The one we’ve been waiting for

a nap in the sun
a nap in the sun

There is a woman whom I’ve known for years but began to avoid. It seemed like every time I saw her, she was trying to “help me’ spiritually. She would refer to the tradition, and course of study, that was the focus of her life, in almost every conversation. She is a very nice (and earnest) woman, but didn’t appreciate this aspect of her…which seemed to be a very big aspect of her.

Then one day, I had a revelation: She was trying to help me, why not take it? My mind had a fit with this thought and started throwing stories to me that sounded like, “She doesn’t even know what you do for work? She is trying to “up you” spiritually (a lot of this goes on in the spiritual commuity…a lot of ; “I know more than you, and can do more than you can spiritually/energetically”, and this can be tiring, especially if you are one of the ones doing it, but aren’t aware enough to recognize it!).

I had the idea that our friendship (if it was going to be one) should be an “even” give and take, but it seemed like all she ever offered was her spiritual perspective, and I didn’t want it.

Anyway, one day that changed. Something inside just said, “Take what she offers”. Since that day, it is an utter delight to see her. It always helps, and I feel no need to “even things out” because she doesn’t want what I have (and after I got over the ego-hit of that, I was free to receive her suggestions/thoughts, and I must tell you that it has been wonderful). I actually do give back to her, but in more tangible things like soap and skin balm; gifts that she wants, and appreciates.

Once I realized that not everyone needs or wants to hear what I have to say, but some want to give these gifts to me, my world opened up even more.

I’m not talking about accepting someone’s fear-based theology (or cosmology), or feeling obligated to listen to the religious opinions or unsolicited ‘advice” of anyone who wants my attention. I, personally, don’t give an ear to anyone who believes that they know the only way to God/Spirit, or has an exclusive religion. I don’t engage in conversations with people who believe in a vengeful, scary, concept of God, moral finger waggers, or those who believe that they are somehow special because they have accepted some creed, or have the inside track on the Spirit of the Universe.

But this person wasn’t even close to that. I came to see that the real reason I didn’t want to listen to her was only a matter of ego. It was the same feeling that I used to have when I looked at the catalogues of places like the Omega Institute or other spiritual centers. I’d open these up, and look at the faces of those who had been invited to teach/present, and feel instantly deflated.  “What is so special about them?” my little jealous mind would say and I’d throw the catalogue/magazine away. My mind wanted to find fault with anyone who seemed to be doing something that I wanted to do, but feared I never would…so I closed myself off in my struggle to be “special”.

We are special…..couldn’t be more so. Each one of us has a unique way, is a unique way, that the Divine is expressing, through us… and as us. Once I accepted the idea that I didn’t need to try to be noticed or recognized as special, once I opened to the help that was being offered to me (almost constantly and from many places), my life began to feel like an adventure. And then the openings happened, the offers came, the opportunities (that I felt were reserved for those who had some special something that I was missing) were presented.

Open up today. Be surprised at how much you will learn, see, and begin to experience, with an open, fearless, mind  (and heart) that doesn’t need to prove anything.

A teacher of fear can’t bring peace on Earth. We have been trying to do it that way for thousands of years. The person who turns inner violence around, the person who finds peace inside, and lives it, is the one who teaches what true peace is. We are waiting for just one teacher. You’re the one.”

Byron Katie

27 thoughts on “The one we’ve been waiting for”

  1. Mary…you are very special…your spiritual struggles seem to parallel mine and I share your blog with everyone I encounter. Keep up the good work. I will keep my ego in check today at work as well.

    1. thank you for your words and thoughts Patte…I am so grateful to be able to connect with open hearts, like yours, here on the blog. Sending you happy thoughts today! Mary

  2. Dear Mary – This message brought me to tears. Thank you for your honesty and sharing your personal growth. It’s incredibly helpful to me. The quote is amazing. (Speaking of amazing, I just finished “Proof of Heaven”. Wow!)

    1. I appreciate you letting me know this Pam…I love it when something moves me to tears…it makes me feel even more connected to the person/situation that moved me (and your sharing draws me closer to you). May this loving circle continue! Blessings to you, Mary

  3. There is a lot of power in honesty, Mary thank you for yours. My “spiritual awakenings” often come from and when least expected. Misssing my late husband and best friend, saying this to a friend , my 9yr old grand daughter close by said, ” he is always near you” , I was instantly taken to a place of peace, pure, simple , matter of fact……untainted by life experiences and opinions…….I listen closely to what any child has to offer.

    1. Sandy, that is so beautiful that the sweet words of your granddaughter opened your heart and allowed peace to fill you. Out of the mouths of babes 🙂 They are so fresh from God, I always say.

    2. That is so sweet Sandy! Thank you. I was floating in the shallow end of a beach yesterday and a little boy swam right over to me and said, “Hi, my name is Vince. I’m 5 1/2. How old are you? I told him that I was 57 1/2 and he said, “Do you want to play with me?”….I loved this.

  4. Dear Mary, thank you for this beautiful message today! It strikes a deep cord for me…spiritual wisdom that I really needed to hear. Your blog, the followers and all the daily insights and uplifting teachings are so very important in my life. Thank you for always reaching for the light and being willing to share your own personal journey. You make such a positive difference.

    1. Thank you so much Debra, for your words today, and for being such an important, loving and open presence on this blog. Thoughts of gratitude and happiness are floating in the air to you today!

