thanks, Mary!

  8. Loving this post. Thanks, Mary! This spoke to me on so many levels, I will be WEEKS sorting it out.

    And thank you, Susan, for the quote from Victor Frankl. He is a person I always listen to!

  9. Mary, thank you for such a timely post. I am once again, getting ready for a move. This one to Idaho, the 3rd and final phase of our plan is coming to fruition. We bought a house in Boise in 2010 with the plan of retiring there “in a few years”. 2nd phase, in the fall of 2011 was to sell our home in suburban Omaha and move to downtown Omaha, within walking distance to my husband’s workplace. He is now retiring after 38 years with his company and the move, phase 3, is coming up fast! Lots to do and I do get overwhelmed from moment to moment, your words today help me to remember to trust the perfection of this time and Divine with in. Here’s to being in your perfect place!

  10. I too have been working on just being grateful, and delighted in what I have in the NOW. Again this is perfect timing for me and a mantra that I will be repeating. Namaste.

  11. Mary,
    Your blog, and especially this post, right now, in this moment of time, speaks to my core. I am grateful for you and your words.
    In gratitude,
    Mary Jo

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