It’s a Wonderful Life

On Friday, my son Tom will be getting married. The preparation has been exciting and stressful, and both the exciting and stressful parts were as a result of my thinking. I hit what felt like a bottom (with the stressful part) on Sunday afternoon. I tried to take a nap and felt myself consumed by every little detail (many of which I didn’t even have anything to do with me) including the weather.

My mind just kept tossing out worried little thoughts, one after the other, for me to consider, and I was giving each one  my attention.  I justified this thinking (stressful thoughts) by saying,  “I just want his wedding day to be perfect” and I would have believed this in the past, but I know too much now.

I know that “perfect” has much less to do with what happens, than how I am feeling/thinking about what happens. I know that even if I was capable of lining up every single component of this wedding (to what I thought was absolute perfection) that this still wouldn’t create a perfect wedding day. I know what creates a perfect wedding, or a perfect vacation, a perfect event, a perfect day…and that is the Spirit of Love. The Spirit of God, that shines through a mind that is open to all that happens, and doesn’t clamp shut with thoughts like, “This shouldn’t be happening! or What if…., or I’m just worried about…..” is what creates a “perfect” atmosphere.

I started repeating, “God is in control of this wedding. All is perfect”. I decided that I was going to joyfully do my part and then sit back and watch in wonder as the untold moving parts came together in harmony…in Grace. This thought was like taking a deep, restful breath.

Many years ago, when I heard people say that they were turning something over to God, it sounded to me like they were coping out; depending on some guy, sitting somewhere in a cloud, helping out (or not), depending on “His Will” for them. This was the kind of God that I was raised with, and it was never a very comforting or reassuring thought to turn anything over to “Him” (it was for sure a man) since I believed that I’d been bad enough in my life, that when I finally turned anything over, it would be “His” chance to give me what I deserved; nothing, or nothing good. I could imagine him saying, “Oh, you’re finally asking me now huh? Well forget it missy! You are too late. I don’t even hear your prayers anymore.” Like when George Bailey, in, It’s A Wonderful Life, went to Mr. Potter in desperation, to beg for mercy and help, and Mr. Potter “helped him” by calling the police to have George arrested.

Dropping this image of God, as a strict, sometimes punitive Being, did not happen overnight…and it still creeps back at times. I know I’m back there when I feel all alone. When I feel like I need to figure it all out without any help (or certainly any loving help).

But most of the time, when I think about God, The Spirit of the Universe, I feel like I am a part of a huge, expanding, beautiful sphere of light that includes every being, tree, rock, animal, thought, experience. And I remember that It is Harmony, Grace, Peace, Happiness, and Perfect Timing.


27 thoughts on “It’s a Wonderful Life”

  1. Yes! “All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.” Julian of Norwich (From “Revelations of Divine Love”, published around 1390)

    Best wishes Mary for what is going to be a lovely occasion full of love and kindness and caring.

    From Fran

  2. Oh Mary, I’m sitting here giggling having read your post. I was raised with a ‘Him’ too, not hymn….which could be a good play on words now that I think of it…a God floating somewhere on the clouds looking down at the earth, how in the world did He keep track of every human being, I wondered. My organized religion that I grew up in did have a punitive ‘confessing our sins to God’ every Sunday in church and I finally, in later age, said, I don’t believe in a punitive God…heck, there were times I’d sit in church and repeat the Nicene Creed and wondered if I’d have to pull some sins out of a hat because I couldn’t think of any to confess. When the assistant minister said, after dropping in for a cup of tea one day, that we sin from the moment our feet hit the floor in the morning I told him I’d be hard-pressed to get out of bed in the morning. Don’t think he was impressed with that. Turning something over to God, yes, I thought too it was a cop-out until I got desperate enough to try it and whether I’d conned my own mind into passing off my stress and worry to a Higher Power or not, it worked. There is something to this….
    An exciting week ahead for you, Mary and only four days to go.
    SandyP in Canada

  3. I, for one, have been thinking of you and your family. I want to wish all of you – especially Tom and his future bride contentment, happiness and love. As you know – it’s all perfect, just the way it is. Sending lots of love your way.

  4. Mary I started off about 2 years ago what I call a GOD box and wrote down all my wishes in there as I was praying for certain things and nothing was happening. I then said GOD I have handed it over to you and forgot about the box. About a month ago I opened this box and to my surprise everything I had asked for had happened. Just thought I would tell you this that it was not in my timing I received it but in GOD’S time i received it. Thanks for all your inspirational thoughts.
    Regards Annette in sunny South Africa

    1. Annette … what a WONDERFUL idea. I’m going to find myself a “GOD box” and start doing that myself. Surrender is the most difficult challenge for me. Thank you ~ and have a wonderful day.