  5. Indeed, Mary, as Debra put it so well, we are attracted to your light! From near and far we gather here in the mornings and take with us a kernel of your wisdom and love with us into our days. I love this invitation to be open, to let peace enter our hearts as it did Sandy’s with the words of her granddaughter, ‘he is always near you’. Just before reading today’s post at the farm, I read my Daily Om which was a reminder that we live in a state of grace, even when we aren’t feeling it. Then I read your words to be OPEN, to be a vessel that waits to be filled, and then maybe that’s when we realize, we do live in a state of grace, if only we can be still and feel it and be filled with it. The Daily Om said, “Grace is the state we are in when we are doing nothing but just being who we are.” Thank you Mary and everyone who contributes, you so enrich my life!

    1. Oh thank you Susan, for enriching my life and expanding the ripple of Love that I feel everytime I read your thoughts …I see us all as beautiful jeweled dragonflies, dipping, swirling, and playing in and around a radiant pond, all adding to each others experience of more life. Love to you today!

  6. Thank you so much for your honesty! It helps me so much to read detailed thots and feelings that others have and to know that when those thots change, life is better. I am happier. So many teachers speak in such generalities that I don’t find useful. You are a wonderful teacher for me. Thank you!

    1. Thank you for this Kathy…you know, that was my intention when I started to write a blog. I too, find it so helpful when someone shares their journey in specifics….I remember saying to a friend once (about a very well-known spiritual teacher) “I just want to know if he struggles with some of the same things that I still do?” There are a couple of women ministers, (and although I don’t line up with their theology) I love it when they talk about everyday situations and how they handled them.
      Sending you loving thoughts today! Mary

  7. thank you, mary. it seems that as I open to what is, the more free I am. ego doesn’t seem to want to take a place at the table with humility. i’m beginning to see ego for what it is, in me.

    and yes, we are each special and isn’t it so super that there is enough “special” to go around, so much so that we can acknowledge the Other with out endangering the self. it only gets more free-ing

    1. I really like the way that you stated that Virginia…”enough special to go around”!…it is like that spiral that opens up, and out, to more Life, Love, happiness, instead of getting smaller (when we see “special” in others, isn’t it?! Happy, swirling thoughts of Love to you today!

  8. By truly listening to anyone giving me information of a spiritual nature, I can determine in a nano-second if it’s of the ‘spiritual’ or of the ‘religious.’ I always walk toward the spiritual and walk away from the religious. It seems to have become an epidemic today that those immersed in their own religious views want you to accept them or be damned. I have no time for that.

    Hearing and contemplating spiritual information always brings me a gift….sometimes big, sometimes small….but a gift nonetheless. And I have found that the younger the child doing the offering, the more pure the gift is. They haven’t yet become indoctrinated.

    Very good post, Mary. Thank you.

    1. Thank you for sharing this Suzanne…it is so true! I can (I think we all can) feel that too, and I appreciate the way that you articulated it. Our open hearts and minds always recognize that openess in “another”, and you are right, it is so attractive. Blessings of surprising gifts to you today!

  9. Whew, this morning’s posting was like eating a full-course meal, Mary, in one bite. I could relate to the other woman ‘trying to teach you something’ and the fact that your ego got in the way…mine would too…in fact, I began to think about how anxious I’d get when people talked so much and I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. And then I went on to “Once I realized that not everyone needs or wants to hear what I have to say, but some want to give these gifts to me, my world opened up even more” I thought, my goodness, my ego gets in my way all the time…initially…it has to be a conscious effort to get my ego to shut up and listen to what is going on…because it tries to dominate everything. And i think that about says it all…my ego needs constant minding and reminding.
    SandyP in Canada.

    1. Thank you so much Sandy. When someone is trying to talk to me (and I can feel that their intention is of a high energy) or if they are just telling me a story (that is somehow uplifting to them), I have begun to realize that it is “for me” too. …and the more I have practiced this by saying silently “This person has something to share, and it is for you.”, I start to really be present and almost excited to hear what they have to say. Love to you today, Mary

  10. A lovely message. I have trouble letting go and losing control, which makes it tough on myself and everyone. Battles of wills generally leave no survivors, I think. Someone has to be the bigger woman. Opening up and being will to accept what others have to give – not what you want to take – is a wonderful lesson. Thank you.

    1. You may find it easier than you imagined…I know that when I finally “got it” that what I was about to hear was “for me”, I became more excited to listen, and actually looked for it. And it comes from everywhere!! (which is something that I never knew and is so much fun!). Loving ripples of joy to you today!

    2. “Battles of wills generally leave no survivors, I think”
      I love rereading all the postings in the evening before going to bed and this phrase spoke volumes to me. Thank you CD

  11. One very special thing that I know for sure? I know that I will ALWAYS need and want to hear what you have to say Mary. And will always appreciate it…and I stand firm in that! As for some others…I’ve learned (through your help) that it is a waste of my time and my spirit and my energy to try to figure out another’s motivation and/or intention behind their words or actions…it seems like it comes from their past, their experience, their pain, their struggle and often has very little to do with me…we can feel when something is offered in pure joy or from pure love or with pure intentions…our gut just tells us so…and I find that then, I’m likely to hang on every word…XOXO

    1. Thank you so much Kathye! …and I can feel that too; when someone is coming at me with “their stuff”…it feels off (no matter what words they are saying), and I have found too, that when I don’t try to figure it out, but just drop it, if there was any truth or wisdom in it, it will float to the surface on my consciousness and if not, it just drops away of its own heavier weight. Sending you loving thoughts of light and happiness today!

  12. Love this idea, Kathye! Find our focus, – beam on the good, pure, beautiful and true, and let it be our guiding source – and let the rest fade, fade away, anything that removes us from our focus.

  13. Great post, Mary! Unless a person has that “Tony Roberts” glaze in their eyes some of what they’re spouting can be nourishing. I used to have an oil/water relationship with one of my sisters and when I opened up to her more we’re now friends. Thank you!

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