  5. Mary, the entire wedding celebration WILL be “perfect,” exactly as it should be. Love and blessings to you and all your family on this happy occasion! ♥♥♥

  6. Dear Mary, thank you for yet another beautiful post and reminder to trust in a divine power that brings blessing, healing and light. I’m sending good thoughts to you and your family for a wedding filled with love, generosity and goodness!

  7. higher power speaks to me, cause it is without a name, label or judgement. it seeks to connect and not separate, in my humble opinion. I have experienced the grace of this power many times. ENJOY celebrating this new beginning with your son and all the love that will be present . ” grace happens” p.s. I hope when you recover from all the love shared, you will post a picture. Hugs to you and Jack!

  8. Regardless of the weather and regardless of what “little thing” might go wrong, it will be a wonderful wedding and a wonderful day. And you, Mary, will be a beautiful part of it all. Stand tall and smile, Mary, and all will be well.
    Sending you smiles and love as always,

  9. Glad to know that I am not the only one who,feels this way! I have had a great deal of trouble, “turning it over.” Afterall, if you have a vengeful God that is out to get you it doesnt make much sense to even think about turning it over to Him.
    I am just now, after 8 years of sobriety beginning to get that maybe, just maybe, whoever or whatever is theremis ot outmto ‘get me.’

  10. Dear Mary, we all wish you a beautiful Tues/Wed/Thursday as you prepare to celebrate the marriage of your son and soon to be daughter in law on Friday! Loving vows exchanged, friends gathered together in love, a wedding feast lovingly prepared and eaten, and dancing and laughing and singing and sharing – it will all be just perfect!

    As for handing it over to God, I just heard my cellphone buzz on my desk – it is being recharged. That made me think of how we, too, have batteries (our spirit!) that need to be recharged. We cannot do it alone, anymore than our phone can give or receive a signal for more than a day or so. Handing it over, it’s like connecting to the power far greater than ourselves, and waiting patiently. Ah!, it’s the patiently that’s hard!

  11. What a wonderful celebration you are about to have, Mary. Many, many blessings on you and the new family about to be created.

  12. Have a wonderful Wedding Day on Friday Mary. You will be blessed with this new experience and the joy of memories of this day forever. Congratulations, Mother of the Groom.I wonder what song you and your son will dance to… We want a photo of you and your man on this glorious day! Love, Cindy

  13. God IS in control of this wedding and all will be perfect, wonderful, joyous… All will be well. Hope you have a sweet and special day as your son and his love take this big step into marriage! xoxo

  14. “..goin’ to the chapel
    and we’re gonna get married…
    gee, i really love you
    and we’re gonna get married
    goin’ to the chapel of love.”

    wish i had musical notes to delineate music, but hold this tune in your heart and all is well. enjoy as much as you can! that old god source is no where near where you reside today. welcome everything home.

  15. Mary – Best wishes for a wonderful wedding day Friday. It is certain to be “perfect” in every way. Your message was just what I needed yesterday to recharge my batteries (love that reference, Susan!). Peace and love to you and yours as you celebrate a beautiful union.

  16. Mary- You have reminded me of something that happened at my wedding. It was my second marriage, and since my first wedding had been so stressful, I was determined that my second wedding would be fun. It was in our house, an 800 sq. ft. cottage in the Hollywood Hills, packed with all our friends and family. My friends had offered to help, and one of them picked up the wedding cake for me. The cake was supposed to be shaped like a big basket of beautiful flowers. No one opened the box until it was time to cut the cake and we discovered that they gave us the wrong cake! This one was for a kid’s birthday and had pink bunnies all over it. “What shall we do?” I wailed. “Let’s eat it!” laughed my husband. And we’ve been laughing and having fun for more than 20 years together. So, I know that your son’s wedding will be wonderful because it’s full of love and you will keep it light and fun. Have a great time!

    1. Oh my goodness what a GREAT story Victoria! I love it! We got home last night and I am just now reading comments. Thank you for that great vision (I am going to look for “pink bunnies” in my life from now on. …and my son’swedding and everything around it was pure magic, Grace, Love.

  17. The day has finally arrived and ALL WILL BE WELL. Our thoughts are with you Mary. Enjoy it goes so quickly

  18. Sending all good wishes to you and the family on this special day. You are in my thoughts. Prayers sent for a life full of every good thing to the new couple!

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